A Heartfelt Post To This Community That I Am A Part Of.

[Krythas]

I've had a very hard life and have never contemplated suicide. Why? It's illogical. You have all the time in the world to be dead, but no matter how crappy life gets, it's very short in comparison.

[Faliandra]

Everyone says to reach out and what not....but what do you do when reaching out has been met with nothing but ignorance?
What if those few people who definitely COULD help you just decide not to?


Then what? Am I still supposed to think how much they care?

[micropanther7]

Everyone says to reach out and what not....but what do you do when reaching out has been met with nothing but ignorance?
What if those few people who definitely COULD help you just decide not to?


Then what? Am I still supposed to think how much they care?

I think those of us who have posted in this thread, and who have dealt with mental illness, with family and with myself, there are people like that, who find it hard to understand or relate to what you're going through. As I've got older, I've found that people who will stick by you, understand (and even give you tough love if necessary), aren't always family. The people who mind, don't matter, and the people who matter, don't mind... there ARE people who care, one sinks so deep it's like you become blind to who gives a toss. I'm speaking from my own experiences here, when I attempted and thankfully failed to take my own life, I learnt hard lessons that day on how it can affect others and myself.

To the OP and everyone else who has posted, thank you for sharing such a brave and heartbreaking post, so many thoughts and feelings I'm experiencing from reading your words and others in this thread, that I'm not sure what to say. My sincerest condolances for your loss, and it is very true, we do matter to someone.

[Synrin]

As I've got older, I've found that people who will stick by you, understand (and even give you tough love if necessary), aren't always family.

Not necessarily friends either. One of my co-workers on her way back from lunch came across a guy having a panic attack in the street. Sat down with him, talked to him, got him a bottle of water. And she stayed with him until he felt better.

Reaching out for professional help is sometimes also needed. In some cases an educated person can do much more than your average 'ignorant friend'. Care doesn't equal knowledge.

[Faliandra]

I think those of us who have posted in this thread, and who have dealt with mental illness, with family and with myself, there are people like that, who find it hard to understand or relate to what you're going through. As I've got older, I've found that people who will stick by you, understand (and even give you tough love if necessary), aren't always family. The people who mind, don't matter, and the people who matter, don't mind... there ARE people who care, one sinks so deep it's like you become blind to who gives a toss. I'm speaking from my own experiences here, when I attempted and thankfully failed to take my own life, I learnt hard lessons that day on how it can affect others and myself.

Maybe its your failed attempt, that made people wake up and realize whats going on though. Maybe then they only realized how bad it is?
Maybe this wasnt just a lesson for you but also for everyone else around you which led to a change for the better?
So basically, just because I still laugh, people tend to think that "it cant be that bad".

Reaching out for professional help is sometimes also needed. In some cases an educated person can do much more than your average 'ignorant friend'. Care doesn't equal knowledge.

While I kind of agree, I also know from first-hand experience how many people just try to make money off you by subscribing you things.

And I really cannot agree more with this statement,because its as true as it gets:

Also, it's good to be aware: depression and suicide can be something that is a result from your brain chemistry. Sometimes prescriptions can "cure" you. It won't for people like me, who have reasons haunting them.

Prescriptions wont magically cure you, if the source of your issues dwells somewhere else. In fact, I believe that in some circumstances these prescriptions can even make the issue worse.
But these "professionals" often seem to think they know BETTER than yourself just because they studied that subject and try to pressure you into doing something you do not WANT(because you KNOW it wont help).

I'm sure an objective, neutral look on the issue from an outsider and some knowledge CAN bring some useful insight...but I hate it when people think they can DECIDE what's the cause of my issues
without trying to understand my reasoning of things. Because that's something that just ends up dragging you even DEEPER into your depression. And it truly did.

[Maero]

Thank you for sharing your story and i am deeply sorry for your loss.
I have had depression but not to the point of suicide.
Your talking about it truly does help to show just how much depression is a issue today and by talking hopefully it can help those that suffer with everyday depression.

[HyoMinPark]

Everyone says to reach out and what not....but what do you do when reaching out has been met with nothing but ignorance?

The thing is, is that mental illness is still considered taboo in so many cultures and societies, especially when certain groups of the population suffer from them; for example, young men are supposed to be strong and virile, and suffering from any sort of mental disease automatically, in the eyes of society, makes them weak. But they are not weak. Society has to learn to stop attaching negative stigmas to mental illnesses, because they are far more prevalent than I think people realize. It's like sexual assault: you see the statistics, you see the numbers, but those are just reported cases. Majority of cases go unreported. I think the same can be said for all mental illnesses, not just depression. People don't report it, and instead, bury it. And it slowly consumes them from the inside out.

The best way to combat ignorance is to try and educate people about how debilitating mental illness is; how real it is, and how it's not just something we can take a prescription for and be magically cured. And to stop attaching such negative stigmas to it. Of course, this cannot be done with just a forum post alone. It will take a huge collaborative effort between everyone: those who have suffered, those who currently suffer, those who may not suffer but know of someone who does, and those who have been directly affected by the aftermath of something like what happened with my friend: the "collateral damage" so to speak.

I sincerely hope that, in the future, such progress can be made. I'm sure that progress will be slow, but I have to continue hoping that eventually, there will come a time where people don't skirt around mental illness.

Then what? Am I still supposed to think how much they care?

