Revelations from Patch 5.2

[Vyrerus]

(Observe)(Wind-up Tarutaru)



Now where did I put that dunce cap? I'm sure I had one tucked away in some corner...

You won't find your dunce cap. I took it when I made my old content solo thread.

[Lutefisk]

(Do you have enough TP?)

SKYSTEEL TOOLS

Easy enough when the materials aren't gated with timed windows. Well, it's back to working on expert recipes then, there's so much instant gratification up for grabs with score grinding. Pleases the lizard brain like nothing else.

Maybe things will calm down a bit in time for the new premiere.

SAVE THE QUEEN

Yup, you really nailed that look gurl. Loud clashing colors are a timeless classic of MMO fashion ensembles. The sunglasses are really nice too.

Reclaiming national self-determination by subverting a cultural institution of a foreign civilization is kind of like... umm... You know, maybe you should just relax, eat some eyecandy and not think too hard about it. :^) The entire sorry excuse of a ”liberation campaign” was, to put it nicely, revolting. And the cherry on top the vomit sundae was that the parties involved had the nerve to pat themselves on the back for doing squat all to earn any of it. For reasons unknown the plot demands that the poor wittle underdogs must needs to be handed a victory on a silver platter. The post trial scene on the roof was so disgusting that I wanted to skip it, that's the second time I've considered doing it.

”Life and death come and go like marionettes dancing on a table. Once their strings are cut, they easily crumble”? I've seen the two Oshii films but the other productions are stuck in the ”I should really get around watching this sometime” limbo. A thing shaped like a human being that has failed to achieve the illusion of personhood. What are you even supposed to call something like that? If copying real people is the only way a poet can come up with something resembling a personality then perhaps they should let go of the quill and become a gardener or a monk.

Another city we only get to see through a peek inside a duty. What a bummer, the pumpkin fields must have been pretty. I've never understood the hype around ”Answers,” ”Penitus” has always been the real ARR theme. Wheter it's true or not sometimes it feels like I don't hear the sound of tinnitus when I'm dreaming.

”Friends”? Pffft. As if I'd ever consider that lot my friends, don't much care to socialize with some sassy snarky twats full of Sharlayan man's burden. Wait, no, I mean sassy snarky twats full of Sharlayan man's burden that are so totally not like those other Sharlayans, so of course I'm supposed like them. Because they're Morally Superior Author Approved Role Models™ or some other rot like that. Dunno if blondie cares, she's alienating and unrelatable. Someone else's creation, an object that I'm borrowing to interact with the game world.

God Claudius would pit his caracals aginst my guinea pigs and challenge the Peasoup Throne? Not lacking spirit, that one.

Mother has been living on a disability pension for years now and the older nurses have all retired due to age. No one I personally know is directly involved but it's unnerving all the same. Maltese falcon is safe and sound too so that's some good news.

MEMORIA

A funny coincidence, more absurd than morbid. Odd that someone who got an invitation to the Independence Day Reception for researching leukemia would keel over from a cough. Though by then he was in such a bad shape due to multiple sclerosis that even talking properly was hard. God or not, the genetic lottery doesn't care about your good deeds.

Grug no understand gunlance, Grug only use sword and shield to hunt.

I found the buffoons sitting on my side of the table more reprehensible than the people I'm supposed to hate. A pack of drooling imbeciles with an IQ lower than their shoe size blurting out galaxy brainfarts, so full of themselves they might burst if you as much as tickled them. That's the impression I was left with when the parley was over. When you have to put up with individuals undeserving of your respect or sympathy, the best recourse is to distance yourself from the action and don the mantle of an outside observer. But it was like, good writing or something because the plot advanced in the direction it was supposed to!

More roundabout beating around the bush? The side stories are mostly fine with a few notable exceptions, it's only the MSQ writing that's trash. And you can't improve if you don't even know how much you suck. Not so entertaining to hear, but is that not why you hired Yoko Taro?

What else... oh, right, what was up with that Hell Wyrm in Ridorana?

