Kosmos has a point in that this situation cuts both ways. Not just 'bad' players who refuse to learn their role (of which I've encounteted a grand total of one in my whole time in FFXIV) but also 'elitists' who force things on players that they may not be comfortable with, or skilled enough to handle.
Cleric Stance is an excellent example of this. Yours truly simply *could not* learn to stance dance to save her life. If I'm not required to use CS, I kick ass as WHM (Used to main Holy Prest in WoW, and many of my old skills easily transferred over since it had a playstyle similiar to WHM). Before I gave it up, I was even mastering pre-casting to my pride. I do my job and do it well. Sadly, the immensive pressure to use CS eventually led me to give up healing (which I otherwise loved) to main SMN instead.
Savage is understandable. Its when its expected outside of Savage that it starts becoming a problem.
Part of the problem is that there is no sense of 'gray area' in terms of playstyle. You are either using raid-caliber play, or you suck. And there IS a grey area. Outside of Savage, you can beat DPS checks using less-then-ideal-but-still-good-enough rotations. You can beat those same DPS checks doing this and without healer DPS.
So you have the 'elitists' berating players for not going 'above and beyond' when they might not be ready or simply be unable to. Or simply not being aware of the basics for various reasons, and getting scolded without recieving constructive feedback on how to improve. Hence, these players retreat into themselves, and possibly shut themselves to actual feedback in the future. Why should they care what those 'uppity' elitists think, after all?
On the other side, you have veterans and other genuinely good players getting frusturated, because let's face it this game does not do the best job of teaching. They run into 'bad' players, either genuine or possibly those who'd been burned before like above. Why should they cater to those 'bad' players? Especially if they don't know the simplest things about their role.
Some, like me, have paitience, teach, while recognizing.lost causes (again, of which I've encountered a grand total one). Others refuse to have such paitience, reinforcing the opinions of the players who dismiss improving. And I've found some tend to be a bit condencing when trying to teach someone the 'right' way to play, which doesn't help. Meanwhile, you have the 'bad' player, some genuine, some just the result of bad experiences. They refuse to improve (for some, improving might even be seen as 'giving in' to the 'elitists'), hence making veterns more dismissive of them.
Its just a bad situation and a vicious cycle overall, with both sides perpetuating stereotypes of the others. I don't even know where to begin fixing it, but I think the eventually 'Beginner's Palace' will help. Hopefully. Meanwhile, there are egos and lots of pride going around on both sides, and I don't see a resolution anytime soon.