Tales from Duty Finder: Some make you laugh, some make you cry. Let's vent.

[Dualblade]

A reminder to all DPS and Healers in this game: The first rule of not getting hit is to not stand with the Main Tank up front. You will die if you do that. More so if I have been tanking the boss the exact same direction outside of when they turn for their own mechanics.

I can survive, you can't. So adjust

[KaleShibata]

that can happen when you run at an angle. the chains break when you go in opposite directions. and its harder to do when you start off farther apart. or have to dodge which in that instance happens frequently

Just for the record we turned and ran total straight line opposite of each other. still held. to this day im not sure if it was just bug or bad moment of code for the game. never happened again to me personally after tha

Edit: also to clarify, we had over half the boss room worth of distance to begin with...there was no reason it shouldn't have broken.
Eh...its whatever. weird crap happens frequently to me some days. that was just one of em

[SenorPatty]

Dzemael Darkhold in roulette, on machinist. Used Blank to knock one of the spirit enemies into the trash pack for better AOE.

Tank: You're the first person I've ever seen doing that, good idea.
Me: I aim to please.
Healer: Points for good idea but you lost it for the pun

Still got a comm for it, though.

I would've groaned so hard at that pun


And then promptly give you a comm out of a strange grudging respect for it.

[Nononu]

Almost wiped 3 times to Mamool Ja Ja, because the healer was too busy attacking and not paying attention to the doom debuff.

I had to physick myself like crazy, and anyone else who got the doom debuff, to clear it myself, as SMN. Let me tell you, my physicks are shit with full casting gear.

And yes, it was a mechanic we explained beforehand.

[Nononu]

Qarn hard. Not the worst dungeon for me, but 2nd boss gives me nightmares a bit. There was that one time where I swear, she was counting her 99,999 needle right as we stopped her. The cast bar was so close to finishing. Puckered, I tell you...

ANYWAY...

I queue in as my little bebe WHM. Tank big pulls. This is fine. I wait til they establish aggro, cure1 + regen (usually I just pop regen, but they seem to be taking a lot of damage), holy, and then do what ever else I might have to do - either top them off or start aero doting.

Second big pull. We... we wipe. My benediction doesn't go off on the tank, I don't know why. I apologize, I'm a little flabbergasted. This exchange:

Me: Sorry;;
DPS 1: its ok friend
DPS 2: not ur fault
DPS 1: good ol drk skills
Tank: 0 enmity tank coming through
DPS 2: pls turn on grit for pulls ;_;
Tank: don't have it on my bar
Me: -inner voice- oh god help me
DPS 1: i beg u pls

We almost wipe again but tank living deads and I do get my bene off this time and just am able to manage it better. It's fine, because the DPS are both RDM, so yanno. Things aren't melting - they're exploding into little buttery chunks.

The sabotender queen counter thing can't even get past counting to 25,000. That's just... insane to me.

We get to the final boss and I suddenly notice that DPS 2 is naked.

Not glamoured with the emperor's new set.

This DPS has taken off ALL HIS ARMOR. Not his accessories, just.

Just his armor.

Me: -inner voice- JESUS PLEASE TAKE THE WHEEL.

I just - guys, my brain shuts down again. I IMMEDIATELY get 4 stacks (I SWEAR, I AM GOOD AT THIS GAME...) and get mummified. Tank pops living dead as I'm running around, I come out of it just in time to bene, and raise the dead naked DPS, because of course he got chewed on and died immediately.

Then Jesus took the wheel and I blacked out. Honestly, I did. When I came back, we had finished it and everyone was fine, upright. I must have healed them fine. Walked out of there with 2 comms and most of the loot. -shrug emoji-

On the one hand, it was actually kind of hilarious and fun. On the other, PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS. Please just don't. If you want to have fun in instances, I'm all for it, but DON'T do it to randoms in DF/PF, ESPECIALLY random tanks or healers. They may be new and your shenanigans may give them anxiety.

Edit:

guys.

guys i can't.

i am physically. unable to even.

wanderer's palace, hard.

we wipe on first boss because our dps is so low. it shouldn't be so low... not with two SMNs... maybe... the gear...?

...one summoner... is... he has 45 gloves... and other bits and bobs that just... aren't... good...

it's... fine... we... push ahead... second boss goes... ehn.. okay...

ja ja... i tried. guys. i tried. i think we fought him for 10 minutes before it just got to be too much for my mp... i had no more cds... i had nothing guys... so we wiped and my mind just went... blank... because i tried so hard...

...second attempt we got him but guys.

i am broken...

