It's simple. You either have to accept and tolerate that there is this one rule, that falls under the gray line of different play style, and can be enforced at any given time without any punishment or consequences. Or you have to start doing something about that.

In other words, if someone wants to kick the healer for not dps'ing, dismiss that healer, but make sure you're dismissing that dps as well if he/she isn't even close to the damage output they should be doing.

There should be no excuses anymore regardless what job/role someone is playing. Everybody entering the DF/RF/PF should be treated the same. Maybe after we did a 3 month witch hunt, punishing every dps that doesn't perform in DF, the same as they would in a static, we can return to being civil.