It is possible to not only disable the tell noise, but also filter it out entirely or limit it to specific tabs.

This can be done by going to Character Config > Log Window Settings.

For disabling the ping: Log window Setting > Notification Sounds Tab > Uncheck Tell > Accept > Done.

For filtering out tell completely or to specific tabs: Log window settings > General(very bottom) > Select Chat Tab > Check/Uncheck > Apply > Done

An appear offline option would only hurt the game. These are enough. So if you get tell spammed you can just ignore them entirely or just not look in the tab you have them set to. The same can be done for ANY type of chat log channel(FC, Alliance, Say, etc). The only chat logs that are exempt from these options are GM tells and Game notifications(maintence, emergency maintence, etc).

If this does not satisfy you then I'm sorry, but too bad. You gotta work with what you got.