It isn't anymore odd than the player who gets upset when another player is trying to help them. The thing is though, if you need to ask for a basic level of contribution as a result of underperforming, it means the run is not going well. It typically means one or multiple players are forcing the others to work harder than they should have to, and this is clear and cut when it is the case. This is much different than interrupting the run to try and optimize someone's rotation, reiterate tooltips, or some other mundane task that will actually add even more time to the run than if you just let it slide. You have to choose your battles.
When tanking for an FC buddy last weekend to help her get some tomes, we came across an AST in Castrum Abania that was underperforming. After several deaths that ended up leading to a couple of wipes, I had to stop the run and ask her if she was having issues, because there was no way we were going to clear the dungeon at the rate things were going. This is an example of when it is ok because it was necessitated, unlike when someone is simply dissatisfied with how someone is playing. In her response she apologized, and said she would try to do better, but understood if we wanted to kick her. I told her of course not! I told her I was a healer main, offered a few tips, and it was a night and day difference. Got through the rest of the dungeon without a hitch, and she thanked and hugged me before leaving.
Now I know receptive players like that are not in abundance, but neither is the patience I showed her. I've advised many players inside duties, and I have never received a lashing from any of them. If they feel attacked, they will attack.
Totally understandable. But the risk has not changed. It was always a risk to critique another player during an instance, which is why I never do so unless absolutely necessary. Otherwise I've always just rolled with the punches, and accepted that DF is a total role of the dice. It is not my job or obligation to improve the gameplay of other players. This is something they have to do, and will pursue to do all on their own.They just make me want to interact with people less often because it’s easier to drop them and never tell them that they could get better.
I’d now sooner ghost a player than help them improve. And I’ve never been abrasive when doing this. People have regularly been resistant to help since the start for whatever reason, and it’s for that reason there is now just a “risk” involved with nearly any interaction.