Tales from Duty Finder: Some make you laugh, some make you cry. Let's vent.

[TruebladeNuke]

Snip

Fair enough. I'll admit that, believe it or not, I've had worse. (I have yet to meet anything that'll top that one Garuda HM run I once had...) At least it didn't end in a wipe. I said it in the first post I made, but I actually do approve of healers finding time to squeeze in DPS. Just... not to the point of where they're allowing their tanks (and others) to die to unavoidable damage.

Tanks are heavily resistant to damage, yes. It's how they're built. But they're not immortal either. Said healers I dealt with apparently forgot that fact.

[KisaiTenshi]

Again, no where in my post did I mention the run was slow or that I wanted it to speed up or anything remotely impatient. If anything my party members were actually the impatient ones since they couldn't stop for a minute to quickly chat about this issue of a healer healing with cleric stance on and running out of MP while doing so.

Yet you felt the need to bring it up again. Take a look at https://clientsfromhell.net/ and read how often good intentions become extra pain.

^ this mentality is toxic. Why is help or advice a bad thing? Why does offering help or advice lead to arguments? People are turning it into a bad thing with their toxic attitudes and responses when people chat to them.

Because they did not ask for help, and you just assumed they didn't know how CS worked. Do you see baby animals in the wild and take them to the SPCA assuming they are abandoned?

I'm not saying you shouldn't have offered, I'm saying that whenever you offer unsolicited advice, you are bound to make people mad if you keep asking. Asking repeatedly for the sale is something that obnoxious sales people do, and customers HATE that, so many people rebuff offers of help, even when they need it just to avoid being taken for a ride.

It is a MMO. Massively Multiplayer Online game. Social & cooperative gameplay. This isn't a solo game.

Yet, we can't talk to one another about any concerns while trying to complete a cooperative piece of content. We can't offer help/advice or even ask questions of someone else because of players like this who immediately think we are attacking them if we do so.

Like I said, they've probably been told by multiple people and are sick of hearing it. It's easier to ignore unwanted advice if the person offering takes the hint.

You asked a question to me? You are trying to give advice? You're trying to help me? No, you must be just attacking me! You are just being impatient! You're just an elitist! You're so rude!

By the way, all your little labels are wrong except the last one. Yeah I was a bit rude at my last comment because of her claiming I was attacking her when I was just trying to help. You do eventually get fed up with that kind of attitude. Wasn't even an ounce of rudeness before that, just advice and being honest (maybe a bit bluntly so, but honesty none the less)

I technically only tried twice to try to make her understand what I was saying about Cleric. Not six.

Maybe it's just my customer service experience speaking (I used to take calls, and monitor calls,) but people will read into what they want to see. If I can see the passive-aggressive tones in your text, then it's very likely the other people in the party did. Avoid being rude and you don't lose the high ground. De-escalate, not humiliate.

[Mhaeric]

The irony of someone telling someone to de-escalate something while simultaneously continuing to escalate the conversation in which they're saying that is rich.

[Khaidal]

The irony of someone telling someone to de-escalate something while simultaneously continuing to escalate the conversation in which they're saying that is rich.

I think the best thing to do at this point is to put KisaiTenshi on the ignore list. She wants attention, let's not give it to her.

[HyoMinPark]

I DID IT! I FINALLY DID IT!
YES! YES! YES!!!!!!

Warning: Picture spam!

AND MY FRIEND GOT AN EXTRA NIGHT PEGASUS WHISTLE. AND GAVE IT TO ME. BECAUSE HE'S AMAZING.

[VanilleFang]

snip

I really don't understand this logic. "You didn't wipe so it's fine".

Right. They didn't wipe because the tanks did their job. Healers ignoring healing to put out more DPS is not something you should commend. That's ridiculous. And you said "or but they healed when things went bad"... Things went bad because they didn't heal in the first place. If the tanks were less skilled or timely with CDs there would have been a wipe. Oh but I guess it's okay because there wasn't one?

The WAR ended up dying, for example, because he wasn't healed properly. It was only salvaged due to proper tank play. And no, the healers raising the WAR doesn't save a wipe. He wouldn't have had to be raised if he was healed.

[Miste]

The irony of someone telling someone to de-escalate something while simultaneously continuing to escalate the conversation in which they're saying that is rich.

The sad thing is I actually offered Kisai help back in another post in another thread; since they are on my server and had just returned to the game and was saying that our server has toxic communities on it...so I felt bad she felt this way so I offered my help, but I guess all she sees is passive aggressive. I've tried to "de-escalate" with her multiple times to get back on good terms since the time she called me an elitist. For someone who preaches it it seems strange she cannot see it when someone tries to offer it to her.



No one can tell people's moods or tone through text...no one has that power unfortunately and it looks bad on her to keep assuming bad things about people due to this incorrect idea that she actually does posses this power. She knows basically nothing about me because all she has seen is text on a screen.

