Successful relationships in-game/IRL?

[LianaThorne]

This is gonna be a long one.

So, currently I'm in an on and off again relationship (off periods initiated by myself for reasons relating to mental health and ex baggage) with a wonderful human being for the past year. He is my rock and my best friend and I wouldn't trade him for anyone. We have houses next door to each other in Dynamis and take every Tuesday (even when we aren't in an "on period") to spend the entire day together, while we spend the morning with each other on the other days. We also don't just stick to playing 14 together which is really nice since it's not something I'm really used to from my previous 14 relationships. Currently we're exploring 11 (late to the party ik) and binge watching 90 Day Fiancee videos (since we both enjoy a good dumpster fire). I honestly can't see myself being with anyone else now lol and he's shown to me that he wants to make things work with me with how we communicate in arguments and come back feeling even closer afterwards. So yes, it's possible to find your "soulmate" online but it did take me two years of failed relationships and being put in some really screwed up situations to ultimately get here.
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I also wanted to comment on the state of relationships in FF, both friendly and romantic. I feel like 14 is a case where people are treated as temporary on a regular basis because of how many people do play this game and how easy/accessible cheating is if someone really wanted it. I'm not a doctor or a psychologist so take my views on the following however you like but I think humans are attracted to attention/constantly on the look out for something better than what they have. I think it's simply human nature to be attracted to new things/new people, especially ones that are able to connect on either a physical or emotional level (which ultimately isn't a bad thing because you can't help attraction) but it becomes a problem when you start putting that new person on a pedastal above your established partner. Friendships are similar, things are fine until someone new comes along that they also vibe with and start spending more time with that person than you. Next thing you know, they don't speak to you anymore because you've lost your value/whatever it is you were giving to them.

There's also a lot of people (notably in the nightclub scene) claiming to be "poly" but ultimately just wanting to ERP/openly flirt with anything that moves and have their partner sit and deal with it. Apologies to the actual polyamorous crowd cause ya'll deserve better. There's also some that don't even view online RP/ERP as cheating/"fake" which can really clash hard with those that do view it as real and be in real pain over it, leading to confusion & arguments on why the person is even upset. Which leads into my next point:

There's also an issue with clear communication that I've noticed, as if people are afraid to just be blunt and open about what they want/what they are willing to give. It leads to a lot of problems down the line when views clash and it could have easily just been avoided if both sides had just been firm about their boundaries. A recurring thing I keep seeing is that "x person wants too much from me when I'm trying to just be friendly with them." This ultimately could be solved with just straight up saying:

"Hey, I only want friendship and I am not interested in dating you. If we are able to be platonic then I want to keep getting to know you and have you be a close friend in my life. If that's not possible, then I don't think us speaking further will be a good idea for either of us."

Or another example relating to my earlier paragraph on RP/ERP being fake:

"Hey, I really like you and would like to continue to get to know you but I am very passionate about roleplay and have several partners that I am not willing to give up for this relationship. I do not view what we do together as anything more than writing. Is that something you're willing to accept or would knowing that I am potentially being in sexual scenarios with other women be a deal breaker?"

If the person still pushes the issue, then handle that as you would like but I personally just prefer the simple block and move forward method. The point is you communicated properly and the person is very much aware of what you want and aren't willing to budge on. It's probably scary to be that blunt with someone and stand your ground on your needs but like...it's your life and you have to put yourself first in these situations. The other person also is owed the knowledge to be able to make an educated decision about things and not blindly walk into a relationship with secrets being kept, because then that's entirely your fault for not being upfront about your needs.

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.

[Carin-Eri]

*snip* - thanks silly character limitation!

Thank you for sharing!

Have to admit, I'm of the mind that - in terms of in-game relationships at least - one needs to accept the possibility of their 'partner' showing interest in others. I hate to term it this way, but MMOs are a target-rich environment in that sense and I don't find it difficult to see how easy it would be to be led astray.

[Vencio]

Thank you for sharing!

Have to admit, I'm of the mind that - in terms of in-game relationships at least - one needs to accept the possibility of their 'partner' showing interest in others. I hate to term it this way, but MMOs are a target-rich environment in that sense and I don't find it difficult to see how easy it would be to be led astray.

Tis be true,

Also takes huge discernment & introspection through trial & error. Let that flow naturally rather than punish yourself for it or adopt an irrational view that “all are awful” which is not helpful (just couple bad & good apples around).

Just be yourself & never compromise that for someone’s sake satisfaction which ensnares you completely unawares.

[Vidu]

Met my fiance in this game about 10 years ago (during ARR beta). We're currently planning our wedding and 1/3 of our guestlist is basically people we've been plaing this game with - some of whom we've met during FanFests and have gone on vacations together, some we'll meet for the first time at our wedding (...I'll admit I'm gonna be a bit disappointed if a lalafell friends turns out to be taller then me, but he promised to have the lower part of his legs removed before, so its all looking good!)

[NekoMataMata]

This is gonna be a long one.
-Snippers-

Someone actually came out and said it.

It's not just FF14 but it feels like people treat others online as expendable because it's so easy to find others to "replace" them.

As for communication, I feel like a lot of people are a bit scared to communicate at this point. A lot of people refuse to take no for answer, and a lot of people will get upset, guilt trip you and so forth. It's often easier to just run away sadly.

[Gwen_Lavellan]

I met my husband on this game in March 2016 and we still are together. I left my country in 2017 to live with him (he first joined me for 9 months but we finally decided to move to France, in his hometown)

We met on a FC which unfortunately no longer exists because of some conflicts and according to that, I totally agree with some posts above mine : people sometimes treats others online as expendable…

[Taralyne]

I had relationship with a guy on WoW for a long time.Use to give me online gift cards all the time .We just clicked .
Been tempted to post in the marriage thread,but im kina shy,but it is fun to have someone ingame.

[caffe_macchiato]

I'd like to hear some stories about relationships in-game or in real life, originally, i was thinking about amorous relationship but feel free to share friendship too!



I must confess that i'm going through a bad phase and i lost completely my faith in humanity. My dreams aren't helping me at all....so, once again, i'd like to hear your stories.


Thank you.

Unfortunately, Final Fantasy XIV is no longer a good place to make lasting friendships or relationships. The content is seasonal, and once most people are bored with it, they play other games. You can't meet long-lasting friends or soul mates during a game that's only fully-operational once or twice a year. And a lot of people LOVE this about FFXIV. The director tells us to quit playing, and we cheer because we no longer have to play his game. That doesn't exactly inspire faith. I'm telling you this for your own good--please look elsewhere for what you're seeking. Find the games that others play during the drought, and get invested in those. The games that are worth more to people than FFXIV.

[Canadane]

I would never suggest trying to meet someone significant ingame. Can it happen and work out well? Absolutely. But this seems to be a rarity in encounters of courtship.
I would, however, strongly suggest playing FFXIV with your significant other. Shared hobbies are best enjoyed together.

[Jeeqbit]

I would never suggest trying to meet someone significant ingame. Can it happen and work out well? Absolutely. But this seems to be a rarity in encounters of courtship.

I don't think that it's rare. It feels like I've talked to hundreds of people who have. Some people don't mention it at first but if you talk to them enough, they eventually admit it.

Anywhere that you have a collection of humans there are relationships. People used to conduct romantic relationships by post.