Is the option to have scales really limiting to your ability to enjoy the Xaela? I mean, shoot, I mentioned a bunch of toggle-able features, in which in one clan it's be auto on, and in the other it'd be auto off. If you're big thing is "I want to be cutesy and have black scales!" then go with the option that gives more customization of the Au Ra and support that instead of going "Don't touch my Au Ra in any way, just wait til the next race and you might be to your demographic's liking"
The issue is we've yet to have a demi-beast race with (visually) tough women. In fact, being strict about it, we've got the Roegadyn as the only race with Women who look really big and tough most of the time. So no, it's a false comparison. Making the Xaela part of the Au Ra look visually tougher means you have a near identical option, that can even participate in the Xaela's culture. Saying "If you don't like the Au Ra.. Just choose a different race!" is a false comparison because they're visually nothing alike and there's no way you could make a "Xaela" tribe with any race besides maybe hyur. You've got options if the Xaela change to still be an Au Ra, I don't have the option to be an Au Ra if they stay the same.
I've yet to see a "menacing" girl Au Ra, they're the size of 15 year olds. Sure you could, if you want to be your "Menacing yet charming" girl Au Ra, you still have the Raen as an option, however if we want to be a "Big and tough" girl Au Ra, we've got nothing. It's never going to appeal to everyone, but it could appeal to more people, but with more options or changing the Xaela entirely, the Au Ra as a whole will appeal to more people.
I find your notes on Miqo'te interesting. You didn't want to choose them because the emotes are exactly the same despite the entirely different cultures. Wouldn't you find the plea to change the emotes for the Xaela to portray their culture better a sympathetic one? The difference is you're willing to settle, you're not willing to go on the forums and say "SE, can you change this? It's a lazy job and it really just appeals to the majority demographic and that's not fair." Perhaps if you spoke up others would agree with you, and you could get the emotes to be changed to reflect the Moon Keeper's lifestyle and culture better, but shrugging it off and just accepting it doesn't change anything.
Again, are black scales all that more important to you than the people who want a more beast-like version of the Au Ra to be available? Besides, there's always the options of adding to the race. Adding things that are optional will suit both demographic's needs, more so to the "Cutesy 'demi'beast races" demographic's wants, but it's still better than nothing. It's lazy work whenever two different clans have entirely different cultures act exactly the same and look exactly the same.
Sure, I suppose you could construe my argument like that, I've mention just adding optional options that are automatically on for the Xaela and automatically off for the Raen and are both toggle-able, but let's pretend for a moment that that is exactly what I'm saying.
You always have the Raen to play with if you want your Au Ra to stay nearly completely identical. What do we have if we want a tough looking demi beast race? Male Au Ra maybe? Okay, but if you want a girl tough looking demi beast race, you've got literally nothing. Are black scales that big of a deal to you? If you want to roleplay as a Raen living in Xaela culture, you can without even breaking lore. A Roegadyn women in Xaela culture is very ambiguous and not likely, but it doesn't matter because you still don't have an Au Ra option for those who like big, tough women. The only slightly major difference is the scale color, you state this yourself.
I'm willing to believe in SE to change if people start complaining enough, people not supporting the idea even if it doesn't personally go with their tastes are apart of the problem hence trying to work things out logically with people. I have a feeling they didn't follow the poll to a T for good reasons (for example the "Viera" comment spurning a lot of support for another mammal demi beast race and stuff like mixed races being way too difficult due to all the various combinations needed).
You don't have to give up anything as long as you show support for SE adding more options to the Au Ra to make them appeal to both crowds, IE stuff like a "Heavy/light scales" option, an additional "Mature/tough" face for the girls (And I suppose another cute/younger face for the men), or the ability to make any Au Ra go from 4'8 to 7'3. Nothing is lost when you have optional options you can choose to opt into or not.
See, I really don't see how you can find something with the face and body of a 14-16 year old teenager very menacing (Not to mention the lack of muscles seen on the girls). Heck I think the Miqo'te girls look a bit more threatening if you choose something like the bushy brows and use that pose where they've got their hands on their hips. Something feels a bit different with the arm crossed cpose for the girls and the fact that they're smaller than the Miqo'te in every way except maybe the hips doesn't help. I wouldn't mind something akin to like the DRK pose except minus the sword and arms crossed for the girls really.