A Plea to the FFXIV OF Community

[Kewitt]

The issue, Is ffxiv really goes in cycles. This 1 dungeon no progression odd patch is not good for the game.
I'm playing only about 2-4 hours a week which started about 3 weeks before this patch. I love the story, I love the challange. Sadly... There isn't enough content to keep me interested in the game right now. I've even slowly making my way through the 2.x relic on a level 70 quest. And damn it the book phase should be only 4 books at this point 9 is stupid....
Anyways. Ya I have max 270 gear on my Tank not including the weapon, and my healer and DPS jobs I care about are able to do all current content. So ya with 3 sets of eurika gear.. and some raid gear and upgraded gear... There isn't much in this patch for me to work for.
I normally take a break from mmos about 1-2 months 2 times a years. to avoid burn out. however. It seems every odd patch there isn't much happening. Yes Eurika was fun. But it fun factor was gone quickly.

I would really like a Relic quest like that took nearly a 2/3 of a patch to finish, but it be BIS next patch.

IE a weekly quest that upgraded it weekly after 10 weeks of doing the quest it was bis, IE lets say weapon started at 330 I level. The stats over 10 weeks of doing a weekly quest, upped the stats by 1 ilevel every week but wasn't bis till week 10 but got stronger each week.. VS work work work.. Bam upgraded 2nd bis.
This would still give raiders a reason to raid because they are normally clearing Raids 1-2 weeks after content comes out. or keep ultima content BIS and 8 main raid tied with BIS.

[BillyKaplan]

I'll back off when people like Isaac stop calling anxious people selfish.

Can they be selfish? Yes. Does it mean they are selfish as a cause? NO.

Oh hey.

The funny thing is that they also didn't. They called anxiety selfish which is a point you also conceded. And it's not wrong. Between how tunnel-visioned I get sometimes when it hits, and how little spoons I have to spend on anyone else when all I can do is breathe into a paper-bag and fumble for my medicine...

That aside, for all we know, Issac is also dealing with anxiety, the way they experience it, describe it, and deal with it differs from yours, and because of that you're basically going to hound them, after attesting to helping someone who suffered similar treatment.

[Sigma-Astra]

snip

Are you sure you're posting this in the right thread...?

[HyoMinPark]

Oh hey.

The funny thing is that they also didn't. They called anxiety selfish which is a point you also conceded. And it's not wrong. Between how tunnel-visioned I get sometimes when it hits, and how little spoons I have to spend on anyone else when all I can do is breathe into a paper-bag and fumble for my medicine...

That aside, for all we know, Issac is also dealing with anxiety, the way they experience it, describe it, and deal with it differs from yours, and because of that you're basically going to hound them, after attesting to helping someone who suffered similar treatment.

Perhaps it was just a poor choice of words.

I don’t consider anxious feelings as selfish or self-centered feelings. Sometimes they just cannot be helped. Maybe some of them are irrational, and I think a lot of people with anxiety and depression are sometimes lucid enough to realize that their feelings are irrational. But that doesn’t equate to them being selfish or self-centered. The choice of words almost sounds as if it’s intended to push blame onto the anxious person for feeling the way they do: “selfish” has a negative sort of connotation to it that others may interpret as “you’re being selfish feeling the way you do; how dare you”. Whether this was the poster’s intended message, I cannot say. Nor am I saying that it is; just saying that, that is how it can be interpreted.

Sometimes people that are feeling anxious and/or depressed feel like they are nothing more than a burden to others with these feelings, causing them to internalize them even more and share them with no one. Which then causes its own set of problems—self-isolation out of a fear of being a burden and/or an annoyance just accentuates your already-present feelings of being alone.

[BillyKaplan]

Perhaps it was just a poor choice of words.

I agree it's problematic but I'm not sure I'd call it 'poor'. Even Neph said it themselves - it's selfish. No, not by virtue of selfishness, but instinct and a survival drive and your brain short-circuiting on you.

Nor am I saying that it is; just saying that, that is how it can be interpreted.

And that I'm fully onboard with and I agree. But at the same time, some people - like me - don't mind it and it even helps us. Realizing I'm being -selfish-, thinking too much about myself, helps me get out of my headspace for a while. Forces me to shift focus, do something else, change perspectives. And many times, people who can't do anything for themselves would do it for other people, so calling it selfish can actually give people a very strong drive to get help, because they realize doing so would help the people they care for.
That said, I agree that to many, the term could be harmful and that's why there should be a debate about it, absolutely. Both approaches should be heard and each will take what works for them. For many in this thread, that obviously wasn't the case. I'm a counter example.

