This game has serious free-rider problems and it's getting worse. A suggestion.

[Nethereal]

I'm.. not sure what this means. You want to share the right way to do it but don't think you should have to "whisper" to make sure it's a 1 on 1 interaction?

Most mechanics can be explained easily, I however do not offer individual advice nor reference any particular individual when something goes awry unless blatantly apparently needing to be addressed pre pull.
For instance, I would rather kick a bad healer/tank than explain to them the basics of their job and how to keep the party from not dying despite it being a simple fix of pressing 1 additional button on their part.
I will however explain how things 'should' be done for us to clear.

The reality of the situation is there are a few very weird narratives people run that affect how people interact. I say toxic because that's exactly what they do: they poison the minds of people who hear them and believe it. They make people afraid to even talk to anyone because "if you talk to anyone you'll eventually get banned". They make people confrontational because "the community is actually really toxic underneath and just limited by rules" so people assume the worst intentions. They make people choose certain servers because "Everyone on that server is an ERP-er and will try to drag you into it".

I mean none of that isn't unnecessarily true.
Initially people associated one server with RP so they could easily group up with like minded people, why is that different when used in a negative connotation?
Not to mention that the GMs feed into this hysteria by not following a strict enough guideline.
And you will get banned eventually if you're not talking in a semi professional manner.
Crude words whether aimed or not aimed at a particular object or person will eventually get you in trouble in this game.

Sure you can avoid ever being in a car accident by never driving anywhere (well.. realistically you can't cause people might still crash into YOU.. but .. metaphor) but you will miss out on the fun and convenience of driving by doing so. This is the same mentality behind never ever giving advice or helping people.

The difference here is I have no guarantee of compensation and I also take on a permanent possible account risk.

When I learn how to drive and buy a car I know the guaranteed pros and possible consequences that it will bring to me, however the pros out weigh the cons by landslide.

Now for someone like me who puts myself before strangers, the above is not true at all when comparing it to 'helping people' in game.
I'm not missing out on anything either as I curate who I interact with in-game largely with third party programs that help me meet people with aligning interests.

A better analogy would be comparing duty finder to a bar and party finder to a friend group.
The bar is open to the public so you don't know who you'll meet, sometimes you meet the love of your life, other times you meet a crazy axe murderer. Both extremes on the opposite spectrum. Both highly unlikely but possible.
However you also know you're going to meet people just like you.
This leads to a friend group which is 'safe' territory already mapped out and you know most of the initial risk you took from meeting them (at the bar) has so far mostly been eliminated.
But if you keep going back to the bar(helping people) befriending people you keep exposing yourself to that risk of running into the axe murderer.
Going once, twice, thrice, a few times more. Not so bad. But after awhile?
After awhile there's really no reason to go back to the bar.

If it helps you understand where I'm coming from. I would rather countless murderers roam free than have a single innocent person be in-prisoned. E.G. I would rather not help anyone than have the possibility of getting a strike regardless of how low and improbable. The possibility to me. Is. Unacceptable.

*snip*

A fair take but the NFL analogy was in poor taste.
People who are in the NFL don't show up to the game(dungeon) wondering what the game plan is they know what the game plan is because they've studied and practiced it way before they had to participate in said game.
They understand that the time to practice, study, give advice, and answer questions is outside the time spent actually participating.