There's nothing wrong with the expectation of people knowing the absolute basics of their job (when to AoE, what buffs to keep up, combo), and in dungeons, as long as you're making an effort/learning/ability to take fair criticism and advice then there should be nothing wrong. There's nothing elitist about this. There does need to be more feedback when it comes to DPS, as unlike tank and healer, DPS is mostly invisible, as the person can see If they're tanking/healing well. but blind to how much DPS they're doing.
The thing I hate the most that regularly comes up is "I pay my sub, don't tell me how to play, I play for fun" when trying to help people with their job. People pay their subs too! As a WAR, you would hate it if I for every dungeon, I ignored getting enmity, focused on DPS/being a burden/being unhealable to the point that the DRG should be considered the tank for that dungeon run, only for me to ignore all criticism by saying that exact same stock phrase or any other that people use to ward off criticism/advice. I would be absolutely despised and hated from the community, as not only do I waste my own time, but the time of other people as well. Time earned by paying their sub. Does this mean that I should be elitist and attempt to do everything absolutely perfectly all the time, 24/7? No, no it doesn't. There's no scary elitist always expecting to do perfection each and every time I do content. We're all human, there are times where we do make mistakes in how we play; time we need to recollect our thoughts and bearings. But when you actively do no effort, not making a single improvement and preventing 3/7/23 other people from clearing content then that's an absolutely selfish behaviour, as you value your time much more over everyone else, not caring about other people, who just like you, want to clear content, want their loot, but they play to the average, to the standard that they are expected to play at, not some extremely high set bar that means you will be banned from all content I you do not reach it.
We all pay to play this game, nothing may dictate how we play except what roles we select, but we must also be considerate to other people, because if you're being a millstone, then I'm sorry but I don't think this game will be for you, as this game encourages team work and co ordination. Let me picture you a scenario. Imagine you have a clear party in, say Sephirot EX. Imagine you, in each run, have a DPS who doesn't do his job, doesn't use his cds, stands in AoEs, wasting healer MP and making it harder for them to heal, makes it harder to DPS adds and when it comes to Phase 3, they ignore mechanics, keep getting themselves killed or worse, getting knocked off, so they wipe the party repeatedly. Again and again. The party keeps pointing this out, but the DPS doesn't listen to criticism, keeps saying that "I pay my sub, and I want to clear this content too and you shouldn't have a go at me for that". Think about the time the party spent, if they hit enrage and could of cleared, if that DPS knew the standard to clear Sephirot EX was at. If that's too extreme, it's Ravana/Bismarck HM, where people still fail in DF for numerous reasons, but if they make improvements and clear, then that's OK. But if 1 DPS/tank/healer, keeps saying the same excuse over and over again and not making improvements and are the repeated reason why a party would clear but wouldn't, well, that wouldn't be fair to the party, as you force others to pick up the work that you're forcing on them to clear.
tl:dr, other people pay their subs and play the game like you do, no excuses why you can't play to the average standards and keep making the lives of other people harder.
Sorry for the wall, just had to get this off my chest

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