She called me elitist before. So her mind is set about me. Everything she reads that I type is immediately going to be "passive aggressive" because her mind is closed to any other interpretation at this point.

I may have to just put her on ignore list and give up, first time I've thought of using it, but I've tried to discuss with her and reached out to her more than once trying to be helpful and amiable and it just falls on deaf ears to the point where I had maybe come to the conclusion that she was trolling and she continues to call me elitist, rude, condescending, and passive aggressive with no real facts to show I deserve those titles.

Sure I get irritated sometimes, we all do, but I've been neutral with her and trying to help on pretty much most of my discussions with her. So I personally don't get her issue with me, but I don't think I care anymore so she can say whatever she wants about me I can handle it anyway.



Thank you to everyone who tried to help explain to her with me and for the support.

Spoiler tagged to not clutter the thread.

Anyway I won't post anymore without a story to go with it cause this is what the thread is for:

This one is from maybe a month ago I just never posted it since we hear enough about mentor problems usually...but I figured it actually highlights the problem I have with people assuming they know the intent or tone of text on a screen.

I got in progress Shiva EX in mentor roulette. I have gotten some clears on her through DF in the past with new people so well not too bad you play the card the DF gives you. It can be a big time waster though unfortunately with a lot of wipes and low chance to clear. (Actually to augment a good story just this week I got Shiva EX on tank in progress and we actually killed her on my first try being in the group and got like 4 people clears the inprog was awhile in though so they had some practice before I joined obviously.)

I usually let the new people know that if they just want a clear then Party Finder unsync is quicker and way higher chance to clear; especially look out for "WT" parties. A lot of new players have thanked me for this info because they didn't know about unsync and have waited hours in DF to queue in only to fail over and over and they just wanted to get one clear and get the quest finished and move on.

I just say it to help out since gotten a lot of people thanking me for letting them know. I always stay to help EX primals and I try to see how the party goes then offer tips as I see issues.

Well...there was another mentor who joined in progress just after me who immediately got really pissed off that I was giving this info to the new players. He started swearing at me "don't be a ***** mentor if you don't want to help."

I politely clarified to him (even though he didn't deserve polite) that I never said I wanted to leave or didn't want to help I am here I am helping I am not leaving I was just sharing useful information, but he just wouldn't drop it and kept being salty at me for like the next 10 minutes of us trying to do the fight. I tried to type out some tips after a wipe and he interjected with "you don't actually want to help them so stop pretending" -_-

Finally one of the returner players told him to shut up and was like "she's been here trying to do the fight with us, what the heck is your problem dude?"

The best part? This "righteous" mentor left the group after the next wipe while I stayed with the group and continued to help. We ended up vote abandoning later because we basically ran out of time with only 7 mins left or so, but we tried.

Again another situation where assumptions are making people treat others badly for no reason at all.

[Sylvina]

I think that being a nice person should be a prerequisite to mentorship, but I don't think there's any way the game can ensure that with the current mentor system.

[HyoMinPark]

Alright, so my last post wasn't very Duty Finder-y, but I couldn't not share it because I had vented about wiping in PotD on floors 190+ in here several times, and just wanted to share my success. To make up for my off-topic post, let me post now about an epic DF I just had.

Grinding out the last level on my PLD before the servers go down tomorrow, so I queue up for my Trial roulette, and get tossed into a Bismarck Story Mode. About 30 minutes had passed on the timer, and I was honestly expecting it to be Chrysallis when I saw that, but no. Just Bis. Anyways, the only person in the DF was a sprout BLM. I asked what happened, and he said that there had been a wipe, and people just started leaving (go figure). He said he'd waited over an hour for the queue to pop, and had been trying to recruit for a good bit, I think. So I said I'd see what I could do, and started asking around in my Linkshells. I got a DPS in, who also started asking around in their FC and LS as well. After about 5-ish minutes, we'd managed to scrape together enough people (and get some in-prog queuers as well) to have a full group, and cleared Bismarck in one pull. One wave for each phase. DPS was on-point!

I was so glad to have gotten that sprout his clear. I really did not want to leave him hanging on Bismarck Story Mode, especially since he was trying to progress through the story, and needed that clear. So I was glad we were able to help him out, and I really wish that I could have comm'd everyone that had joined up in-progress to help him out as well. This is just a story of how awesome this community can be sometimes, and a good example of what mentors are supposed to do. This is exactly why I wear my crown.

I really hope that sprout enjoys the rest of Heavensward, and is psyched for the upcoming release of Stormblood!

[Amelia_Pond_Behemoth]

Alright, so my last post wasn't very Duty Finder-y, but I couldn't not share it because I had vented about wiping in PotD on floors 190+ in here several times, and just wanted to share my success.

Congrats on your clear!