Well, for whatever it may be worth, I care. Otherwise, I would have never posted this thread. I may be a stranger, but I care.

[ShalindraCelesti]

Wow, this was quite emotional. Thank you for sharing this story and I'm also very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how I would feel if something like that ever would happen to me - it's beyond imagination for those that have never been in a situation like that.

I want to say that you did well to post it here - and even if it's not directly related to the game itself it has to be here - especially!
It happens so often each day, when I'm being online playing and certain players are treating others quite disrespectful and bad, it's not normal anymore. And then they throw words at people like your example and I think to myself: Why does it have to be like this? It's just a game. If it doesn't go your way in some content, just leave but don't spout such words, that could hurt or damage someone in a way, that they really start to think they're better off with ending their life.

There's an individual human being behind every character you see online so try to not be a jerk and show some respect. You have no clue what you're causing if you're writing stuff like "kill yourself". There's lots of people here in this game with depression and mental illness - some don't even seem to have the slightest idea how many there are, that escape from reality so that they don't have to deal with problems.

I was once affected by depression years ago, but I never once have thought of ending my own life because I only have this one. Instead I tried to get help and wasn't shy to ask for it - while I didn't finish therapy I felt better again.

Over the years I often found myself reaching out to others and try to talk to them, give them comfort, "listening" to them and maybe I even have some good advice at some times. I don't have always a solution for everything but if I can distract them from bad thoughts I guess that's the way to go then.

I joined Instagram in April and I got to know some people, who really have it bad - won't say names here. Of course everyone of us has problems to deal with, that's natural. Life is full of obstacles and isn't always meant to be easy but there's always a way to get past that problem.

Don't give yourself up within a blink of an eye - each life is precious! You only have this one chance and use it to make the best out of your life even if it doesn't always work out how you imagined. If you fall, stand up again. If you can't on your own, then stretch out your hand and someone will help you get up.

With that said, if you need a person to listen I'm mostly available on Instagram and you can dm me there (ffxiv_shala) or visit me on Odin to have a chat. I'm always happy about meeting new people so don't be shy.

But what OP said: Don't even consider the "end life" solution. There are far better options.
And this topic should be stickied for real.

[The_Shang]

I'm sorry for your loss HyoMin.

I have a friend myself that suffers from suicidal depression. She is, however, doing really well lately because she's having therapy for it. It was really hard to see her during her low moments, but I'm always there to help her and she's trying to be honest about how she's feeling. She has done selfharm, and sometimes it got really bad and upsetting, but I always tried to make her see that things aren't bad and that there are a lot of positive things to see about her, which always seemed to help.

That is to say, I'm not unfamiliar with depression myself. I have a mild form of autism and you have no idea how bad that can sometimes make you feel, how it makes you wish your mind would work differently. It can get really depressing, especially when you're in an environment where people seem ignorant. I've had job applications where I was turned down because of it, since I don't handle stress well.

My friends are really supportive, and that gets me through the day when I feel bad. That's the best you can do, be really supportive when you know a friend is suffering from things like these.

Thank you for sharing your story.

[Astrus]

I'm afraid this is going to turn into a rant and I've been debating just not posting. I'll post it anyway if only for the sake of having it out of my system.

On the topic of medication: the trouble is that finding the right meds is a bit like playing the lottery.
No two people are the same and what works for one person may not work for another person with the same symptoms.
As I mentioned I've been dealing with my depression for years now. Close to half my life or 15 years, actually. I still haven't found the golden ticket that works for me.
The things I've tried either did nothing at all, so why bother continuing, or only gave me the side effects and made me more miserable.
While I still occasionally try new things my doctor deems promising - like right now, 4 months and the pills do nothing at all - I've more or less resigned myself to battling my demons through things other than chemistry.

On the topic of people simply not caring: Without a doubt you will encounter people like that. There are people who simply can't imagine what we're going through because they're blessed with a psyche so steadfast the thought of simply getting out of bed being a battle for some people seems completely outlandish to them.
Humans are inherently selfish creatures and I've met my fair share of people giving me a hard time about my depression because they hold me to their own standards.
This is where more education on the topic would be appreciated but that topic has been covered by others far better than I could.

Heck on some level I can even see where they're coming from.
One of the major obstacles I'm currently struggling with is making a phone call to inquire about an application.
A simple call and I just can't do it. Every time I try I just grind to a complete halt.
The situation almost sounds comical if it wasn't driving me up the walls but it is what it is.

At the end of the day those people are simply not helping and may actually make matters worse.

However there's other people who will care and at least try to understand. Sometimes you just have to write off the people who can't or don't want to understand as a lost cause.

As a result I'm a cynical recluse and there's pretty much three kinds of people to me: the people I don't really know, the people I know and love to bits and the people I know who are dead to me.
Most of my friends and family are also dealing with depression in one way or another, either by being directly affected or by having someone close to them affected by it.
It positively sucks because I want them to be happy but it also means that they can relate or at least appreciate that sometimes we don't even understand ourselves.
I have no use in my life for anyone telling me to man up or to stop pretending so I'll keep my interactions with the sort to the bare required minimum.
My inner demons are doing a fine job of making myself miserable, if anyone feels like they need to jump on that bandwagon they can take a hike.
It's not always easy to go through life that way but I feel I'm better off for it, while my circle of friends is comparatively small, it's close.