Basic Etiquette tips for people new to FFXIV (or MMOs in general)

[Mjollnir]

My mom has always taught me to "kill others with kindness" so I try to approach every situation with that in mind

You are the most ridiculously positive person I have ever seen post on these forums... perhaps the entire internet! lol

[AmyNeudaiz]

^_^ Hi guys!

I learned a lot in my first years playing MMOs. Sadly, I had a lot of negative experiences, some of them self-inflicted. So I decided to make a guide based on what I learned, that's focussed mainly on what a person can do to make his or her experience in the world more pleasant for themselves and others.

Please read and comment.

Hiir's Guide

This is a really good post and I appreciate the part you mentioned disabled players. A good friend of mine was disabled and couldn't use one of her hands very well and ended up quitting because people weren't very kind about her in parties.

[HiirNoivl]

This is a really good post and I appreciate the part you mentioned disabled players. A good friend of mine was disabled and couldn't use one of her hands very well and ended up quitting because people weren't very kind about her in parties.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Hopefully, if she comes back people will be more patient.

Someone asked me earlier, how being self absorbed causes drama.

This comedian talks about the Me Monster observe at 0:44 how that made him feel. This is pre-drama resentment.

[Punainen]

Great guide. I just wish it recommended teaching inexperienced people the ropes. I know this is a guide mostly for 'new' players, but sometimes even new players know more than even newer players.

I've been in a lot of parties where I was kicked after the first wipe because no one wanted to tell me how the content was supposed to go. There's guides...but written words and screenshots or poorly drawn maps will never be equal to real first hand experience.

[MithrasInvictus]

You sound like a good person to be a comrade of! This was great, and well done to you. If I had to disagree with something, I would have to say that something like "You've got to help out! We've been waiting for an hour!" isn't bullying by any stretch of the imagination. I would call it "cajoling," or "appealing to pity," if anything; someone using an imperative tone, and reinforcing it by voicing their own grievance with the situation, may not be acting terribly polite, but bullying it is not.

[MithrasInvictus]

I do not believe it right to presume that I understand someone else's intent by what they say or how they act, so I almost always forgive them for their slights and let it go. To me, this feels like the appropriate action to take. Of course, this way of thinking and acting leads to its own set of problems.

Amen to that!

[Hestern_Nestern]

Great guide. I just wish it recommended teaching inexperienced people the ropes. I know this is a guide mostly for 'new' players, but sometimes even new players know more than even newer players.

I've been in a lot of parties where I was kicked after the first wipe because no one wanted to tell me how the content was supposed to go. There's guides...but written words and screenshots or poorly drawn maps will never be equal to real first hand experience.

This is a blessed addendum, Punainen. I agree. ^_^ One-on-one conversations are a lot more personal than handing over google search parameters and saying a trite, "good luck". I would much rather learn from someone in my party, my ls, my fc, my friends list, or anywhere in the game at all, then to be told, "educate yourself" and then to be sent away with angry eyes eager for my departure.

@MithrasInvictus You are right. The situation(s) mentioned in the article ("You got to help! We've been waiting for an hour!") is not bullying. With this so affirmed, I have personally been the victim of someone turning appeal to pity into a bullying technique. Repeated offences have the potential to become emotional extortion; is that what you meant to convey, kind lalalady, Hiir?

@AmyNeudaiz Is there any way to convince your dear friend to return? I would be more than happy to party with the lass. I am saddened that others were not understanding. Even if someone is fully mobile, we as human beings have no need of harsh words and even harsher actions. What good does being a meanie-face-y do for anyone (of course, we all will be mean at some point or another, but we all must forgive ourselves at some point, too)? It is important that we welcome all kinds and have patience for all sorts. If one does not have the time to be polite, how does one have the time to play a game? I am looking forward to seeing more helpful advice in the coming days from other posters, too!

Pray, forgive me for any illogical incongruities within this post, or any poorly formulated opinions.

[Wolfandre]

I like your preemptive approach, Hiir. Well done.

Can I be next to add something? Role-players.

I don't fall along this category, but I have a few RL friends that do (they don't use the forums, but read your guide and asked me to pipe up for them). They have to resort to private conversations or avoiding populated areas rather than making the world their own. This is due to comments others make complaining about them when they've done nothing wrong but play the game the way they want to play it. This is all kinds of wrong, in my opinion, and I feel for them.

They won't bug you, so don't bug them if you don't intend on joining in.

This goes along the multiple points of respect you bring up, but calling attention to it specifically will help people be more....tolerant? Accepting? Awh, heck with it. Stop spoiling other people's fun!

[XenoSamurai]

Good job Hiir, I like this a lot

[HiirNoivl]

You sound like a good person to be a comrade of! This was great, and well done to you. If I had to disagree with something, I would have to say that something like "You've got to help out! We've been waiting for an hour!" isn't bullying by any stretch of the imagination. I would call it "cajoling," or "appealing to pity," if anything; someone using an imperative tone, and reinforcing it by voicing their own grievance with the situation, may not be acting terribly polite, but bullying it is not.

I will have to disagree with you. When someone has a lot of physical strength, holding someone upside down and shaking them for their lunch money is easily identifiable bullying. However, you'll see kids try to do the same thing to their parents when they don't get the answer they want.

"Come on! This party means everything!" (Unspoken threat: You, the parent, don't want my life to be devoid of meaning do you?) "If you don't let me go to the mall, I'll hate you forever!" (Spoken threat.) "Waaaah! *burst into tears* *slam the door* YOU'RE the WORST PARENT EVER." (Guilt tripping).

On the Internet, people cannot hold a gun to your head and make you do anything, so you'll see people try to bully others with the same tactic. "If the devs don't do this thing I want, I'm going to quit!"

It is bullying. Once someone says no, that needs to be respected. And they should find someone else. They don't have to help right this second. Quit trying to MAKE them.

P.S. I actually put this on my guide in a footnote. Begging for help too much usually means the FC you're in is not the right fit for you. If your FC consistently refuses to help, check with the leadership. You may be too far behind or ahead of them "progression wise". And even if you're on the same level as your FC, a non-helpful FC is an exercise in futility and it may be time to Part Ways amicably rather than pester more..

Great guide. I just wish it recommended teaching inexperienced people the ropes. I know this is a guide mostly for 'new' players, but sometimes even new players know more than even newer players.

I think this falls under "Don't ignore someone when they ask a question." But I did type up an experience I had on the server about Party Play to show that helping someone learn doesn't necessarily have to take a whole lot of time, or explanations.

I like your preemptive approach, Hiir. Well done.

Can I be next to add something? Role-players.

I don't fall along this category, but I have a few RL friends that do (they don't use the forums, but read your guide and asked me to pipe up for them). They have to resort to private conversations or avoiding populated areas rather than making the world their own. This is due to comments others make complaining about them when they've done nothing wrong but play the game the way they want to play it. This is all kinds of wrong, in my opinion, and I feel for them.

They won't bug you, so don't bug them if you don't intend on joining in.

This goes along the multiple points of respect you bring up, but calling attention to it specifically will help people be more....tolerant? Accepting? Awh, heck with it. Stop spoiling other people's fun!

I enjoyed the RP on the Balmung Server even though I only got my toes wet in it. However, some people have different rules than others...

How about I write up a brief explanation of what RP play is and how not to interrupt or join... Everyone has different rules on how to play, so it's best to ask before joining an RP conversation. (Falls under "Excuse me...")