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  1. #41
    Player
    Blindfate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    GA
    Posts
    41
    Character
    Windy Breezy
    World
    Brynhildr
    Main Class
    Alchemist Lv 90
    I see no issue with turning down an offer for help. If I wanted help/advice, I'd ask for it.

    Call me a toxic player, but I genuinely think OP was being a bit pushy.
    (1)

  2. #42
    Player
    TrickedOutHoro's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    119
    Character
    Zephyr Winds
    World
    Midgardsormr
    Main Class
    Pugilist Lv 60
    I'm always open to explain things anytime someone asks, though i'm also the type to give people the benefit of the doubt until I notice something is going poorly, then i'll chime in. Can't say i've ever heard of someone turning down an offer of an explanation/help, but I have witnessed multiple instances of flat out refusal to listen/change tactics.
    (0)

  3. #43
    Player
    Panthan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    53
    Character
    Panthan Fairheart
    World
    Adamantoise
    Main Class
    Lancer Lv 50
    Quote Originally Posted by Welsper59 View Post
    Doesn't really change the fact that they're out there though, which makes it sort of a gamble to whether you encounter them and how frequently it happens.

    [snip, due character limit]

    Personally, the majority of people I've met don't mind new players. Most of the time, we lead in with "anyone new here?" and if no answer, then we go with "it's important to know what to do for this fight that's why". It usually works out.
    You are right, they do exist, but in my personal experiance its rare/uncommon and most of the time most of the time a reaction towards the new guy trowing an tantum, doesnt make it right though, but like I stated before, its all about how you present yourself, as new or experianced guy.
    (0)
    You dont like the way I do my job? I dont give a damn what you like, any of you.
    If you are still alive and lance slinging a few years down the road,
    and lucky enough to watch your family grow as you honor your oath.
    Then you'll understand..
    But getting old in my guild is a privilege.
    We die so innocents dont, its that simple.
    Once you pick up the lance, the life you lived stops being your own.

  4. #44
    Player Bizniztyme's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    343
    Character
    Solo Playa
    World
    Hyperion
    Main Class
    Botanist Lv 50
    I tend to run into people where they are nice at first, try to explain everything to you, you do your best to listen but when you make mistakes, (i'm sure it happens to everyone and i'm not as skilled as most people ), boy do the claws come out. lol
    (0)
    Last edited by Bizniztyme; 09-27-2013 at 04:46 AM.

  5. #45
    Player
    Bossycow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    39
    Character
    Axl Foley
    World
    Midgardsormr
    Main Class
    Arcanist Lv 50
    It seems like you were badgering him from the start, just simply because he walked into the zone with low level gear... You're probably glamorizing the way you were harassing him (or at least babying him), and you didn't actually "offer help," either. Eh, guess that's how I'd interpret getting drilled with questions like that from the start. Maybe you were a kind, gentle soul as you're presenting yourself on the OP, but I guess I'm not convinced.
    (0)

  6. #46
    Player
    Delorean's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    714
    Character
    Altani Dotharl
    World
    Diabolos
    Main Class
    Marauder Lv 60
    Quote Originally Posted by Nanga View Post
    I hope toxic players like these all disappear soon.
    what is toxic, does it even have a clear definition? because it seems about as subjective as racism is nowadays.

    the person left your group, they did not call you a giant doodoohead and then threaten to take the life of your firstborn and devour it's heart.

    Were they polite? not really! were they extremely discourteous, spewing vitriol and just downright unnecessarily vulgar? did they attempt to pull a bunch of other trash to wipe your group? not that i know of unless you forgot to mention it!
    (0)

  7. #47
    Player
    HurtigeKarl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    151
    Character
    Karl Hurtig
    World
    Phoenix
    Main Class
    Lancer Lv 50
    Quote Originally Posted by Nanga View Post
    Asking someone if they are new is giving the third degree? Some people are extremely sensitive I guess. But I digress. I suppose that answers what was going on in their head.

