I read the SE forum regularly and occaisionally things that link to reddit. I've see the exact criticisms you're making, discussed here on this forum and referenced by posters here with original comments at Reddit. If you truly have never read the same points or similar ones here or elsewhere then I am sorry. However the point is that your criticisms are not new and have been made before by others.
The fact that your friends list is dwindling is, I am afraid, a natural effect of player attrition. It happens in every game, and in the end you need to make new friends to replace those that move on. The population always shifts and over time you might gain a core group that is consistent, but the whole group will continually change in makeup as people leave or others join (or even return). I don't think that is the game's fault, that is just natural human behavior. Short of altering the premise of the game completely, how can FFXIV keep someone from going off to play Call of Duty or Star Wars BattleFront, or Forza/Gran Turismo, etc? It can't, the most effective thing is can do is stick to it's fundamentals.
Well, I'll just don the flame retardant underwear before saying this, but in my experience, people who raid regularly are not casual players. raiding requires the completion of certain aspects of the game and gearing up to particular levels to be practical or doable. I don't honestly feel that the commitment required to do that - and have a static to work with - can be considered casual.
In story based content, how do you expect there to be replayability, unless you literally replay the entire story on an alt? There is open world content, self directed content and plenty of small mini-games or amusements to play along the way. I feel though that you will tell me that there is no point to that content because it leads no where or gains you nothing. Perhaps you will reply that way, perhaps not. Either way, that content is there in spades, the only element that lacks replay value is story based content. To be honest, all of the dungeons in this game are completely replayable because different groups play them differently, the same is true of guildhests. But if your circle of friends is entirely overgeared, and only follows the established routes, it quickly becomes a chore to run things because it's the same every time, and presents no challenge due to over gear.
That said the ability to run dungeons with fewer players than normal, or solo without gear/level sync adds replay value to all the dungeons in the game. As will the ability to take a group of NPCs through, because they represent different ways to run things.
I did not assume that you personally had, I talked of a specific group within the community that does and stated that the mentality and criticisms you were posting were born of that issue. Then again, what you consider rushing, may not be what I consider rushing.
As for whether it's the problem with the state of the game or not, I think it is, you think it isn't. Given the rather broad range of content and play styles that the game caters to, I can't see how you can suggest the problems you do, unless your criticisms are focused on a specific niche within the game (raiding). Beyond that focus, the game has so much to do it's impossible to do it all.
Ignorance would be blindly following the crowd without considering alternatives. Outside of raiding, my DPS as a Paladin is not a major difference maker. If this game were to boil down to the only thing that matters being DPS, then every melee attacker better stack STR, ranged physical attackers better stack DEX and all casters better stack INT, because that's all that matters. Oh, and let's just change the gear drops and rolling rules so that tanks can roll on DPS gear while we're at it shall we? Personally I think that blindly following the common thought that DPS is the be all and end all is a pretty strong display of ignorance in action, but what do I know, I play Paladin.