Tell me stories when a mentor hurt you.

[Astronis]

I have no problem with mentors in general. I am one, though I only have the crown on in Mentor Roulette because it forces it, and I don't use Novice Network because global chats in MMOs give me hives. I like the chaos of Mentor Roulette and unless something comes up, I'll stay in those doomed Ramuh EX runs with five sprouts who didn't realize what they were queuing up for.

BUT, you requested a story about bad mentors, so here's one: Not too long ago, I was in Alphascape V3.0, the one with the infamous Larboard and Starboard. There was a mentor there who, after the party wiped a couple times because that fight can be a bit of a butt for new players, decided to just sit dead on the ground and refused four rezzes. Didn't say a word, but apparently felt that grieving the raid after we were already having enough trouble was a good idea. Or, maybe, they ran off because their dog barfed and they didn't say "afk" in chat or something, who knows...the upshot for the other seven of us was, of course, that we wiped again because this mentor sat on the ground dead the entire time instead of contributing DPS.

I can understand people getting a bad impression if they run into mentors like that with any frequency.

[Raraka]

To reply to OP's Title, I do have one very, VERY bad experience with a certified mentor moment

This was on the shadowbringers downtime leading to endwalker. I was a fresh sprout around MSQ lvl 30 or so, mostly as arcanist, at the time I decided I wanted to try tanking, and unlocked marauder, got it to 15, and queued into Satasha

I explicitly stated in chat "This is my first time tanking, I would appreciate it if you let me get my grip on it"

And then the shitfest happened

Dps mentor pulled ahead every pull, whm crafter mentor encouraging them and healing them instead of me, I was srambling to catch up and try to gain aggro

And when I asked if they could stop pulling for me (after the second boss), the healer said, and I quote, "Shut up and play r***rd"

At the time I very much considered quitting, but in my 7k hours playing, that is the only negative experience I have had with other players to such degree

And yes, I did fill a report, and thats why I checked back on it to retell the events as I narrated back then. Not showing names for obvious reasons, but I hope this is the kind of experience OP was looking for

[PercibelTheren]

I have no strong opinions on mentors as a whole, I just know NN on Zodiark was an absolute garbage fire when I was new. It was full of veteran players arguing about PvP balance and I saw, multiple times, new players get told off for "interrupting the conversation" when they asked about things. And that was outside the many times it was being used as German general chat. Asking people to maybe use English when the majority of the server doesn't speak German only made them angry. I think I stayed in NN for all of two weeks and it was actively harmful to my experience of the game.

Outside of that, I only notice mentors if something mildly funny happens, like a Perfect Legend mentor getting too cocky, overpulling in a low level dungeon and dropping dead. In those cases, I think something like "oh hey, it's nice to see we all make the same mistakes" and I forget about it the next day.

[Valence]

I'm a mentor, and for awhile I wore the crown because I like being helpful and wanted to see if I could overcome the negative stigma associated with mentors. But eventually, I took off the crown (naturally I continue to be helpful and kind).

Not every mentor has left a bad taste in my mouth; in fact, most haven't. But in the rare circumstances that someone is aggressive or demanding or impatient, it does feel like a disproportionate amount of the time there's a crown over their head. To be fair, it could be that there's some confirmation bias at work there, but the impression sticks.

The worst, though, is the Novice Network. Every time I've gone in there since I got my crown, there are always mentors doing things like chastising players for not playing in the ways they feel are optimal, or kicking players out of the chat when they have tame and reasonable disagreements on subjective matters. And thus, Novice Network, one of the resources that should be a compassionate place to assist new players in playing this fun game, has become an absolute trash fire. I don't go anywhere near it, and I can't imagine inviting a sprout to the Novice Network for any other reason than to punish them (which to be clear, I would not do).

So is every mentor bad? Of course not. Again, I'm a mentor. But I do understand why mentors overall have a bad reputation, and I think it's one that's well-earned. Though in the end I think that says more about CBU3's curation of the mentor program than it does the overall population of mentors. As the saying goes, a few rotten apples spoil the whole bunch.

It always saddens to me read this from certain NNs. It takes a lot of effort and time to sanitize a NN, especially one that has already gone down the drain, and it's a constant one at that. You cannot hope to make it better in one month, and you cannot also hope to keep it good if all the hardworking mentors step away for too long.

