Don't ask, don't tell - Relationship Thought Experiment

[Magic-Mal]

Does it really matter what I think?

Sure it does!

I don’t really assume people’s gender based on how they talk because people have all types of different speech patterns. I don’t really assume genders at all because I simply don’t care to - it’s really none of my business, especially with strangers that I just debate with on here. And whether or not people believe I’m actually a female in real life or whether I believe them doesn’t really matter when it comes to forum discussions. But when it comes to relationships, that’s a completely separate matter.

Didn't really answer my question but it's not like you have to and you made your stance clear so, that's that.

What stigma? That people lie? What are you even getting at?

The stigma surrounding catfishers, female characters and female players, at least in XIV.

My comment I posted is completely with regards to myself. Just because I know there are liars doesn’t mean there’s some pervasive stigma. This isn’t me saying I believe everyone I meet lies, either; it is me saying that I generally don’t take much of what an individual says at more than face value until I feel I can trust them. People build trust at different paces. But this is all irrelevant when it comes to a forum discussion, and far more relevant when it comes to things like the matters being discussed here.

I believe there are liars because I have met them - several in this game alone - and, unlike some, I only speak for myself here with regards to personal things like this.

To each their own then!

[Senn]

Can someone explain to me what OP is trying to say in five sentences or less?

[SargentToughie]

Can someone explain to me what OP is trying to say in five sentences or less?

Sure, I got you fam.

"You should get catfished so that you can feel like a real man."

[Senn]

Sure, I got you fam.

"You should get catfished so that you can feel like a real man."

Thanks man

[Crystal_Raven]

It seems very irrational to assume that if you have 100 individuals claiming to be girls, the majority of them are doing so to trick people, or to scam gil out of people, etc.

Not really no, that's actually the more rational conclusion.

Are you new to MMO's or something? There's no other way to explain the statement you just made other than you being new to MMOs.

[Ilan]

Sexism, entitlement and transphobia. We are still on the XIV official forums, right?

Yes we are but what did you expect of people?

[Sigma-Astra]

Why would a straight male pretend to be a female character to form a long-term-relationship with another male online?
If a guy is straight, they aren't going to want to date a guy....

I mean if they are doing it for gil, then the issue isn't people disclosing their gender. It's people using other people. Because a "real girl" could just as easily take advantage of a guy for gil the exact same way. But this post specifically talks about gender. So it's obviously not that.

Uh....I'm a female playing a female character and my fiance is a straight male that also plays a female character in-game. Apparently, everyone else that doesn't know about our RL genders assumes we're lesbians together.

I think your theory is a little off the wall right now. There's nothing wrong with straight makes playing female characters, actually, there's nothing wrong with anyone playing whatever damn gender that they want. I think people read way too much into what gender someone else is playing and what their actual gender is.

This isn't a dating website. We've got plenty of those out there.

[AriaFairchild]

Hmm I find that example slightly more far fetched than a relationship online.

Over the years I've met several couples that were in either long relationships with one another or married who first met while playing games online.

Granted it's not common and not for everyone but it has happened far more than finding a Nigerian prince

Because banking your hope on an online relationship with completely strangers turned out to be such a smart thing to do recently. *rolls eyes*

There is a reason that it's not common practice.

Sure, my example was on the dramatique side.

[Azurymber]

Uh....I'm a female playing a female character and my fiance is a straight male that also plays a female character in-game. Apparently, everyone else that doesn't know about our RL genders assumes we're lesbians together.

I think your theory is a little off the wall right now. There's nothing wrong with straight makes playing female characters, actually, there's nothing wrong with anyone playing whatever damn gender that they want. I think people read way too much into what gender someone else is playing and what their actual gender is.

This isn't a dating website. We've got plenty of those out there.

I think you and a lot of people are misreading what I am saying.

I'm saying there aren't many guys who tell all their friends "hey I'm a girl", flirt with guys as a girl, date someone as a girl, then suddenly say "i'm actually a guy, I just lied to everyone because i'm gay/want gil".

If someone online is telling their entire social circle that they are a certain gender, -usually- it means they are that gender (whether they are cisgender, trans, etc).

[Azurymber]

Not really no, that's actually the more rational conclusion.

Are you new to MMO's or something? There's no other way to explain the statement you just made other than you being new to MMOs.

No, I just recognize that usually when someone is non-rp representing themselves as a certain gender online to everyone they know, they are doing it because it's more comfortable to just be themselves online (even if they can't be that way in real life).

So far the only 2 reasons I've seen anyone in this thread put forth for why a "male" would "pretend" to be female to date someone (other than that they are actually female inside) is that:

1. they are gay and trying to trick straight people into dating them (which honestly seems like a pretty "gays are evil watch out" homophobic argument).

2. they want to use people for gil (in which case, why does it matter that they end up being a guy. As girls could easily use people for gil as well and it would be just as bad).