    Social skills, you got to learn them. Don't blame your ineptitude on someone else.
    (0)

  8. #48
    Player
    nekochen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    127
    Character
    Karin Shironeko
    World
    Behemoth
    Main Class
    Conjurer Lv 50
    Quote Originally Posted by Dorin View Post
    Would've been different if you typed something like "Hey man are you new? If you are I can explain you how bosses work, if you want ".
    It's all about that SmileyFace !!!!
    (0)

  9. #49
    Player
    Panthan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    53
    Character
    Panthan Fairheart
    World
    Adamantoise
    Main Class
    Lancer Lv 50
    Quote Originally Posted by HurtigeKarl View Post
    Social skills, you got to learn them. Don't blame your ineptitude on someone else.
    Speaking in ineptitude,we where not there, we dont know how it was asked, nor do we know the entire conversation(s) that expired.
    Its better not to asume either way.
    Its not unthinkeble the new guy was.. the rude one nor is it unthinkeble he expected to be caried and blaming everyone else but himself that he did not get caried. Not saying that was the case, but its definately not unthinkeble.
    New people are atleast as rude and as often as more seasoned players.
    (0)
    You dont like the way I do my job? I dont give a damn what you like, any of you.
    If you are still alive and lance slinging a few years down the road,
    and lucky enough to watch your family grow as you honor your oath.
    Then you'll understand..
    But getting old in my guild is a privilege.
    We die so innocents dont, its that simple.
    Once you pick up the lance, the life you lived stops being your own.

  10. #50
    Player
    Nanga's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    214
    Character
    Rite Neow
    World
    Adamantoise
    Main Class
    Leatherworker Lv 60
    Quote Originally Posted by Bossycow View Post
    It seems like you were badgering him from the start, just simply because he walked into the zone with low level gear... You're probably glamorizing the way you were harassing him (or at least babying him), and you didn't actually "offer help," either. Eh, guess that's how I'd interpret getting drilled with questions like that from the start. Maybe you were a kind, gentle soul as you're presenting yourself on the OP, but I guess I'm not convinced.
    I'm not following really. What's in it for me to change what was said? I didn't put any names out there except for my own, so I wasn't trying to publicly humiliate anyone - unless you're saying I wanted to humiliate myself, in which case, according to what you say, I succeeded? So I say again, I have nothing to gain from trying to glamorize anything, and everything to lose from it. I think it's probably best to just take it at face value and realize you were given a word-for-word exchange.

    Something else I've read here that I'm not fully aware of, I suppose, is maybe the social or cultural differences that require "mad dog" treatment before offering help. By this I mean, before offering to genuinely help someone, you must first approach them as though they are a rabid, mangy, wild dog, with blood dripping from its mouth and a half-eaten human arm laying at its feet. This dog is also bleeding from one leg and needs help or it will die. If one does not pay specially close attention to using a sing-songy voice, gentle and cuddly words, and slow petting strokes while offering a cuddly squeaky toy before attempting to help the dog, that person should expect to be attacked and bitten by the dog which is only protecting itself.

    I would think as advanced, intelligent human beings who use simple words that have simple meaning, we do not need to treat each other as a "mad dog" before trying to help them. We just merely need to ask if they are new, which answers the question to if they need help.

    Of course, being a solely English-speaking player on the Japanese server group, many of us have learned to just use the very simplest of words and questions to convey a thought, question, or expression, in cases of the language barrier preventing us from communicating. Had I treated the other player as potentially hostile, not only would I feel like I was treating them like a mad dog, but the effort could very likely be lost in translation altogether. The in-game auto-translator does not convey complex thoughts that express a positive "feeling" when asking a question. It just simply asks the question straight up. Is this where people are confused into thinking not enough effort was given to convey a positive feeling behind the first question? Food for thought, folks.
    (1)
    Last edited by Nanga; 09-27-2013 at 06:51 AM.

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