This needs to stop !

[Yuki_Tokita]

No, this doesn’t need to be stopped. I think a lot of you are forgetting that this is a MMORPG. The tank has the most responsibilities; He leads the group, decides when to engage, and controls the pace of the run. They are responsible for the survival of the group, so the tank should always get the last say so in how to run a dungeon rather his pug likes it or not. Tanks are already stressed out enough by their jobs. If they don’t want to honor one of your requests, please stop demanding that they play the way you want them to. They are not obligated to help you do anything.

Eventually I got fed up and told him I refused to heal him

The exact same thing happened to me as well. Halfway through Brayflox I get blackmailed with no heals by my pug. Apparently some noob on their FC wanted to complete their Infantry set. After putting up with their harassment we get to the third boss fight. I tanked Aiatar so that I was right outside the lockout zone while the boss was inside of the lockout line. I get myself locked out and watch as my entire team gets curb stumped by Aiatar. That’s how tanks should deal with these kind of people, they are annoying to no end.

[ThirdChild_ZKI]

They are responsible for the survival of the group, so the tank should always get the last say so in how to run a dungeon rather his pug likes it or not.

Yeah. . . I offered to help 2 FC mates run Brayflox HM (I don't like running it, and since I'm not trying to get an Animus/Novus weapon, I have no need to speed run it), and upon entering, I - the tank - told the one random person with us "FYI, this won't be a speed run.". . . He proceeds to have a problem with it and say "this dungeon is for speed-running" and "you're a troll". I respond with, "If you wanted to SR, I understand and no hard feelings if you want to leave, but I'm NOT going to speed run this."

After getting into it with the 1 out of 4 party members who actually WANTED to speed run, it got so bothersome that I myself decided to leave. And remember, I was the tank this time.

. . .So what was that part about the tank controlling the pace of the run? Because clearly, that didn't seem to fly. And to be honest, I wouldn't expect it to. That pretty much played out like I thought it would.

Also, I'm calling BS on the "Tanks are already stressed out about their jobs". First off, if tanking stresses someone out, they probably shouldn't be a tank. Hell, if playing a game stresses you out, then you're simply forgetting the entire reason people play games - to have FUN. To kill the rebuttal now: I started as a tank. It got boring fast. I DPS and heal, and find it more fun. More engaging. I'll still tank every now and then, and I personally throw myself at harder content, so don't assume fun = "he must be a casual". Not in the least.

Beyond that, and ESPECIALLY since I am/was a tank, I challenge this sense of grandeur and near-dictatorship some tanks have. I said it before and I'll say it again: Shields, axes, and armor don't make a tank. The mindset to protect your TEAM, mitigate threats, and adapt to the situation is what makes a tank.

You may lead, but any leader that disregards his team in favor of his own whims or thinks himself greater than the whole won't be a leader or keep a team very long.

[Poringing]

A lot of misconceptions regarding party dynamics found in this thread; let's clear this up:

Tank
Has near total control regarding maximum pace of the party, but very little control over minimum pace of the party.
The tank decides whether this will be a speed run or not, and how extreme the speed run is.
However, the tank's damage output is low, usually <1/6 a good party's total output.

Healer
Has most of the control regarding minimum pace of the party, and also some control over the maximum pace of the party.
If the healer does put out damage, this will be a fast run, regardless of the other party members. (Note: Since dungeons are designed with 0 healer damage output, healer's damage output is very significant when others aren't doing a lot of damage)
Also, a lot of content just cannot be done without a co-operative healer. On the other hand, a geared and experienced healer can cover for the tank for all 4-man content.

DPS
Has some control over both maximum and minumum pace of the party.
Even if both the attackers are very good at what they do, they are limited by the tank actually deciding to speed run or not; and if they are not that good, an attacking healer can sort of cover for them.

It's pretty obvious who has the most control over the party here: The healer. Seriously, they can hold the party hostage anytime. It will be completely impossible to do anything if there are no other casters in the party (BLM and SMN).

So, why are tanks given the role to lead the party? Respect. Simple as that. Everyone's answer to this thread can be boiled down to this, "Do you respect the tradition that dictates tanks lead?"

Personally:
I always run healer for low level roulettes: Control minimum pace.
While I always get into a party of 2 (preferably tank and healer) for high level roulettes. Fun fact: By running high level roulettes in a party of 2 (or 3), you have absolute control over the party (you want to /manderville for a full minute after every successful kill, you got it). Just fire the vote kick first and you'll definately have your way (in a group of 3, you can even torture all the people who joined in-progress). Pretty disturbing, huh?

[Sapphic]

Tanks are already stressed out enough by their jobs. If they don’t want to honor one of your requests, please stop demanding that they play the way you want them to. They are not obligated to help you do anything.

Don't know what game you're playing, but tanking in FFXIV stressful? lol, newp. Tanked everything as WAR and PLD outside second coil, and tanking is, in most fights, the easiest role. Even our main tank in SCoB jokes that they have the easiest role in t6-8 (we havnt done 9 yet so no comment on that).

Tanking stressfull in FFXIV? Far from it.

[Worm]

The tank has the most responsibilities; He leads the group, decides when to engage, and controls the pace of the run. They are responsible for the survival of the group, so the tank should always get the last say so in how to run a dungeon rather his pug likes it or not. Tanks are already stressed out enough by their jobs. If they don’t want to honor one of your requests, please stop demanding that they play the way you want them to. They are not obligated to help you do anything.

This attitude. I tanked a long time in WoW and let me say tanks usually have one of the easiest jobs. It only becomes hard when they're the defacto raid leader/caller/coach/babysitter because the job is generally that braindead the tank is usually given as many extra roles as possible since the healers and DPS generally have to concentrate.

It becomes hard when you're trying to have raid-wide vision, while watching timers, and rotating your own cooldowns. Beyond that the job doesn't get any more complex between pressing your personal CDs at the right time, maintaining threat, and moving out of a few cones.

Sometimes if you have to kite, manage some mechanic, or pick up a lot of mobs it can be pretty stressful, but typical dungeon face roll stuff? I dunno. We are going to have people doing sub 4 minute Brayflox myth runs once they get geared in the next patch, there's nothing hard about that content.

[CheshirePuss]

No, this doesn’t need to be stopped. I think a lot of you are forgetting that this is a MMORPG. The tank has the most responsibilities; He leads the group, decides when to engage, and controls the pace of the run. They are responsible for the survival of the group, so the tank should always get the last say so in how to run a dungeon rather his pug likes it or not. Tanks are already stressed out enough by their jobs. If they don’t want to honor one of your requests, please stop demanding that they play the way you want them to. They are not obligated to help you do anything.

Say what you will, but if a tank wants to act like they're the only member of a 4 person party that has the intention of running that dungeon for a reason, then they may as well have not started playing an MMO to begin with. It entirely defeats the purpose of it being a party. Not up for that hierarchy bullcrap.

[Sassi666]

The tank has the most responsibilities; He leads the group, decides when to engage, and controls the pace of the run. They are responsible for the survival of the group, so the tank should always get the last say so in how to run a dungeon rather his pug likes it or not.

The exact same thing happened to me as well. Halfway through Brayflox I get blackmailed with no heals by my pug..

So it's OK to blackmail a group if you're the tank but not if you're the healer lol
also no the tank isn't the most important member of the group, they just think they are. See how you go without heals....I've finished runs with no tank with a summoner using an egi or a dragoon tanking but you can't finish a run without any heals - and no I'm not a healer :P