[Rhesha_filia]

Keeper of the Lake for 50/60.

Healer goes "NO <Sword Oath>". Even during Bosses. I was PLD.

Was VERY tempted to say "<Regen><Please use it>", but hey I don't pay his sub. If he wants to stand there and cast Stone and Cure II all day, be my guest. He had full ilvl 400 gear except for Anima weapon.

Died twice to boss and twice to single pull mobs. Nope'd right out of there. Sorry DPS, you wouldn't AOE either, so have fun.

[Khorchi]

I feel like I need to reach through the screen and slap people.

Levelling up my BLM and do MSQ and got Castrum. Everything goes great until Livia in the Magitek Armour.

The DRG decided to call out the SCH for "standing in the corner" and "the fight wouldve gone faster of they did anything other than nothing".
Where was the SCH standing, you might ask?
Next to the missile loader.

Loading the missiles. Which I was shooting at Livia.

You know... Doing the basic mechanic of that fight.

After Livia died in the final fight, I ended up saying "Nice work to call out someone who was at least trying to do mechanics" and left. I have zero patience left for people who criticise others for actually playing the game correctly.
Because of this, my blacklist has almost tripled since the moogle event began.

[gumas]

just had a DF party on bardham dungeon. good gawd the healer... i swear the healer is probably controlled by someone else who never play FF14 (or even play mmorpg at all)

he just keep healing everyone with cure 1 or cure 2 thats it. no aoe heal, no regen, no ogcd nothing, even when all of us drop below 50% he just keep cure 1 or 2 until his mp out. we told him to use regen and the aoe (medica since whm) and the guy just casually said "i dont see any on the panels), at this time all of us especially the dps just went extra careful with red circle so healer can just focus on tank.

and worse part is he move and look around without mouse and still on default control, so its wasd as in forward backward rotate left and right (i set my A and D as strafe not rotate). at first i though he was lagging, but after a while i noticed his movement is weird like... RE tank control, so he move and when he need to turn, he slowly "rotate" to that path then start moving and when he need to run back, instead of the usual instantly turn back and run, he just move backward slowly while still looking forward because the target lockon (i think certain control type on char config can do this, i forgot) when we ask him again he said that he's not used with this control and his mouse is glue on skill panels (so he is pure clicking instead of using hotkeys)

you can imagine everyone frustration. when everything is over, everyone just leave not saying anything, cant fault them since it took us a little over an hour to finally finish the dungeon.

iam surprised none of us try to kick him though

[Aosha]

Aery. Got a French Bard.
No DoTs despite requests in chat.
All songs blown at once despite an explanation in chat (autotranslate (song name) - 30 (second) - (song name) - 30 (second) etc).
Quick Nock and Rain of Death in single target.
LB on pop on bosses (we had a Ninja too).
No Refresh.
No dodging of attacks or any attempt to do any mechanics whatsoever.
No killing the Sable Prices in the last boss (the Ninja burned the one imprisoning me no problem, when the Ninja was trapped the DRK came over to help me, apparently noticing the Bard not being helpful).
The NIN and DRK were at least competent so the run didn't take forever...
sigh

[Endeleon]

just had a DF party on bardham dungeon. good gawd the healer... i swear the healer is probably controlled by someone else who never play FF14 (or even play mmorpg at all)

he just keep healing everyone with cure 1 or cure 2 thats it. no aoe heal, no regen, no ogcd nothing, even when all of us drop below 50% he just keep cure 1 or 2 until his mp out. we told him to use regen and the aoe (medica since whm) and the guy just casually said "i dont see any on the panels), at this time all of us especially the dps just went extra careful with red circle so healer can just focus on tank.

and worse part is he move and look around without mouse and still on default control, so its wasd as in forward backward rotate left and right (i set my A and D as strafe not rotate). at first i though he was lagging, but after a while i noticed his movement is weird like... RE tank control, so he move and when he need to turn, he slowly "rotate" to that path then start moving and when he need to run back, instead of the usual instantly turn back and run, he just move backward slowly while still looking forward because the target lockon (i think certain control type on char config can do this, i forgot) when we ask him again he said that he's not used with this control and his mouse is glue on skill panels (so he is pure clicking instead of using hotkeys)

you can imagine everyone frustration. when everything is over, everyone just leave not saying anything, cant fault them since it took us a little over an hour to finally finish the dungeon.

iam surprised none of us try to kick him though

Though I have never heard of bots in dungeons that high level, that definitely sounds like a bot. They are programmed to just spam cure I and II, and always move exactly as you described...