[Lutefisk]

All lore is folly.

The Creation Shadowbringers - Bonus Round

Mead and funnel cakes, another year without a cap. And a slight delay this time, I've been putting off attending the Full Bloom Fest and the end date is approaching fast so I was busy working on a get-tickets-quick scheme over the weekend. Poked Blackveil and Namielle a bit and shanked Shara's ankles too.

Coil is kinda trash. I wasn't there, so it's never going to mean anything to me.
Crystal Tower is okay but O'riginal the Catboy is trash, what an insufferable tool and an entitled bootlicker.
Everything to do with DRK is trash. Everything else except the Moogles. The 50-60 part was less worse than the rest.
Hildibrand is alright but dude's got an unbelievably obnoxious fanbase.

It's a bit too late say this now but I'll do it anyways. You guys didn't really think this through. Anyone who actually enjoys that kind of crap would not have been able to see through the trick. Cute idea, A+ plus for effort, but it was doomed to fail because you don't understand the human mind as much as you think you do. I don't mind taking time off from my usual pursuits to gab about your artistic merits but guiding blind men to Mount Tai is tiresome and boring and the sheer ridiculousness of the predicament at hand isn't helping to make it any more enticing. May this little mishap serve as an object lesson about the dangers of stereotyping.

Like, seriously. What in tarnation were you thinking?

Game Dev Machine Lv.4

On the way out of the Bunker, stepping inside the elevator leading to the terminal room when the berserk units are still active can get you stuck in a stunlock loop. Three, four combat units is enough to block the way out and stop the doors from closing and the inside isn't spacy enough to get out of the reach of close-range attacks. With that many enemies throwing jabs there's no time to recover from a hit before the next one connects so you can't wind up a melee attack or fire the pod, and access to the pause menu is disabled if you're not standing still so the available options are to wait until the stock of healing items runs out or to turn off the console. I was laughing too hard to do the latter even if it took me a while to die.

Since the story in Automata felt like it was written by people who treat their audience like adults with fully functioning mental faculties, the worst I have to say about the game is that the scaling of hacking damage could have been adjusted a bit for the last fight of Route D. On a repeat playthrough overleveling cuts the experience a bit short. But to return to present matters, the rest of the Rhinegold should cover the expenses of deleting a datacenter. Maybe even all of them. Go on and take it, it's all yours.

On an unrelated tangent, since you're not going to stop pestering me about it until I spell it out for you, the best character is the Narrator.

As for the origin of the design... it was based on an idea more than on a person. The design document called for something with neutral tones that go well with a wide variety of potential color palettes. Over the years it developed into a go-to template that I tweak and modify as needed based on available models. Speaking of, the iteration some smartypants yoinked for research purposes is partially the result of an accident and if it looks like that to you, it's because that's what you choose to see. Black and blue, white and gold. Or white with a bluish shadow and black with a golden sheen. Maybe blue and gold if I have to pick just two colors. Animal Welfare Enthusiast II does bear a passing resemblance to someone I knew, but that's a different story and nothing too serious.

Last but not least, a super shocking surprise plot twist. The blond hair is a reference but not to Takano. Sure, that works too but it wasn't the intent behind the redesign. My character originally had the number 2 haircut with row 6 column 8 brown as the base color and row 2 column 8 brown for highlights. Sometime during the later part of 2.x patch cycle (I'll have to check the date from the filenames when I find the older screenshots) I switched to the current haircut and color combo. It wasn't supposed to be any kind of Deep and Meaningful Metafictional Commentary on anything at first but playing through 3.x is what made me stick with it. The rest of that tale will have to wait until I have time to do a writeup on the Firmament sidequests.

Man this timeline is so weird. I guess that's what happens when you mess around with meme magic too much.

[Vyrerus]

[COLOR="red"]Everything to do with DRK is trash. Everything else except the Moogles. The 50-60 part was less worse than the rest.

Absolute Rubbish. Everything tied to DRK is stellar. It's like a miniaturized version of the events that unfold around Fei Fong Wong in Xenogears, right down to multiple personality disorder.

