Brevity is the soul of wit: Request to fix the horrible writing on XIV's quests

[Ganvire]

Can't we all just calm our tits and have a cookie?

*casts Cookiega on thread*

[Efrye]

I like the writing in XIV a lot, and so far I enjoyed pretty much every single quest thanks to that. In other words: Don't change anything, thankyouverymuch!

[Lakefingers]

"Ifrit is back, you Need to kill it, but get me inferno tapers so i can make you a lamp to get into his lair. "

Damn, you should totally get the job for the game rewrite.

[Rane]

The NPC need to be a bit more concise. They are so verbose and fond of circumlocution, full of platitudes and roundabout ways of saying the most simplest of statements that might otherwise have been conveyed in half the words and a quarter of the time. It's such a waste of my time. Mine and yours.

Maybe if they add more voiceovers, then it will encourage the writers to pull back a little bit.

It gets really bad when you can't tell the personality of one character to another. Everyone just vomits these paragraphs of ye olde English and it feels forced. For good writing, it should only take a sentence or two for players to get an idea of who they're talking to, what they're like, and what they want. Not everyone you meet randomly on the street will just give you paragraphs of info without any provocation.

At least make it a conversation, if you're going to.

I completely agree with both of you.

I think there are several problems with NPC conversations and the way in which they are presented. I'll focus on just one, though.

In addition to unnatural verbosity, NPCs tend to use language more suitable for written as opposed to spoken English. That goes for word choice as well as sentence structure. I don't feel like I'm being spoken to. Rather, I feel like I'm reading an essay.

Take this example from the quest dialog in the OP:

"Ever since our founding, we have endeavored to archive all extant knowledge, that man might learn of his origin and destiny both."

This is a beautifully written sentence! Beautifully written. Nobody talks this way--not even very smart, very important people.

It may look OK on paper, but just try saying it out loud. Suddenly it's confusing and hard to understand. That's just not how people order their ideas when they talk. Furthermore, while I would expect that character to know the word "extant", it's unnatural to use it when speaking.

I think our localizers have an excellent command of the English language--much better than mine. Perhaps that's why so many of our NPCs sound like they're reading lines out of an essay from a graduate-level literature class.

[Volta]

I personally enjoy the text of quests when I take the time to read them. To say they're not well done is a stretch.

Verbose, perhaps, but you can continue to spam enter and not have an issue.

Final Fantasy has always been around strong plots. Don't encourage the developer to skimp in that aspect (not that I think they'd seriously consider it, anyway).

[Hulan]

I personally enjoy the text of quests when I take the time to read them. To say they're not well done is a stretch.

Verbose, perhaps, but you can continue to spam enter and not have an issue.

Final Fantasy has always been around strong plots. Don't encourage the developer to skimp in that aspect (not that I think they'd seriously consider it, anyway).

That is the thing, I don't think, at least I hope, that anyone is suggesting there be skimping of any kind. Quantity isn't necessarily the problem, neither is quality for that matter. It's the difference between reading an excellent autobiography or reading an excellent screenplay. Right now, FFXIV quests are like well polished biography. The writing is superb, the context is interesting but... Games aren't autobiographies, they are screenplays. What I believe "we" (being the OP and a few choice others in this thread) are saying, is that the game needs to examine it's choice in presentation.

Just look at the quest the OP posted, there is only one character, speaking over and over again with no interruption or interaction from other NPCs or environments. As I have said before, I love the writing, what I am posting here is a critique, in the most literal sense. I am offering advice on how I think they could take a good product, and make it spectacular.

[Physic]

That is the thing, I don't think, at least I hope, that anyone is suggesting there be skimping of any kind. Quantity isn't necessarily the problem, neither is quality for that matter. It's the difference between reading an excellent autobiography or reading an excellent screenplay. Right now, FFXIV quests are like well polished biography. The writing is superb, the context is interesting but... Games aren't autobiographies, they are screenplays. What I believe "we" (being the OP and a few choice others in this thread) are saying, is that the game needs to examine it's choice in presentation.

Just look at the quest the OP posted, there is only one character, speaking over and over again with no interruption or interaction from other NPCs or environments. As I have said before, I love the writing, what I am posting here is a critique, in the most literal sense. I am offering advice on how I think they could take a good product, and make it spectacular.

thing is, people do talk that way, i have met them. It depends on the person, but even if they are overdoing it, the other thing to consider is they cant have a dialog with your charachter, it doesnt speak, rather it is assumed to that you speak to them even though text doesnt show it, because they dont want to put words in your mouth.

Example, npc in limsa adventurer guild:

Heard there were another starshower o er the sea not but a few days past. Hm? ye say ye seen one yerself?

this line of text implies you told the npc that you saw one yourself, even though you literally didnt say anything. The npc is also a pirate type, and it speaks in a dialect, and basically has fairly simple sentences conceptually.

got to understand they havent wrote in any of the players dialog, because they didnt want to put words in your mouth that you would never say. It leads to a storytelling problem in some respects, but being an interactive game, some things are sacrificed.

[Nayt]

thing is, people do talk that way, i have met them. It depends on the person, but even if they are overdoing it, the other thing to consider is they cant have a dialog with your charachter, it doesnt speak, rather it is assumed to that you speak to them even though text doesnt show it, because they dont want to put words in your mouth.

Example, npc in limsa adventurer guild:

Heard there were another starshower o er the sea not but a few days past. Hm? ye say ye seen one yerself?

this line of text implies you told the npc that you saw one yourself, even though you literally didnt say anything. The npc is also a pirate type, and it speaks in a dialect, and basically has fairly simple sentences conceptually.

got to understand they havent wrote in any of the players dialog, because they didnt want to put words in your mouth that you would never say. It leads to a storytelling problem in some respects, but being an interactive game, some things are sacrificed.

Reminds me of the old days when I used to do text-based RP's on forums. There were a number of strict rules against controlling the way other characters acts or reacts, brought to the extent that even in private rp's which were worked out on beforehand, this wouldn't be allowed. That, however resulted in shallow, short posts which didn't get anywhere fast.

Suffice to say, it was dull.

Like some other gents above me posted, though, it doesn't feel like these npc's are really having a conversation with you, as much as excitedly waiting around to spew out lore and wisdom upon all those who would get in the vicinity.

[Hulan]

Well, when I say dialog, I understand the difficulties with including dialog with a silent protagonist. But that doesn't exclude them from including other types of dialog. My only critique is the sheer quantity of quests that come down to solo acts by the quest giver. Where are the quests where another NPC comes up and demands his money? The quests where two NPCs have crushes on each other but are so terrible at social interaction that they need you as a go-between (believe it or not, I'm using an actual example from FFXI here).

The problem with the writing as it stands is everything is so isolated. Each individual quest is written well and quite interesting, but they feel so stranded. Quest givers could be in blank white-washed rooms with no windows or doors, alone in the universe save you and almost all of them would still work.

[carraway]

As I mused upon this, I absently bit into a cookie, one from a generous basketful proffered me earlier. It was at that very moment that I noticed what appeared to be traces of gysahl greens—aye, the selfsame leafy plant favored by chocobos—embedded within the half still in my hand, in a fibrous state that could only be described as digested. Here my chewing grew labored. For the sake of propriety, I forced down what was already inside my mouth, but not before breaking out in cold sweat at the implications of the discovery.

We might have bested the imps in the challenge, but I daresay the odious little devils managed to have the last laugh after all.

Never change a thing, S-E.