To reiterate the main point - which really does seem to be going unnoticed, or ignored, or something - no one is asking anyone to say 'wow the Ascians are the good guys after all!'.

People are merely pointing out that the 'good guys' are a matter of perspective. Both sides have done questionable things, motivated by goals that they sincerely believed in. Both sides seems to have adopted a belief that the end justifies the means. They are both as bad - or good - as each other, at least based on what we currently know.

Arguing that killing millions is tolerable because it's just the population of one planet, not 13, is ...well ...words escape me frankly ...