Social Anxiety and Dungeons

[Buff_Archer]

I have another suggestion as well for overcoming 'healer anxiety' as I call it... I leveled DPS classes first, and had a SCH at 50 before healing a dungeon because I got that job free from leveling SMN and doing the SCH job quests. Someone in my FC had a healer ditch their group in Cutter's Cry and I was the only one with a healer available. I said I hadn't actually healed a dungeon, they said that's fine. I joined in progress, got a DIFFERENT group who's healer had bailed! I told them I hadn't healed a dungeon and was joining in progress to help a group that got bailed on, but I'd stay and help them. Here's what I learned... most groups that lose a healer and get a replacement, for whatever reason, are usually just thrilled to get a replacement healer in the first place. So the next few runs I picked dungeons below my level synch that I knew healers ditched a lot, did Join in Progress, and told the party I was new at healing and helping teams stranded without a healer while I learn. And guess what NO ONE had a problem with that. And even got a high commendation rate for doing that, though my feelings weren't hurt when I didn't get any because I also realized in some cases the other players had to struggle with just each other for awhile and would have commended each other for what they went through.

[Elizar_Naki]

I can sympathize, OP. PLD and DRK are among my favorite character archetypes to play in RP settings, but I've never tanked before. I've seen the way tanks behave (or are expected to behave) and how groups treat them when things go wrong, and I go back and forth between wanting to learn tanking to play those two jobs and just being too nervous about screwing up to even want to bother. I have FC mates and a friend or two who've offered to help me learn, but that doesn't lessen the anxiety any. All I can say is keep trying and try not to let the toxic folks bring you down, although I know from experience that it isn't always that easy.

[Meimi_chan]

In duty finder you can meet all kind of people, from really helpful to bad, it seems that you were really unlucky.
You mentioned white mage and arcanist, so I assume you like healing, then you can get scholar from your arcanist as mp management is better (but I think the class is trickier). Then as others suggested, heal in the lower level dungeons so you can have a better idea about how it works. Or for your first time use summoner so you can watch how the healer play.

This is my first MMO too, I started as monk but then discovered that I wanted to heal too.
Sometimes my confidence can be really low, so I avoided new dungeons as monk because I tended to tunnel vision and didn't know what was happening around me. I used to queue as bard so I could learn all the mechanics and put that knowledge on monk and white mage (I am weird, I know that).

When I joined my FC I was really shy and didn't talk at all.. Now I think I talk too much lol.
You just need to find a good group of friends that will help you.

[Judge_Xero]

Keep at it. I think getting used to the feeling of rejection in a comforting house setting away from actual people will help you overcome your anxiety of being social. Then you can probably work towards being comfortable and social in RL.
That worry of being rejected is probably the hardest thing to work out. Shouldn't take too long and you will be completely desensitized to it.

[Sakuraluna]

If you were on my server I'd help you! I'm currently leveling healer too so I know how stressful DF can be at times. Definitely look for a small casual FC to do dungeons with because, even with a dps caster class leveled in this game and years of healing experience in previous mmo I can tell you that it makes things immensely easier even just to have one trusted friend in party with you.

[PetiteMalFleur]

Sorry you had a bad experience. It can be frustrating when a party struggles through these dungeons for everyone. Just brush it off and keep practicing.

I noticed some of your jewelry is not class appropriate for healer. Jewelry can be equipped by any class and is not restricted like armors or weapons. Find jewelry that has mind on it and equip that. You can find new jewelry on the market board or asking a crafter. If it is too expensive you can run haukke Manor for level 28 jewelry or Cutters cry for level 38 jewelry. You can also farm leves--they drop a coffer that has gear you may be able to use. This will make healing much easier.

[ShaneDawn]

I would suggest finding a social FC with zero tolerance for bullying. It's sad that you had your dungeon experience ruined by jerks. If you're worried about entering dungeons, you could try reading a walkthrough to learn some of the mechanics beforehand.

I guess you are on Lich(?), I'm on the phone and can't see it atm. If you ever need help with something, you can ask me if I'm free at the time. I'd be glad to help out if needed.

IGN; Shannon Dawn

[Galen_Malchome]

If you are 25 or older and looking for a mature group of people that are willing to help new players check out http://www.theoldergamers.com

[matzoballed]

Sorry you had a bad experience. It can be frustrating when a party struggles through these dungeons for everyone. Just brush it off and keep practicing.

I noticed some of your jewelry is not class appropriate for healer. Jewelry can be equipped by any class and is not restricted like armors or weapons. Find jewelry that has mind on it and equip that. You can find new jewelry on the market board or asking a crafter. If it is too expensive you can run haukke Manor for level 28 jewelry or Cutters cry for level 38 jewelry. You can also farm leves--they drop a coffer that has gear you may be able to use. This will make healing much easier.

I never even thought of that - thank you

[matzoballed]

Wow you guys are just awesome

So much great advice I can actually use! I've been practising healing in lower level dungeons, and researching game mechanics so this will all help big time

ShaneDawn, I'll definitely be in touch