The contempt for people with disabled people in this community really concerns me

[Doozer]

I personally wouldn't call patience "free therapy." I think all OP is asking for is for players to be mindful of the fact that not everyone learns at the same pace, for various reasons. To remember that the person who's struggling may not be making mistakes just to upset their party - they very well may be trying their best. They don't deserve to be insulted or weeded out of the game just because they take longer to learn something. I don't think it's asking much to remember that not everyone will be perfect right away (or even at all times)? I'd imagine that it would make the game more fun actually since other people's mistakes wouldn't seem so aggravating.

I think all of this is really important. I often get irritated when someone isn't performing how I would like them to, and rarely stop to think that maybe there's a reason they can't help. Not because they're a parent who's not watching their screaming kids, or playing while drunk, etc., but because sometimes there are physical limitations that can cause problems. That doesn't mean they should be yelled at or kicked. I've seen some people die to the same mechanics over and over, and there might be a valid reason why, but people rarely ask them if they need help (you'd think a mentor would, but nope).

It's important to remember that this is a game. Games are meant to be fun, but that doesn't mean we have to step all over other people so we can have fun at their expense. Remember that the person on the other side is in fact a real living person, and there's no need to treat them as any less. Disabled or not.

[Theodric]

It's a game, sure, but that doesn't make it any less of a waste of time for the other people stuck in a group with someone who is under-performing. I'm a pretty patient guy and will quite readily stick out a shaky duty so long as people are making an effort. My patience is only strained when there's a clear cause for concern. Even accounting for various factors there's only so much that can be done to accommodate someone especially if the mistakes being made are directly contributing to a wipe.

Furthermore, when people do offer to give advice there's a risk it is ignored and even when it's worded very politely there's the risk that people can be reported and banned for 'compelling a play-style'. I wouldn't be at all surprised if that factored into why so many players don't bother to think too deeply on such matters.

[Gallus]

Because this is the internet, and because people have repeatedly demonstrated to be incapable of handling their emotions when things go wrong. They don't stop and think if the other person on the other side of the screen is legit disabled or has a malignant tumour in their brain.

The easiest and most comfortable explanation your average flamer will come up with is " look at this guy, they aren't even trying and have no intention of learning". That way they have a free pass to endlessly harass you and later disguise it as "friendly advice" if they ever meet a GM later or present the situation on the forums.

[SerLuke]

Also, I\\'m hoping this is a general statement you aren\\'t directing at OP but regardless implying that people will be "play[ing] the \\'I am disabled\\' card" is an iffy thing to say. Considering the outright contempt people have for those with disabilities in real life I really doubt people will start using it an an "excuse" en masse.

Yeah I’m generally not comfortable telling people in game I have a disability in part because I was bullied growing up, I have ADHD and aspergers and my hand eye cordnation isn’t great so a lot of times it will take me longer to learn fights in the end I do learn them. I was freaking kicked out of my first try on the first boss of the orborune monastery on the day it came out because I guess I died too much? But I kept at it and kept quing and I learned the mechanics and cleared it on the day it came out. I just hate the thought that just because someone is doing badly means they aren’t trying, some of us ARE trying it just takes us more pratice than others.

Also to the guy whose friend cleared ultimate with one foot and one eye that is a very impressive accomplishment and I have great respect for him being able to do that, but please realize not all disabilities are the same a physical disability is not the same as a learning disability.

[Cled-cat]

The lack of empathy demonstrated here by some users is pretty telling that they come from a place of privilege and probably don’t care one bit about the struggles of others the moment it’s inconvenient to them. I get it, we don’t care about random internet weirdos who waste our time, that’s understandable, but when it starts to cross into judging disabled players as a whole I’d love to see some of you people say this stuff in your workplace or most other places in real life, since I doubt you’d do that. There can be disabled players who put barely any effort in and are just trash people like able bodied/minded people, sure. But painting the vast majority of disabled people with a very broad brush is an incredibly dangerous and disrespectful game.

If someone is refusing to take advice, disabled or not, you’re allowed to kick them, so stop whining on here about how the mean disabled people wasted your time and move on. If they’re really trying to learn and are doing their best than that’s what this conversation is about. Adding easier modes for some story missions or accessibility isn’t going to destroy the game, calm down.

Do NOT conflate bottom of the barrel players who happen to be disabled with all disabled players and play styles, that’s the only straw man I’ve seen here so far.

[Kuroka]

I completely sympathize with what you're saying. But to be honest, I'd say that having a disability doesn't even matter much for this. People should understand either way that not everyone will go at the same pace as them.

Yes but thats true for both sides, if youre gear is so low you cant rly beat the fight bc you were gone for a year+ you dont rly need to beat it within the first hour of returning... Its fine being slow but to lower the bar below the floor bc you dont wanna get stuf for even jsut a few hours is more then selfish.

Listen im the last one to go all "you suck so i'll kick you/leave", usually i try no matter how much a group sucks. Its ok bein slow but dont dumb down for everyone then... just take some time and itll be ok too...

[YatoShishi]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogCRNvghbiw this legend plays with his feet.

[SerLuke]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogCRNvghbiw this legend plays with his feet.

That is very impressive, I guess I should have distinguished learning disabilities from physical disabilities in my post, different disabilities affect different people in different ways. My point was simply just because someone is struggling and learning content slower than most people doesn’t mean they are “bad and not bothering to improve”.

[Schan]

That is very impressive, I guess I should have distinguished learning disabilities from physical disabilities in my post, different disabilities affect different people in different ways. My point was simply just because someone is struggling and learning content slower than most people doesn’t mean they are “bad and not bothering to improve”.

Maybe i've missed it but all i've seen is people complaining about people who are bad and don't bother to improve regardless if they're disabled or not. Where did this "if you're disabled then you are bad and don't bother to improve" notion came from? The issue is people's attitude when comfronted with hardship. Some people are disabled and indeed use their disability as an excuse whereas others try to do their best and not be defined by their disability.

People are people which means you get good apples and bad apples regardless of personal circumstances. There are disabled people who play better than me out there.

Considering the outright contempt people have for those with disabilities in real life I really doubt people will start using it an an "excuse" en masse.

You poor sweet summer child. Maybe not en masse no, but that does exist. Again people come in all different flavours.

[Awha]

As someone who is on the spectrum and suffers from various learning disabilities I must say I personally lose my shit when people treat me differently due outside factors. I say it on the forums because this is not the character or server I play on, but in game I keep it to myself mostly outside close friends.

I personally feel it is unreasonable to expect a group of strangers to put up with one mistakes because of outside factors. Sure it sucks, but by no means should it be the norm to base poor play on the assumption of a disability. I get that is not what the OP is asking for but it still annoys me personally when people try to use their disability as an excuse everyone simply must accept. No person or disability is entitled to special treatment in my opinion, it is nice when it oucers, and one could argue it is the right thing to do. Does not mean we should expect it, and the end of the day each role has a responsibility and in group play no matter the reason not pulling your own weight based around the groups standards is never okay even if the reason is out of your control. Strangers are not friends or family they have no obligation to cater to a person becsuse of a disability or preference.