Post Your Healing Horror Stories.

[Wadoka]

My highest level is PLD37 and I too came over here to see "what not to do" as the tank role - because being a Paladin, is y'know, a calling, a vocation...

I'm a deliberate, conservative type; I'm never going to be the person you call on, for speed runs. My healer horror stories are all one kind: healers (and anyone else who can do ranged DD) who forget my maximum range on Shield Lob is 15 yalms; or who just don't CARE - and start firing off ranged attacks over my head before I can get to the mobs and gather them in.

Then I get to hear the ZING as all the enmity lines arc over my head, converging on the impatient damage-dealer, and watch as the mobs run right past me to get to their tasty treat. Then I have to go into flurry/panic mode flashy-flashy-flashy stabbity stabbity stab to get the mob back.

I have a routine for DF now; I start every (low-level, 4-person) run with the spiel "Everyone PLEASE don't do *anything* until you see me Shield Lob and Flash..."

[Empressia]

I just recently carried a crazy group with my whm at titan hm. The thing is i always ran out of mp even shroud and elixirs just doesn't cut it esp with a freaking retarded bard that never ever cast ballad and she sucks real hard like dying 4 times (dun mention the other sch who sux at healing) . Oh my heart dropped to the floor and smashed into bits is the correct term to describe my desperation during the run

[Raestloz]

So I was in Titan HM

I'm a WHM and there's an SCH. The SCH lags so bad evading Weight of the Land is out of question, so by the heart phase, I'm alone. Couple that with a few other people getting bombed by the rocks and my MP is draining fast, even with frequent use of SoS.

And we have this BRD, yeah? Got Ifrit's bow on him. Remember that detail, it's gonna be important. So I was like, you know, the job is freaking named BARD. Not poet, not novelist, but BARD. And Bards SING. So I thought he'll do what bards do: sing.

Nope. Not even a single melody. Foe's Requiem? None. Army's Paeon? No. Mage's Ballad? You get the idea.

So at phase 5, I'm out of MP trying to keep everyone from dying from Tumult, and we wiped because I lost all of my MP.

So I said, "bard, please use Mage's Ballad", and he said "OK". He speaks English, that's for sure.

Still no Ballad. So I had to type to ask him to use it mid-battle in phase 5 during the 3 row bombs and the bombs exploded right before I press Enter.

So I literally BEGGED him to use Ballad. Seriously. Someone find the chat log. I pleaded him to use it, this is not a joke. When the healer has to beg the Bard to use Ballad, you know something's up.

And he said "OK..."


"...but only for phase 3"

You may have noticed that he said the words "only" and "phase 3" in the same phrase, and he doesn't say anything about phase 5. And even then he STILL won't use Ballad. I can't go on without Ballad, I'm the only healer around, and this is not a party with godlike internet connection, someone's bound to be hit by something.

In the end, the BLM of our party rage quits. Our tank screamed at his ears about Ballad and L2P, and he countered with a diamond:

"I never had to use Ballad in Titan"

And our tank countered with "Yeah, that's why you're stuck with Ifrit's bow and not Artemis. L2P and stop with the FATE academy".

The best part is the fact that he actually acted like he knows stuff. The SCH asked how to evade Weight of the Land, so the BRD said "Weight of the Land targets units with the highest enmity. You're healer, your enmity is high". You may have noticed that tanks actually have the highest enmity in Titan to keep him from table flipping the entire party, so at that point, I just ragequit too.



Seriously, someone do something about FATE academy, it's killing me, and the entire party

[Volxima]

words

It's not uncommon to see "Phase 3" refer to post-heart; presumably because people lump everything pre-heart into one phase.

[Strawberrycream]

So, I have finally gotten on to the forums to post in this thread. I have a story that have been waiting since the beginning to be told for everyone's amusement.

