:: the story

[Randis]

I started in gridania...

I was walking around in the forest without aim when 2 guys felt down from the sky.
Some blind chick and a lalafel... Both were wearing high-level gear but were total noobs so i (lv1) had to protect them from some wolfs...
Then the tree from LOTR came and ate the wolfs and we all ran away... i can not remember the details but i remember that the camera was pointing at the chicks ass all the time.
Then some moogles came and rescued us.... there was also a unicorn kid with some masked dudes in leather outfits... i first thought they were the bad guys but they all were just the local tree hugger.

They took us to a village and told me that i caught some sort of STD in the forest and needed cleansing... Then they made me hang around with kids... one quest after another... it was somewhat awkward because i am a 30+ years old dude...
I had to pretend to be a friend of a lil girl and i had to stalk a group of kids. All quests were focused on children and everyone was talking to me like i was special... that kind of 'special' you know...
For some reason my character never speaks, i only can nod... maybe that is why they think i am special... who knows...
i never talk and i never smile, my face suggests botox abuse but, its ok, cloud was the same!

(Gridania is a nice place, it’s basically a huge shopping mall in a forest. They have no living area there, just shops, guilds and a bar. I first thought it was weird right? But later I noticed that all shops are open 24 h (like 7 Eleven), no one ever sleeps so of course there is no need for housing… )

One day finally i was send to Uldah! I was excited! i left the city but there were no signs so i figured i should simply follow the road and so i did... i walked west, i walked and walked and walked and walked, i felt like going in circles because i kept seeing the same terrain but that was just an illusion... i crossed some bridges and then FINALLY i reached a huge gate! and.. it was closed? W T F
I spoke to the unfriendly soldiers but they were no help... That is when i realized that i might have picked the wrong path...
So i walked back... i walked and walked and eventually after 30 minute i reached Uldah! YES!
(Uldah is awesome, they even have professional bargirls in the miner guild)

I spoke with the chick who looks like Aerith, she was friendly and also some sort of a tree hugger i think. I have seen some flying salad people too!
She confirmed that i was special and told me that there were others... and that they were following the path of the 12 or something but i think she lied to me because i know for sure that she tells that to every adventurer.

From what i gathered there is some evil empire...
It seems that the empire is killing some salad people and beast-men and chopping some trees... i was excited!
Climbing ranks things got more and more lax, by the time i reached R50 i am sure i killed more beast men and salad people than the empire...
oh and I have a path companion too! they always send us together, my companion does the talking and i just nod but in the end we usually kill everyone anyway...
Oh and in Gridania, there is a Lalafel who is merried to a salad chick.... yes i know...
(I had to think of americal pie, but with salad instead of the pie... )
i am not sure how many hours i did spend but so far the story is:

I am with the tree hugger and there is a evil empire who wants to kill salad people.


How was the story in Uldah and LL?