Successful relationships in-game/IRL?

[Canadane]

I would never suggest trying to meet someone significant ingame. Can it happen and work out well? Absolutely. But this seems to be a rarity in encounters of courtship.
I would, however, strongly suggest playing FFXIV with your significant other. Shared hobbies are best enjoyed together.

[Jeeqbit]

I would never suggest trying to meet someone significant ingame. Can it happen and work out well? Absolutely. But this seems to be a rarity in encounters of courtship.

I don't think that it's rare. It feels like I've talked to hundreds of people who have. Some people don't mention it at first but if you talk to them enough, they eventually admit it.

Anywhere that you have a collection of humans there are relationships. People used to conduct romantic relationships by post.

[LianaThorne]

I would never suggest trying to meet someone significant ingame. Can it happen and work out well? Absolutely. But this seems to be a rarity in encounters of courtship.
I would, however, strongly suggest playing FFXIV with your significant other. Shared hobbies are best enjoyed together.

As someone who has primarily met my partners through online dating/meeting through apps, I don't agree with this. The dating pool in my immediate irl distance is not what I'd call great, nor do I want to subject myself to going to a bar or club to meet someone. I've never had success of any kind there, it honestly just made me want to never step foot into those places again wjth the amount of sexual harassment I've encountered.

Meanwhile I've had some really amazing dates and times with those I've met online or through apps. I also haven't been cheated on since high school with any person I've met online, when all of the relationships I've had in person have led to it. Ultimately, it depends on the person in question and their specific situation but I wouldn't just flat out discourage people from using a different way to find happiness.

Side note, pretty sure the point of finding someone in 14 is to find someone who does share your hobby. Why would you be searching if you already had someone irl interested? Most of the people I've spoken to in terms of having their significant other play with them have said they either aren't interested in gaming or are interested in extremely casual stuff like Animal Crossing. They wish that they had an interest but they just don't and they can't force them to play the game. So, they take on an in game wife that their irl person is perfectly fine with because they know their relationship is solid and their significant other is happy.

As far as it being a rarity, of course it is if you're looking for "the one". The same can also be said about finding someone irl too. You gotta dig through the dirt to find gold, doesn't matter if it's irl or online. Real love takes time to find and honestly won't show up until you DON'T look for it.

[LeonKeyh]

As someone who has primarily met my partners through online dating/meeting through apps, I don't agree with this. The dating pool in my immediate irl distance is not what I'd call great, nor do I want to subject myself to going to a bar or club to meet someone. I've never had success of any kind there, it honestly just made me want to never step foot into those places again wjth the amount of sexual harassment I've encountered.

Meanwhile I've had some really amazing dates and times with those I've met online or through apps. I also haven't been cheated on since high school with any person I've met online, when all of the relationships I've had in person have led to it. Ultimately, it depends on the person in question and their specific situation but I wouldn't just flat out discourage people from using a different way to find happiness.

Side note, pretty sure the point of finding someone in 14 is to find someone who does share your hobby. Why would you be searching if you already had someone irl interested? Most of the people I've spoken to in terms of having their significant other play with them have said they either aren't interested in gaming or are interested in extremely casual stuff like Animal Crossing. They wish that they had an interest but they just don't and they can't force them to play the game. So, they take on an in game wife that their irl person is perfectly fine with because they know their relationship is solid and their significant other is happy.

As far as it being a rarity, of course it is if you're looking for "the one". The same can also be said about finding someone irl too. You gotta dig through the dirt to find gold, doesn't matter if it's irl or online. Real love takes time to find and honestly won't show up until you DON'T look for it.

Meeting online through apps/sites specifically designed to meet up with someone is one thing. Meeting through a video game where the person could literally be anywhere and any person is another.

