The problem is probably that you are joining the wrong runs. If you want a garuda kill for your relic, you either DF or join a run specifically that says Garuda kill. If you join a garuda farming speedrun, you should expect them to expect you to produce speed run numbers. Its not being elitist, its wanting to do the battle several times as fast as possible.

Sure, gear doesnt replace skill, but skill alone has limitations based on gear. sure, you will find people highly geared that have no idea how to play, but you wont find anyone in low level gear clearing garuda in 4 minutes. You wouldnt want a person with no arms drag racing would you? sure they can drive with their feet, but they arent hitting 200mph (i hope)