Silly Lutefisk.

[Cilia]

Absolute Rubbish. Everything tied to DRK is stellar. It's like a miniaturized version of the events that unfold around Fei Fong Wong in Xenogears, right down to multiple personality disorder.

Silly Lutefisk.

Ahem. The correct term is Disassociative Identity Disorder.

That said, don't feed the trolls.

[Vyrerus]

Ahem. The correct term is Disassociative Identity Disorder.

That said, don't feed the trolls.

I don't believe Lutefisk is a troll. Just eccentric.

Also considering that everything mentioning D.I.D. makes note that it was once M.P.D. the change in name was mostly one of semantics. They describe the same mental disorder.

[Lutefisk]

SUPER FIRMAMENT FIXER 2.22 TURBO HD REMIX

Once, There Was a Whole Lot of Pointless Exposition

Did Handeloup's daughter ever learn to cook anything edible? You can't always lean on hollandaise sauce as a crutch. The Dish That Must Not Be Named was pulled from the menu before I started school so the only lunchtime horror story I have to tell about is the blood dumpling soup in the first grade, just thinking about it makes me feel sick. Home cooking intake mostly consisted of starches, animal proteins and non-icky veggies and fruit, I didn't make much use of the salad tables until I was well out of my teens. And as grannies are won't to do mine also cooked a lot. The standout recipes would be herring steaks, salmon soup and rhubarb pie from my father's side and meringue desserts and meatballs fried in a cast iron skillet from my mother's side. Oh, and the one true hot chocolate recipe; whole milk and van Houten cocoa.

I was born in the not so small village where I reside now, but before settling down here again we moved around the country so much I need all my fingers and toes to keep track of the previous addresses. Over the course of compulsory education I attended six different schools. Some of the kids and the teachers in the class photos I still recognize but the others are faces without names.

Another reason why Ravana is memorable is that he melted my toaster desktop's old graphics card. The first clear of Thok ast Thok was so janky that I took a short break from the game to upgrade into a newer GeForce model before proceeding any further in the story.

A dialogue choice is not a way to express yourself. Customizing a character's appearance is a feature I can ignore if I feel like rocking the clownsuit look. Choosing a playstyle to main can be based on the flavor of class fantasy or how fun the mechanics feel but if nothing catches my interest I can try out another game. Picking the least worst option from the list of words that the writers will put into my mouth is an annoying chore most of the time. If the writing glossed over my replies I could at least think of something to fill in the gaps that doesn't feel out of character.

Morbid curiosity to see what kind of a hellhole gives rise to crazy stories of griefing and drama is what led me into the stint with ship spinning. My taste in video games has slightly changed from those days but making stuff blow up in space was fun. And WoW is WoW, need I say more? I kind of regret not going with a druid or a paladin for that sweet multirole spec tree but in the end the hunter pet selection (OH MY GOD IT'S A DEVILSAUR) was too much to resist. The Black Stalker, Skoll, an ironhide devilsaur, Gezzarak, Rattlebore, Hell-Hoot, a shardhorn rhino and a blue sporebat were the homies I rolled with, the rides were plainer than the rest of the retinue. Rams, horses and goats for battlegrounds, gryphons and a Time-Lost Proto-Drake for outdoor zones.

The news about the temporary suspension of digital sales is what got me to check out ARR, I grabbed a physical copy from a department store that has since then closed down. Completing all the crafting quests was fun but the only interesting thing about the MSQ was the framing and composition of the cutscenes, so I bid farewell to the milquetoast main cast after Garuda and went back to shouting kill commands until maining a pure dps class got dull.

