I've always felt "If you want the responsibility of leadership, you must accept the consequences of it."

I hate people that try to act like the boss when it's easy/fun, but don't want to take on the actual responsibility of the job. They just want to be "in charge" and boss people around and get free privileges without paying the costs.

In my mind, UNLESS THE TANK ASKS FOR IT (like, directly asks for help pulling and rounding up things), the Tank is the one that qued up to draw agro and round up the enemies, so the Tank pulls. If you pull, you're the tank of that enemy you pulled without asking. A party is a team effort, so the Tank shouldn't be a diva, but part of TEAM EFFORT means DPSers/Healers not going rogue and pulling things on their own, too. TEAM means COMMUNICATION. If there's no communication, the standard is the Tank is pulling. They signed up for the responsibility, they're the ones that do it. If other party members want to pull more, they should be adults and "use your big-boy/girl words" and ASK instead of going unilateral rogue and potentially wasting 3 other people's time with a wipe or something from an unexpected pull - which can and does happen from time to time.

If the Tank is single-pulling, maybe that's what they're comfortable with or they're new or they have a new Healer friend so they're going easy on them. If you don't "use your words", you don't know, so as a DPS you shouldn't be pulling. If you want to pull either (a) que as a Tank or (b) use your words and talk in party chat to ask if you can. The Tank isn't your boss, per se, but you're one member of a 4 person team. That means 3 other people should get a say before you go rogue and break convention.

While it is true accidents happen (I know I've accidentally pulled things before on Healers or DPS due to things like an enemy dying right when I hit my instant attack button and it autotargeted and pulled the next group), there's a difference between an accidental instant-cast and someone running ahead and rolling through their AOE combo.

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The mentality should be:

The convention is the Tank pulls. If you aren't the Tank, don't pull. If you aren't the Tank and want to pull, que as a Tank next time. If you aren't a Tank and want to pull RIGHT NOW, open Party chat and talk like an adult to ask the other 3 members of your team if they're okay with that.