Since you played XI, you probably know why this community changed to such a "mean" one. As easier a game is, the more Elitists will Pop up, while XI is/was a real timesink MMO, which took Ages to complete something it also gave "slower" Players more time to envolve, i also have to mention that Long time ago, YouTube Videos and stuff wasnt the hit and no1 really cared about strategys because Boss Encounters had RNG's and every Group had to find their own way to beat a Boss and everytime you made a new atempt on a Boss he acts different (talking about XI). Ill add here an example from the beginning of ARR and the first weeks after release.

1 Week, 1 Job in 50
2 Week, more Jobs on 50 and 1 Full Set of Darklight
in the 3 Week the first Relics were finished it with the end of the 3 Week we already had the wanna be elistis they only shout for experience People with Relic/DL and you should know the fight even before you atempt him already.

This is basicly my opinion why this Community became so toxic.