Having played on both the NA and JP servers I can say that 100ms of extra latency makes a big difference when trying to get away from AOE's. Noticeable even on junk mobs when leveling Archer.

For the OP your best bet is to re-roll or migrate (when you're able) to a JP server.

I'm currently on Tiamat and Oceania (guildworks) have set up an FC on there. As mentioned Tonberry is another one with a healthy Oceania population, and I think Typon has a decent Oceania playerbase.