I do not miss the hanging around places with party requests in other games, and I certainly wouldn't want that curse on this or any future MMO.
The problem is the DF/PF are not connected in a way that encourages people to join a party that is -just there- already. At 2.0 release, I queued for the first dungeon and thought the thing was broken because it was just there for hours. So I partied with the next person who came by. That was repeated up until Haukke.
The problem is that other games (eg PSO2 and Wizardry were terrible for this) are just "hub" cities, there's no actual overworld. The entire focus of those games are specific content, and thus everyone hangs out on certain channels of the hub city. Vindictus (Mabinogi Heroes) also did this.
WoW, Star Trek Online, Star Wars: The Old Republic, Tera, Blade and Soul, and a few other K/JRPG's I tried with the exception of Archeage don't have "hub cities" that people hang out in. You keep moving from an area to another area, eg the level 10 world to the level 20 world, to the level 30 world, etc. Thus you find the people you need to party with along the way to do the progression content. Some older games I played like Everquest, RedMoon Online, Ragnarok Online and NexusTK, has heavily congested "city" areas around the shop areas where you progress your character's role.
FFXIV has none of these, as the areas require significant backtracking to complete. You go from whatever place you start in, visit all 5 regions of the ARR storyline, and unless you do all your jobs at the same time, you will backtrack through these areas every time you level from 1-50 in a new job. Thus there is no reason for people to hang around an area. Mor Dhona was the "end game" area because that's where the entrance to the ARR Raids were. So it made sense to stick around there.
With HW and SB, you don't spend all your time in these areas, you backtrack and go into places you've been to before.
If all the game had was raids, then none of the overworld would need to exist. Thus everyone would just be in the same city, and you'd have your "server community".
But the reality is that the Duty finder was a vast improvement over previous games methods of party finding which required hours of begging people to help. That is why other games wound up making so much content solo for their storylines, it's literately impossible to have people interested in doing content they've already done, and players just don't want to help do easy content.
In Mabinogi, I became known as the person who could get people past all the "Ideal Types" quests back in G2, and someone who could transport people back to Tir Na Nog. This was back when the game was still on G6 before they streamlined the quests chain. This was the largest obstacle in the game because, it required people to actually help, and people just didn't want to help. I kept all the gear to do the ideal types at the expense of not changing my character's appearance for quite a while. When they released the Royal Alchemist stuff, that was a lot like the Novice Network Roulette for that game. Except you had to actually earn it. Constantly.
This is a lesson that all MMORPG developers had to learn the hard way. You can not make storyline content party-mandatory, because players will get MSQ-locked waiting for people who are willing to do it. And we see this variation in the MSQ roulette with the cutscene lock.
The largest obstacle to having any kind of server community is actually how the linkshells and FC's work. If you want everyone to hang out in one or two areas, you have to make it so that the linkshells and FC's have a reason to not be used for regular conversations, and even in other games, that just isn't a thing. Usually the central hangout in a game is where the bank is. There is no bank in FFXIV, there's the FC chest and there's the retainer bells. The mailbox is often the place where RMT hang out.
FFXIV would have to remove all of these things and place them where they want players to go, and then it would be a RMT target hell. Perhaps in 5.0 they will realize the folly of this and remove the FC chests from all of the 2.x areas, and all the retainer bells, and make it so that the retainer bells are only in the housing areas central hub or in the house, and the FC chests are only inside the Squadron barracks and inside houses. A mistake that was caught between Rapture and 1.0 beta was that the Aetherytes were originally going to be in the middle of the adventurer guilds, but that would make those places super-congested. So they moved them. You can see the remains of these in how Ul'dah and Limsa Lominsa adventurer's guilds are designed with a large space in the middle.
There were the areas originally intended for players to gather, and yet... they're basically abandoned. Nobody hangs them. Rather people hang around the Marketboards if they're crafting, otherwise they're off in their house or AFK inside the inn room or squadron barracks.
Like perhaps the ideal thing would be to remove the "servers" entirely as a thing, and rather let players toggle which "instance" of that zone they want to go to, and for underpopulated areas, there would be no need for more than one instance channel. It would essentially self-balance, and in congested zones it would spin up additional instances. Housing areas would still be defined by the server they are on, so one server couldn't buy housing on another without moving there. The retainers and marketboard would likewise be held to only their server. Players would not be permitted to trade items between players on other servers except through specific escrow npc's that would impose limits on the number of transactions and would not permit trading items or gil to players that if the item is available on their own marketboard.