I'm a tank...but I think I may suck

[Guolstyrm]

I've had the game now for nearly 30 days. FFXIV is my first MMO and I chose tank because it appealed to me the most. I've thoroughly enjoyed the game thus far, but recently I've hit my first real bump in the road.

I think I may suck at tanking. This wasn't an issue until I hit the lvl 40+ content.

My biggest issue is that I don't know how to optimize the rotation for WAR. The other issue is managing aggro on larger mobs. I'll be totally honest here - I struggle to keep up with what's going on when pulling a large mob (like 4+). I find it difficult to keep up my various buffs, monitor health, and manage aggro on a lot of enemies. I know there is an aggro meter and an enemy list that shows whether you're aggro'd or not, but I still have issues as sometimes an enemy won't be in the list for some reason. I play on the PS4 and I have trouble cycling through the enemies as well - sometimes I end up inadvertently targeting an ally and can't target the enemy I want quickly. It doesn't help either when other players want to get through the content quickly (and understandably so since many people have done these dungeons countless times) and attack ahead of me and spread the mob's aggro, making me struggle to get it back.

In some of the 40+ dungeons, I've had other players get irritated with me because I pull smaller groups, slowing the content down. I always make it a habit of telling others when it's my first time in a dungeon - and several times people just abandon the dungeon after I say so. That is somewhat disheartening. I want to keep playing the game, but having others get mad because I lose aggro and/or die because I was solely focusing on aggro and not paying enough attention to my health isn't very fun.

tl;dr - I like tanking, but I want to be better than I am. Are there any hints or tricks to managing aggro and keeping track of everything (health, buffs, cd's, aggro, other player's health)?

Edit: My avatar still shows me at lvl 33 for whatever reason, but I'm 45 now.