Have you tried not listening to other people so intently, and not taking everything they say as gospel? It sounds like you've become a bit "meta" obsessed without significant basis in reality.
Other than that blanket recommendation, MCH has pretty much par rDPS with other physranged so they're not really out of balance. "Selfish" isn't a role, physranged is. BLM skirts this thanks to RDM and SMN raises.