The day I learned I wasn't meant to lead.

[DubstepNinja]

Empathic leadership is a viable leadership style, depends on the situation really. in sports and social areas it is very successful and is usually the preferred style.

Not so in business where having professional relationships with people is of utmost importance.

[Iriadysa]

Empathic leadership is a viable leadership style, depends on the situation really. in sports and social areas it is very successful and is usually the preferred style.

Not so in business where having professional relationships with people is of utmost importance.

Empathy should never be a problem. When this happens, we lose our humanity.

I realize what you are trying to say and you are right. This is how the business world works and if you want to be a successful business person you better forfeit your humanity; the more you do it, the better chances of being successful. It's certainly not all cases though and there's some inspiring examples out there, but that's the problem: these are so rare they are inspiring, instead of the norm.

This is the root of many of society's problems and I suspect it's too late to go back. It may not even be possible, really. Perhaps we are artificially ensuring that in our future "empathy" is no longer a desirable trait.

[Eye_Gore]

I'm sorry I hope I didn't insult you, because it wasn't meant to be(not that your response implies that.)

No insult implied, one must also accept criticism. Sometimes its hard to get a view point across by typing, sometimes its left up to interpretation.

[LalaRu]

A lot depends on who leaves.
If some member that just joined a few days ago and you never seen say a word in chat, oh well, to see him leave doesn't hurts me a bit.
Then, in my FC ranks are used also to make a difference between who is helpful in any way and who plays the "lone wolf" style. The latter, when leaves, well, again not so much pain.
When the officer you trusted leaves to make its own FC and with him takes some valuable member, the only feeling is being backstabbed hard at first, but a relief at the end: better now than later, so I can make my FC go forward with less bad apples.

[Sandpark]

Integrity isn't about not getting hurt(pain), missing someone(love), or hard time letting go(obsession).
It is about having a set of beliefs and path to those beliefs and sticking to you guns regardless of what happens. It is good to cry or realize the nothing in life is permanent or unchanging.

Life is a journey full of sunshine and dark clouds. Joy and pain, light and dark, love and hate.

[Fendred]

I was doing an online course for a homeland security degree and one of the first things the course taught about was building teams. One of the important highlights was that groups almost always start out with unreasonable expectations of what can be accomplished, and the only way to get around that is to actually work with people to see what they can really do. In the case of an MMORPG guild/free company, you have to realize that many players might not stick around or be reliable.

The flip-side of that coin is don't play favorites, which is unfortunately difficult to do when the game has lockout content. In that case its best to show that the FC is dedicated to getting as many people who are interested in raiding into teams as possible, and to make sure that goal is plainly visible to members.

Also, as a side note, don't be that FC leader who says he is going to be streaming his t9 content like a celebrity. If you are doing that, at least say some other groups were requesting a live stream to see how to do it properly. Otherwise the streaming will rub people the wrong way (especially returning players who may not even be close to t9 yet).

If you are going to skip everything else I said in my post, here is the most important thing:

No one is a born leader. Leadership is a skill acquired via training and practice. You made an important first step in acknowledging that things didn't go out as planned (reality and expectations rarely match). Even if you choose not to continue being a FC leader, keep that lesson because it will save you in a future career.

[Kitfox]

I've played enough online games to know that people come and go. At some point having gone through multiple linkshell reformations and interations in FF 11 and 14, it felt natural to put up my own fort. I might also be more on the distanced side of leadership, and honestly it can be a lonely effort sometimes. It's good to have a few close people for your own sanity, but I don't think a leader should be close with everybody. Not everyone will like your little community, or you, and you can't force anyone to stay and shouldn't try either. Best thing you can do is wish them good luck. And if they were nice people, welcome them back should they ever want to return.

I don't get more invested in things than I'm ready to throw away, or simply enjoy doing for the moment. There was a time when I did everything for the guild. But when there's no echo back it feels like a wasted effort. You can't force anyone to do anything for you afterall. People do whatever they want to do. So over time I learned that it's also good to do things for yourself. And when I help others, it's because I want to help them. Not because I want something in return or want them to stay in the group or whatever. When you always do things because you want to do them, you rarely regret doing them. Even if other people leave or don't do anything for you. Guess you could call it living life true to yourself?

I expect nothing more from my members either. Everyone should find their own little happy place, and if I can't provide it, it's their right to go looking for it elsewhere.

[Teirshin]

Hats off to those of you that can lead a group of people, take the good with the bad, and keep forging onward. You're made of tougher stuff than I.

Tougher isnt always better.

You have a heart, and thats worth a lot, dont forget that.

[kyuven]

As others have said, it's not about being close or distant, but finding the balance.
It's...actually good advice for relationships in general. Nothing is going to be around forever, after all.
But at the same time don't be in a rush to lose a good thing or let opportunities slip through your fingers

[polyhedral]

I respect you OP, but understand, there are far many more people out there unfit to lead a FC that would never give up the privledges it comes along with, like having your own personal butt kissin click that helps you out every single day while the other 220 members of the FC get 0 help and 0 gear. Heck, the FC I just left were farming second coil i100 and i110 gear on their alts before helping out main characters even clear T5 in their own FC. I've seen this happening for over a month before I grew tired of it. And of course, they were all young kids who loved to talk smack about everyone else but themselves. I just sat on teamspeak listening for the last month, shaking my head. I kept asking myself, why am I even here around these immature self centered people? I guess it just was my laziness to blame for sticking around that drama that long.

They don't know...