When I gave the game another go and made it to level cap, finding a good glamour gave me a headache. The AF1 robe in gobbiebag brown and a ceruleum blue velveteen beret with loam brown boarskin thighboots was the last getup I used before I settled on the acolyte's robe for good. Detailed, but not overdesigned. The brown belt looping over the shoulder against the green fabric was reminescent of the fiddler's new threads so both the beret and the hair got new colors to match. That was on the United Nations Day, ten months and a week before MGSV proper was released. Before I wrapped up the last part of 2.5 the outfit was updated into its present-day form. Like the robe, the duckbills also drop from the first dungeon in the game and the gaskins and the halfgloves are low level vendor gear. Ignoring the level restrictions it's something you could reasonably be wearing when you get off the boat in Limsa.

Two nasty bouts of laryngitis, a chipped tooth from tripping over in a staircase and arm bone fractures from horse riding accidents and bumps from little children are painful, but coming home only to be greeted by an empty cage with neither hide nor hair of its occupant in sight is traumatic. The cavy in question was getting old for a rodent and it hadn't been showing much signs of recovering from the recent ringworm infection so the decision to put it down wasn't that shocking. That it was done behind my back was what pissed me off. Everyone took part in taking care of the second one, the two rabbits and the Great Pyrenees that followed but I was in charge of the first animal in the household because I had paid for it out of my own pocket. So departed the Supreme Dark Deva to greener pastures. The Premier may love surprises but I don't.

But that's enough talk about me and mine, here's something about you and your most disappointing shortcomings.

Dragons Are Not Wyverns

The new track makes my ears bleed.

Estinien is so bland that I have nothing to say about him.

Psycho bimbo sticking it to the patriarchy by slaughtering the people whose lot she was supposedly trying to improve and then making up excuses about being the defender of the downtrodden who wasn't just using them for personal validation was really touching. So touching it made me wanna keelhaul the geniuses who thought that I would feel bad for her thrice and then roll them in tar and feathers.

”Has Edmont stopped beating his wife yet?” is what I'd ask were she still alive. A vile, fraudulent creature like him deserves nothing more than to be fed to pigs but no pig deserves to be subjected to such cruelty. And try as I might to put it to digital paper, no expression in English or any other language known to man is degrading enough to convey how much I loathe that... insult to my intelligence.

For a man who supposedly got the post of the Lord Commander based on his own accomplishments Aymeric doesn't act the part. Bending over backwards to appease beasts that don't even recognize you as an equal is unbecoming of anyone with a modicum of self-respect, be they vertebrates or not. And a dinner date with a fart huffing sleazeball like him is not what I signed up for, but pretending to be best buds with politicians is part of the job.

My feet hurt and this pretentious pity bait of a class revolution figurehead is too loud, can I go back home to Mor Dhona already? Relegating the overhaul of an entire nation's political system into a footnote in the epilogue sequence during the credits might fly in a work aimed at a younger audience but here it comes across as juvenile. The lack of any known historical examples of parliamentary democracy in-universe or even hinting that any parties besides the Designated Good Guys would have sentiments about changing the status quo made the whole affair look like an amateurish author tract on how religious organizations that the writer has a bone to pick with are literally Goldenbaum.

Even knowing that it may have been intended (if it wasn't simply repurposed) as a prelude to the other allusions pertaining to Atheist's Nightmare and other associated writings doesn't make it feel any less crude in execution. As far as I could tell, the only moral of the story was that the eternal adoration of the masses is the Mighty Whitey Savior of Light's rightful reward for showing dumb subhumans the correct way to live their lives by pushing buttons in a video game.

After this diatribe you shouldn't have much trouble to work out what was going through my head when the plot forced me into the role of a mediator in a cut and dry case that I had no stakes in and a very tenuous moral obligation at best to be involved with. I'll recount it here for your convenience if you don't feel like playing guessing games:

Are.

You.

Seriously.

Expecting me to feel even a tiny tinge of sympathy towards those insolent pests? They chose to side with a usurper, they're not in a position to lecture anyone about what is right and proper.



Peace Day never came.

If there's one thing I've learned from honing my writing skills, it's that people only like audience participation when it's their opinion that matters.

[Vyrerus]

I moved around a lot as a kid too. Six schools for me as well.

Also aww, I like the new track Q.Q