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  1. #31
    Player Theodric's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    10,051
    Character
    Matthieu Desrosiers
    World
    Cerberus
    Main Class
    Reaper Lv 90
    So long as people remain within the confines of the terms of service/code of conduct then they're at liberty to weigh in on something that is posted here. One doesn't need to agree with everything posted here, of course, though thankfully we're not quite at the level where humanity exists as one great big hive mind.
    (7)

  2. #32
    Player
    BunniEclair's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    Posts
    526
    Character
    Tea Cakes
    World
    Gilgamesh
    Main Class
    White Mage Lv 90
    Seriously can’t have anything nice here without gremlins making it about the worst case scenario and playing keyboard psychologist. Not every post on here has to devolve into everyone’s hot takes and horror stories.

    Since my first post was frustrated, just wanna say that I’m happy for you OP. I’ve seen you around here and we haven’t always seen eye to eye on everything but I’m glad you are finding hobbies that bring you connection and happiness at a time where you are having a rough go. There are better days ahead, keep your head above water.
    (4)

  3. #33
    Player Theodric's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    10,051
    Character
    Matthieu Desrosiers
    World
    Cerberus
    Main Class
    Reaper Lv 90
    Quote Originally Posted by BunniEclair View Post
    Seriously can’t have anything nice here without gremlins making it about the worst case scenario and playing keyboard psychologist. Not every post on here has to devolve into everyone’s hot takes and horror stories.
    I don't think there's much justification for name calling, especially over simple differences in thought and opinions.
    (8)

  4. #34
    Player
    Lauront's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Amaurot
    Posts
    4,449
    Character
    Tristain Archambeau
    World
    Cerberus
    Main Class
    Black Mage Lv 90
    Quote Originally Posted by Jeeqbit View Post
    Someone being rude in a dungeon can ruin the entire month of someone with no mental problems and make them apprehensive about ever queueing for one again. The effect of a rude person in a dungeon cannot be understated.

    Giving advice to a stranger you just met is probably going to be interpreted as you implying they are playing badly. They probably aren't wrong for interpreting it that way either.

    Telling them they are playing badly is rude. As I said, being rude can leave a footprint in their mind for a month or more. That's why it's best to just give advice when it's asked for, necessary to defeat a boss, or when you know them outside of the dungeon and aren't trying to type while fighting.

    We also have to remember that most people don't do a dungeon to play optimally, they do it to enjoy the story or unwind and the last thing they probably want is someone to disrupt that with their "advice".
    I think reading that much into people's intentions and having such a mentality is not going to be particularly conducive to growing as a person in general. People do need to grow slightly thicker skin if mere advice scars them in that way...
    (8)
    When the game's story becomes self-aware:


  5. #35
    Player KizuyaKatogami's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2021
    Posts
    3,472
    Character
    Kizuya Katogami
    World
    Cerberus
    Main Class
    Conjurer Lv 81
    Quote Originally Posted by Jeeqbit View Post
    Someone being rude in a dungeon can ruin the entire month of someone with no mental problems and make them apprehensive about ever queueing for one again. The effect of a rude person in a dungeon cannot be understated.

    Giving advice to a stranger you just met is probably going to be interpreted as you implying they are playing badly. They probably aren't wrong for interpreting it that way either.

    Telling them they are playing badly is rude. As I said, being rude can leave a footprint in their mind for a month or more. That's why it's best to just give advice when it's asked for, necessary to defeat a boss, or when you know them outside of the dungeon and aren't trying to type while fighting.

    We also have to remember that most people don't do a dungeon to play optimally, they do it to enjoy the story or unwind and the last thing they probably want is someone to disrupt that with their "advice".
    If someone being rude to a person in a dungeon ruins their mood for a MONTH, i would disagree with that person not having any mental problems. Disregarding that, i dont think anyone is asking for people to go through a dungeon fully optimized. But when you have people who arent even doing the basics of their job, thats going to rightfully get called out. Dungeons arent solo content. You're playing with 3 other people and if youre not going to take the time to learn your job and instead waste 3 other players' time, its going to get called out.
    (10)

  6. #36
    Player
    BunniEclair's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    Posts
    526
    Character
    Tea Cakes
    World
    Gilgamesh
    Main Class
    White Mage Lv 90
    Quote Originally Posted by Theodric View Post
    I don't think there's much justification for name calling, especially over simple differences in thought and opinions.
    Perhaps, but I meant every word and that is 100% my opinion on the immediate downturn this thread took from one of gratitude to one of self-obsessed negativity because god forbid someone be mentally ill and enjoy something. My patience for that kind of behavior is essentially non-existant, and I won’t apologize for it. Cheers!
    (4)

  7. #37
    Player
    Penthea's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Gridania
    Posts
    3,664
    Character
    Nettle Creidne
    World
    Moogle
    Main Class
    Scholar Lv 100
    Quote Originally Posted by Theodric View Post
    I don't think there's much justification for name calling, especially over simple differences in thought and opinions.
    Someone jumping the gun and assuming OP is replacing therapy with gaming isn't a mere difference of opinion. That was an incredibly rude assumption to make.

    There is a huge difference between "I hope you are seeking professional help" and "don't use gaming to escape your problems". There are ways to phrase your concern without accusing someone of something.

    It's irritating to say the least that if you are a person with health issues you can't talk about things you enjoy that help you to cope without someone telling you that you shouldn't engage in escapism instead of dealing with your health. Saying that something helps does not automatically mean that is the only thing you're doing to cope. Yet pretty often people assume this.

    We shouldn't have to teach people that knowing one tiny snippet of someone's life isn't an accurate indication of everything else they're doing. Especially when the information given to us is very vague. OP only said irl isn't great due to depression and the game helps. And somehow someone took this to mean they're making a huge mistake with their medical issues while knowing nothing else about them. It's prejudice.
    (3)

  8. #38
    Player
    Greyhawk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    690
    Character
    Coven Whitewolf
    World
    Hyperion
    Main Class
    Sage Lv 100
    OP, glad you found a release. Just please keep in mind that this is certainly no 'fix' for issues - it's just temporary, and I saw you mention in an earlier post that it's no different than a RL community? Yes and no... but glad to see it helps.
    (1)

  9. #39
    Player
    Jeeqbit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    7,985
    Character
    Oscarlet Oirellain
    World
    Jenova
    Main Class
    Paladin Lv 100
    Quote Originally Posted by KizuyaKatogami View Post
    If someone being rude to a person in a dungeon ruins their mood for a MONTH, i would disagree with that person not having any mental problems.
    Regardless of your disagreement, it's clear that it has this effect and that's why being rude is against the rules.
    (0)

  10. #40
    Player
    DamianFatale's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Ishgard
    Posts
    3,089
    Character
    Arctura Fengari
    World
    Balmung
    Main Class
    Dancer Lv 90
    Quote Originally Posted by BunniEclair View Post
    Seriously can’t have anything nice here without gremlins making it about the worst case scenario and playing keyboard psychologist. Not every post on here has to devolve into everyone’s hot takes and horror stories.

    Since my first post was frustrated, just wanna say that I’m happy for you OP. I’ve seen you around here and we haven’t always seen eye to eye on everything but I’m glad you are finding hobbies that bring you connection and happiness at a time where you are having a rough go. There are better days ahead, keep your head above water.
    I love this. People often get angry and upset instead of looking at the bigger picture. We really don't have to put each other down. It's not like the game is made by us. We misdirect our anger instead of putting it in a healthier place where it belongs.
    (4)

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