It's not even that. It's that the morals of DT contradict the morals of ShB. If the Sundered had the right to live even though they aren't life as recognized by Emet-Selch, then why don't the Endless even if they aren't life as recognized by Cahcuia? We're acting like Ascians, down to playing with our food before the kill. There is no functional change in what happens in DT if we just sit in lawn chairs and wait for Sphene to finish reformatting so we can kill her. Everything shuts down anyway. But instead we're playing with these people right before wiping them from existence. It's sick.
Given they will be destroyed anyway, there is absolutely no reason to do what we did. There is no benefit to it besides it was fun for the characters. They throw in some bull about "you live as long as you're remembered" but that doesn't extend to the guy I bought popcorn from one time. I'm sure that applies to the people you actually know and think about.
That only works if Sphene didn't see us there before starting the reformatting. Not only does she know we're there, living people used to be in Living Memory and the ziplines actually still have security.
The problem in the writing is it prioritizes the emotions it wants you to feel over what makes logical sense or how real people would behave in that situation. If my mom's memories are in a virtual world and what I'm about to do next shuts down that world, we're spending the whole time Sphene is reformatting looking for a USB stick. No joke. I'm not consigning my mom's memories to oblivion due to some vague "everything that lives must die." For one, she did die, that's why she's here. And her soul is being reincarnated, what's in Living Memory is what the universe throws away and while her memories might not be of value to nature or the star, they'd be of value to me.
Imagine if Erenville could take his mom with him on his adventures. He's only 25. He has centuries more life left where he'll never speak to his mom again. And what about Krile? There was still so much her e-parents could have told her. Even if they were "just" information, they were valuable information. Information worth at least attempting to save.



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