Top 3 reasons people leave XIV: Sleep, Work, Food. What will Yoshida do to fix this?

[SpookyGhost]

The trick is to start playing XIV once you've become a billionaire, that way you never have to worry about paying your sub, can endlessly order food and have other people shove it into your mouth, never have to work, and can clone yourself so that while one of you sleeps the other can continue playing. It's really not that hard, only filthy casuals complain about these things.

[Mjollnir]

I've got a couple of solutions.

Sleep - with only a week or so of practice, you'll find that sleep offers the perfect time for gathering *especially* fishing. Your reflex motor functions will do all the hard work for you and you should awaken with a full inventory and only slight RSI.

Work - remote desktopping or remote play through your Sony phone/Vita is an easy solution to this. Make sure you get a boring deskjob wherein you have access to the company internet and are able to do any actual work set in the moments you're waiting in Duty Finder queues to level those pesky dps classes.

Food - Just order online grocery deliveries, leave your door open, and ask the nice delivery person to just drop everything around your gaming area. Try to only buy products that will have zero organic waste for hygiene purposes - anything with sauce or inedible skins are a pain.

Defecation - Fortunately, Yoshi-P has thought about this. Make sure that you snatch those valuable afk moments just as you are about to enter DF boss fights - they're usually single arenas, so you can happily afk whilst your party gets the kill.

Boredom - Ha. Haha. HAHAHAHAHA. I mean SERIOUSLY. Do YOU have all the achievements unlocked? Didn't think so. How is boredom possible, with these life-affirming goals laid out in front of you.

[MilesSaintboroguh]

I know everyone is bored, but 3.1 is only a few hours away guys.

[Gamer3427]

I know everyone is bored, but 3.1 is only a few hours away guys.

What it amounts to is that the people who are normally not bored with the game, are now bored because we can't play the game. And the people who were bored of the game, are still bored because they're having to wait until the patch comes out before they can complain about being bored with the game again.....

[Archaell]

I can see the first two, third is debatable. Just order a pizza! :3

"Brb, the pizza has arrived."

Is the most common excuse for afking in my DF runs... of course followed by the person having to mouse click everything as their fingers are sticky. >.>

[kuma_aus]

As for eating, I found getting terminally ill reduces how much food you need/want to consume. Thanks to Google, I found out that the cold I had last week was actually cancer. So I expect the weight loss to come soon.

I need to scratch or massage my bum every few hours I play XIV. I thought it was because I use an uncomfortable wooden chair, but Google told me I have Bowel Cancer. Have to say this ninja update is pretty good, looking forward to not needing to eat as much so I can play more.

[Alistaire]

*AHEM*

Wasn't that an April Fool's Day joke? ...but then again, so was Lords of Verminion. Hmmm.

[Spiroglyph]

Reading this thread like

[MilesSaintboroguh]

What it amounts to is that the people who are normally not bored with the game, are now bored because we can't play the game. And the people who were bored of the game, are still bored because they're having to wait until the patch comes out before they can complain about being bored with the game again.....

Then I guess I am the only person in the forums that can find something else to do other than FF14. I love FF14 a lot, but still....

[Selli]

I need to scratch or massage my bum every few hours I play XIV. I thought it was because I use an uncomfortable wooden chair, but Google told me I have Bowel Cancer. Have to say this ninja update is pretty good, looking forward to not needing to eat as much so I can play more.

Google is the best doctor. Unlike every other doctor, Google doesn't deal with the BS common illnesses, but gets right down to the serious, rare, and life threatening ones so you can get treatment right away.

Forgot to eat all day and decided to gorge solo on a large pizza? Tapeworm.

Sneeze without any warning during raid and wipe the party? Herpes.

Leg fell asleep because you were sitting on it? Amputate it, it's dead.

Joints crack when you stretch between queues? You have too much Vitamin D, go outside less.

Thanks, Dr. Google.