Some comments and replies to the OP's points:
I'd take that a step further and say that SE went overboard with how they implemented role actions. Looking at the level spread of actions and how they were implemented, they seem to have had two goals: keep the cross-class system and re-use the slots that used to be the numerous traits classes and jobs used to have.
They did strip a bit much from the jobs as a result, but also created another set of false choices in an attempt to create diversity by giving you a limited number of role action slots and a greater number of role skills (thus keeping the mechanics of the cross-class system).
I expected role actions to behave more like skills naturally gained as you level. An example being that at, say, lv16, GLA, MRD and DRK all gained Provoke. No need to assign it. It just appears on your action bar. The last thing I expected or wanted was the cross-class interface with a different coat of paint.
Before I say more on this, full disclosure: the cries of "stance dancing is dead" are what got me to level WAR first instead of PLD. PLD has been my main since ARR, by the way.Stance Dancing's removal cripples WAR more then any other class in the entire game.
My issue with the way WAR players push stance dancing is that there's literally no mechanical benefit to switching stances. This was also the case in HW, where the only thing that changed was the effects of Equilibrium (and WAR had so much self healing that Equi's Defiance effect was seen as worthless). It's not like you have extra utility, mobility or mechanics tied to switching between Defiance and Deliverance; only DPS increases, which do not fit into the above categories.
So if you want stance-dancing to become a thing for WAR, the first thing SE needs to do is design WAR around stance-dancing. Right now, what WAR has is mere counterpart abilities split between the stances. If you want a damage increase in Defiance, you have Unchained. If you want a damage increase in Deliverance, you have Inner Release. If you want a resource spender that hits harder than your weaponskills, you have Inner Beast in Defiance and Fel Cleave in Deliverance. You want AoE, you have Steel Cyclone in one and Decimate in the other. The only reason this looks like a problem is because the skills are not gained in proximity to each other, but instead over huge level gaps (one of the reasons why I believe Defiance needs to enter the game around lv10-15 and Deliverance should enter the game at lv30).
There's ways to make the practice worthwhile without involving numbers too much. For example, Onslaught could have a reduced cooldown but cost gauge when in Deliverance, but have threat bonuses and cost nothing when in Defiance. Storm's Path could deal higher damage when in Deliverance (to replace Butcher's Block), and instead convert 100% of damage dealt to HP when in Defiance. Fracture could come back as a skill that decreases damage dealt to you by the mob for X seconds in Defiance, but could instead act as a stun that deals damage in Deliverance.
If WAR were to be taken in this direction (in combination with Defiance losing the extra HP/healing received and WAR gaining a skill that switched you from one stance to the other), then I wouldn't have much of a problem with stance dancing, as the core of the gameplay is less "muh deepz" and more about tactical decisions involving skill effects in their respective stances. You can even remove the cooldown between the stances at that point and possibly create a maximum cap of gauge transferred between stances.
This is basically SE's way of saying "stay/spend most of your time in Defiance while tanking if you want self-healing". I am personally fine with this.Continuing onwards, if WAR wants that "amazing" self heal in equilibrium it needs to be in defiance or it needs to switch to defiance.
The short list:New abilities. PLD got five new skills.
Onslaught - I've said it before, this thing needs to generate 20 gauge, have a minimum distance of 10y to use, and cost no gauge. Gap-closers shouldn't be fillers between GCDs, but skills you reserve for closing gaps.
Upheaval - Good filler. No complaints here.
Shake it off - I'll admit this would be good in situations where the mob debuffs the WAR and the healers never set Esuna. Which almost never happens. The concept fits the WAR, but a "hit me to increase my damage/mitigation for x seconds" skill would have worked better.
100% agree. I don't know why they didn't make the PvP action Thrill of War into a raid cooldown for WAR. I also once suggested a skill called Intimidation that reduced damage dealt by the mob for 10s. Either or would have worked, IMO.Zero unique team utility.
While I understand that you don't like the design approach, I don't really understand the teeth-gnashing I've been seeing over not using every skill all the time. It reminds me of the people who complained that Clemency is not used all day, every day by PLD back when it was introduced. It's almost on the same level as if a MNK were to complain about how they're not filling every GCD with old One Ilm Punch or Arm of the Destroyer.Lastly, the class is simply just not fun to play (IMO).