The actual way to proceed is to indeed, invite sprouts on it, but not just one sprout. We're speaking about hundreds every week, which is about half a thousand or a thousand invites a week for perhaps 100 sprouts that will accept. In turn, you get a lot of new blood, and if you take care of them, they'll appreciate you and the potentially good other mentors that are there, and by sheer numbers the nuisances will progressively peter out of the chat because it will turn into an environment they do not like. You WILL have mentor wars, and things are going to be bloody, but if you keep at it, they'll get bored before you do, because you'll have an impact on the chat's population (majority of sprouts) and they won't.

But yes, it asks for a lot of work, which isn't something that everybody is ready to invest their time into.

[Greyhawk]

I just ended up turning my mentor crown off, because it's frankly not worth the hassle anymore. The toxicity in this game towards people wanting to help others is astounding. I even have macros for certain alliance raids explaining the fights. Deleted, I got scolded for teaching someone. Now, I just let people suffer, die and figure it out. Sometimes, I don't even bother raising any longer on certain people because they don't even make the attempt at getting out of the mechanics at all.

So, thank our community for turning a somewhat decent system of recognition into a hate show. It's almost as bad as politics in game, and you posting some sign in your yard that you are a Mentor, only to have this community take a virtual dump on your lawn.

[Jonsky]

I even have macros for certain alliance raids explaining the fights. Deleted, I got scolded for teaching someone.

Makes me think these macros had sound effects embedded in the message. Could also be that they take up the entire chatbox, putting people into "I ain't readin' all of that" mode.

Now, I just let people suffer, die and figure it out.

This is what I feel like is the best course of action regardless of situation. Once a wipe has happened, I sometimes ask something along the lines of "Anyone got questions?". Sometimes people will ask after the next wipe sometimes just silence.

Sometimes, I don't even bother raising any longer on certain people because they don't even make the attempt at getting out of the mechanics at all.

The absolute worst thing you can do. Please keep trying or leave. You're making everything worse for the 2/6/22 other people in your duty.

So, thank our community for turning a somewhat decent system of recognition into a hate show.

I have the feeling that there is some nuance being held back. How often do you encounter "The toxicity in this game"? I cannot remember any worse occurrences of bad conduct than mentors who have queued mentor roulette but leave any extreme immediately.

[FemmeFatale]

There's nothing wrong with mentors, they're just another subsidery of players such as raiders, crafters, roleplayers and so on. There are a few bad apples, just as there are with every other category of player.

The people who generalize all mentors as 'bad' or 'most of them are bad' need to be avoided, they aren't the type of people you want to be around.

[RinaB]

This thread is awesome. I've had the reqs for mentor since SB and I refuse to do it. A: I don't need the attention and B: I can't type fast enough on console to make a difference and C: players are better off failing and learning on their own then being told what to do by someone they don't know. So to me that crown can get lost.

[TomsYoungerBro]

I just ended up turning my mentor crown off, because it's frankly not worth the hassle anymore. The toxicity in this game towards people wanting to help others is astounding. I even have macros for certain alliance raids explaining the fights. Deleted, I got scolded for teaching someone. Now, I just let people suffer, die and figure it out. Sometimes, I don't even bother raising any longer on certain people because they don't even make the attempt at getting out of the mechanics at all.

So, thank our community for turning a somewhat decent system of recognition into a hate show. It's almost as bad as politics in game, and you posting some sign in your yard that you are a Mentor, only to have this community take a virtual dump on your lawn.

Sorry to put you on blast, but this is Exhibit A about why the Mentor system is extremely flawed:

1. Mad they can't wear a "crown" to show they are a mentor because they get hate. Why is this a huge hindrance for helping others? You still have the "mentor" status, and having the crown does not stop you from helping others.

2. Literally admitted to griefing their parties because some people just can't figure it out fast enough. Guess they accidentally said the quiet part out loud here (incredibly toxic).

3. Instead of figuring out the boundaries of when and when not to help someone, they give up after a wall of text explaining an alliance raid gets shot down. Maybe some people want to go in blind? Maybe some people won't listen all the time? Sometimes you are gonna get shot down for advice. Take the hit and move on.


The above doesn't even take into account the requirements issue the mentor role lacks.

[RinaB]

You're not convincing anyone to wear the crown lol