People get in their heads that they're going to meet the person they love in game and the first time someone shows the possibility of being that person, they pour themselves into a long-term, long-distance relationship with no true value and no endgame in sight. It's one thing to have happened to met someone in game that lives by you, and meeting up at some point. It's another to actually start a relationship in game with no ultimate plans on seeing one another. That's how people throw their lives away under the guise of "hope" and more importantly, ignore the possibilities that are right in front of them.

Meeting people from things like dating apps or Meetup.com is completely different and not what the person you were replying to was talking about.

[Gwen_Lavellan]

Meeting online through apps/sites specifically designed to meet up with someone is one thing. Meeting through a video game where the person could literally be anywhere and any person is another.

People get in their heads that they're going to meet the person they love in game and the first time someone shows the possibility of being that person, they pour themselves into a long-term, long-distance relationship with no true value and no endgame in sight. It's one thing to have happened to met someone in game that lives by you, and meeting up at some point. It's another to actually start a relationship in game with no ultimate plans on seeing one another. That's how people throw their lives away under the guise of "hope" and more importantly, ignore the possibilities that are right in front of them.

Meeting people from things like dating apps or Meetup.com is completely different and not what the person you were replying to was talking about.

This, exactly. English isn't my native language so you putted this way better than I never could, ty !

There is a crucial context difference between games and dating apps : why are we using it. I found a study a few years ago stating why games could be more effective in meeting someone, because of the endorphine we got while playing, and the mutual hobby interest. That study was speaking of the matter of geographical distances too (most of the time bigger between to players in opposition to dating apps).
I'd love finding this study again in order to share it here.

[Reinha]

It's one thing to have happened to met someone in game that lives by you, and meeting up at some point. It's another to actually start a relationship in game with no ultimate plans on seeing one another. That's how people throw their lives away under the guise of "hope" and more importantly, ignore the possibilities that are right in front of them.

On the other hand, limiting yourself to only dating people who live in the same city as you can make you miss out on someone who truly understands you. People move to different cities, states and countries for love. I'm glad my husband made that choice. However, as you said, moving together should be the ultimate goal or else it will end up being a waste of time.

[LianaThorne]

Meeting online through apps/sites specifically designed to meet up with someone is one thing. Meeting through a video game where the person could literally be anywhere and any person is another.

People get in their heads that they're going to meet the person they love in game and the first time someone shows the possibility of being that person, they pour themselves into a long-term, long-distance relationship with no true value and no endgame in sight. It's one thing to have happened to met someone in game that lives by you, and meeting up at some point. It's another to actually start a relationship in game with no ultimate plans on seeing one another. That's how people throw their lives away under the guise of "hope" and more importantly, ignore the possibilities that are right in front of them.

Meeting people from things like dating apps or Meetup.com is completely different and not what the person you were replying to was talking about.

So, you have a point. I'll give you that. Some very much are just looking for love with no end game. However, there are *some* (myself included) who are fine with that potential of it never working out to physically being with each other. This is ultimately going to come down to an explanation of how I view love so, I apologize if it doesn't make much sense.

For starters, I am demisexual, which is a form of asexuality where I can be attracted to anyone regardless of their gender, sexual preference, appearance, etc. because physical needs take a backseat to the emotional and mental. I do not need any sort of physical intimacy to be happy and I can go months or years without it. Therefore one night stands and the like, things thst don't involve an emotional connection, just do not do anything to me.

So, when it comes to this type of situation, I am perfectly fine with not meeting anyone I am with online in person because my need is the emotional side of things. I also make it very plain to those I meet that this is how I am and that there's a very high chance we might never actually meet. The person that I've been referring to in my posts also knows this reality and is still choosing to stick with me because for both of us, this is enough. If he changes his mind eventually, then that will be devastating but at the same time he's making a choice for him to be happy. I absolutely won't stand in the way of that.

There are just different types of love in the world and different views on relationships and what is or isn't enough. There are some who absolutely need a physical in person relationship and some, like me, who don't. That's why I stress communication is extremely important on both sides so both are aware of the needs of the other and can make an educated decision on whether or not it'll work.