Diversion may have a 2 minute cooldown, but it has a 30 second duration of 90% enmity reduction—proper use during an opener or a burst would have prevented a lot of the aggro jumping we’d had. DRG also has a skill that halves enmity every 30 seconds. Sure, you may have to briefly disengage, but proper timing still means very little loss in terms of damage. Far less than you would lose if you died and were raised with 90 seconds of Weakness.
MNK also has an enmity dump in the form of Purification, though I believe its on a longer cooldown than 30 seconds. However, Byakko has enough downtime to weave in both and still lose very little. In the case of this party, it was 100% the DRG at fault, as they used neither save for Elusive Jump one time during a wipe, not during either time we cleared even though they complained about aggro—all the other DPS were actively rotating Diversion, and had never ripped. I was rolling BRD and still never ripped from either tank, despite being on a job notorious for aggro generation—because I was properly rotating both Refresh and Tactician around my bursts and when his aggro would reset (it resets after every State of Shock).
Better to use Diversion than not at all.
And always better to not lie about using it.
While I can acknowledge that PLD has crappy aggro generation, especially snap aggro, the only time WARs or DRKs that know their job should struggle with hate is if they are vastly overgeared by the DPS. Then they may have to go into stance every once in a while. But the only DPS that matched or outgeared the tanks in that party was me. And, again, I didn’t have any problems with hate. But I’m also not lazy enough to not use my enmity tools. Some players just are, and they want the tanks to do the work instead of pressing a single button.
You’re right that sometimes it’s not the DPS’ fault. But, in this situation, it was.