1) Literally NO ONE has the right to tell someone to "just get used to it". These are characters that we've spent watching through hundreds of hours of cutscenes and thousands of hours of gameplay and FF14 is one the most main-character-centric MMOs in history. The attachment people have to their characters is cosmic level. Yeah, I look at some of these pictures and think "that looks the same to me" but to their player that isn't the case, even some tiny adjustment is enough to throw it all off. In any case some of these differences are pretty radical and it's impossible to not see that if you have functioning eyes.

2) It's a lottery, some people got lucky, others did not

3) Some of these changes are egregious and completely UNNECESSARY. It isn't some trick of the lighting or whatnot, they've fundamentally altered some of the presets and/or not accounted for how some the settings work with the new engine (like light coloured hair). It also doesn't matter if they've updated the facial rig, it's resting state should resemble the original preset in all respects (chin, cheeks, mouth, nose, spacing, etc)

4) Fantasia won't solve these problems because of the limited character creator. This isn't Black Desert Online where I can tweezer out individual hairs and curl a lip end or meld multiple lip glosses or resize my cheek bones to rebuild each element. A face preset is a face preset and you're stuck.