First story is a Hydra story. This is back when almost the entire party was trying to kill it with pre-relics, so no one was geared. I was on my White Mage as well as the other healer. Our first few pulls were spent explaining to the tanks that they needed to stack and move together, and to avoid the healing debuff at all costs. Well, our next pull resulted in both tanks getting the debuff again, and then dodging in different directions. One tank goes down and we raise him, just in time for the other tank to go down. Hydra went ballistic and ate half the party before the tank recovered the boss. Instead of calling it a wipe, though, me and the other healer determinedly powered through it. (Thank goodness for a bard who popped ballad every chance they could). By the time we finally had everyone up, both tanks were on the brink of death and still clipping that heal debuff. At least they were polite enough to alternate who got the debuff ^_^. I don't know how the other healer and I managed to keep them up after that, but we actually managed to kill Hydra that pull. I think it was a combination of that bard and curing with reckless abandon as we lived from shroud to shroud spamming Cure II and III to try to keep our double weakness, debuffed tanks alive. Lots of fun.

Next stories are after I had switched to Scholar main to compliment my awesome White Mage co-healer.

First is actually a Wanderer's Palace run. A linkshell tank asked for a dps and healer, so my husband (Black Mage) and I joined. Everything was great, and then we got to the last boss. It was decided that since my husband was better geared he would stay on the boss while the other Black Mage would kill adds. Our tank pulls, and then dc's about two seconds later. At first we thought he was lagging, so my husband brought the boss to the middle of the room and continued to nuke hard as we waited for the tank. Meanwhile, the other Black Mage is killing adds with reckless abandon (remember that). By the time the tank returns, the boss is about 1/4 health left. And he never did recover the boss from my husband. I have to say, healing a Black Mage through Everybody's Grudge was interesting. Especially since I had been running with Selene and didn't have Eos's heal potency increase. Luckily he popped his cooldowns at the higher stacks (other Black Mage didn't even try to balance out the tonberry stacks so we had max stacks several times). That was stressful and fun. I was starting to live from aetherflow to aetherflow near the end as I constantly spammed heals and tried to buff and debuff the entire time.

Another story isn't that exciting. Just duty findered a HM Garuda group that didn't manage to kill the second sister once. Went through 8 phases of sisters without ever having the second one dead. Luckily everyone knew what they were doing. The dps was just a little weak.

And final story. Learning the snake in Turn 1. This is a healer awesome from my co-healer. We were trying to power through stacks with our tanks still learning when to pop cooldowns. Well, one tanks dies at six or so stacks. The snake merges with just a sliver of health left, but promptly munches the second tank. Everyone spreads out and nukes like crazy as we try to kill it. Our White Mage is left standing throws on an Aero as he tries to kite, but goes down. And then the boss dies from the Aero tick right after words and we get the message that we had cleared Turn 1. Now our joke for every wipe is that the healers have the responsibility to live and kill the boss to show everyone how it's done. :P

[Swear_Bear]

So, I have finally gotten on to the forums to post in this thread. I have some stories that have been waiting since the beginning to be told for everyone's amusement.

Now to edit since I think it will go over the post limit.

[Strawberrycream]

Lol. I certainly hope it is. I like the stories. But perhaps I'm biased. :P

[RocketUnderwear]

Was running brayflox's, and yes, this is another tank story, the tank didn't use any threat mechanic. No flash, no provoke, no nothing. After the second pull we told him to use flash. He did, he did it a lot, especially when all the mobs ran away from him and ware graciously introducing my face to the dirt. On the surprising occasion when he did manage to hold them I blew all my mana on keeping him alive because he wouldn't use any cooldowns till the last mob in the pack was left standing.
Thou I did laugh quite a bit when he ran into the middle of 3 mobs and started spamming flash and failed to notice that they ware out of range

[Malendroit]

Running WP with an undergeared tank. Tank attempts to speed run. Dies on first group (running past beetles). Attempts again (made it through first 2 pulls with little MP and quite the struggle healing, tank wasn't keeping hate well and mobs were all over everyone). Make it through first boss with one DPS dying due to no one dodging AoE's (keep in mind, I am very experienced here and rarely have people wipe on WP). Tank continues speed run tactic after first boss and runs to door without using CD's. Tank dies, due to my heals not hitting fast enough. I get blamed. I leave.

I would have told him to stop attempting to speed run, but I was too distraught at how they attacked me. Worst experience.

[Ashira]

Odin.

During Odin you're not so much a healer, but a raiser.