Sometimes people that are feeling anxious and/or depressed feel like they are nothing more than a burden to others with these feelings, causing them to internalize them even more and share them with no one. Which then causes its own set of problems—self-isolation out of a fear of being a burden and/or an annoyance just accentuates your already-present feelings of being alone.

Oh, do I know that. All too well. But to me, what helped wasn't telling myself I wasn't being selfish, it was - it's ok to be selfish once in a while. No one can go on without ever being selfish and needy. That's why people form social groups, that's why we make friends and why we try at the very least to have family as a basic unit. So that when we need them, we can be selfish enough to rely on them.
Again, I agree that the word has negative connotations. And there are people who are harmfully selfish and they go from just being jerks to being outright toxic. But still, within the framing of this context, I'd rather reclaim the word than condemn it.

[NephthysVasudan]

Oh hey.

The funny thing is that they also didn't. They called anxiety selfish which is a point you also conceded. And it's not wrong. Between how tunnel-visioned I get sometimes when it hits, and how little spoons I have to spend on anyone else when all I can do is breathe into a paper-bag and fumble for my medicine...

That aside, for all we know, Issac is also dealing with anxiety, the way they experience it, describe it, and deal with it differs from yours, and because of that you're basically going to hound them, after attesting to helping someone who suffered similar treatment.

Putting words into my mouth is a bad idea.

Learn to read...don't make assumptions. I stand by what i said.

[HyoMinPark]

it's ok to be selfish once in a while

I certainly agree that it is okay to be selfish once in a while. I think that is one thing that can truly help people overcome episode of anxiety if they allow themselves to be “selfish” for once and seek help for their problems, rather than concerning themselves with being selfless for the sake of whomever they are wanting to turn to (by this, I mean not considering themselves a burden to their confidante). After all, you make your own happiness. I just cannot really agree with the semantics of calling anxious thoughts and feelings “selfish”—with regards to how the term is usually used (which tends to be negatively). If that makes any sense.


I could think of a slightly better suggestion to combating anxiety as opposed to getting a job or doing random acts of kindness: just get outside. Honestly, sometimes when I feel anxious, I just wish that I could get out of the house (not always easy if they hit me at like 1am). The times when I do get out and go for a drive or a walk or just sit in my yard, I tend to feel better. Almost like I can breathe again.

Granted, what works for one doesn’t necessarily work for others. So it’s up to you to find out what works for you.

[BillyKaplan]

If that makes any sense.

It does, no worries. But semantics and self definition oftentimes make a big change with how people cope with things. That's why the backlash here bothered me so much, I respect a lot of people shy away from the word, but not all of us do, and to some that phrase even helps. Because of the negative connotation, despite it. It's really 'to each their own' situation, just like how anxiety and depression themselves manifest so differently between people.

[LalaRu]

At least the OP wanted share her/his toughts about the personal issue. That is a good thing. I think s/he will be good soon. Gambatte!

[HyoMinPark]

It's really 'to each their own' situation, just like how anxiety and depression themselves manifest so differently between people.

It is. Same with treatment options. For me, throwing myself into a task (like a job) is good enough only to distract me from the issue at hand; but it doesn’t make it go away, nor make it easier for myself to breathe, because I’m just pushing something else onto me to block out the anxieties. That’s why I suggested something along the lines of just going outside—be it for a walk or a drive or just sitting in your yard. Honestly, one of my toughest patches was last spring, and one thing I actually did was go outside during a rain shower and just stand there for several minutes. The relief was, sadly, fleeting, but I was actually able to breathe for the first time in several weeks after doing that. Same thing about a week and a half ago I went out for a drive at 11pm (not really recommended because it can be dangerous, but I needed air), and I felt better just getting out.

I feel like there have been studies that show Vitamin D is good for relieving anxieties. Hence why I recommend some sunlight and fresh air.

This is a classic case of personal advise. A lot of people have social anxiety and that could make it worse. Some people are scared of actually being outside. It's subjective to the point where the advice you give is just as likely to cause harm than good. Classic Schrodinger case

Which is why I also said, what works for me may not work for other people, and that they have to find what works for them. The suggestion of a job/task or random acts of kindness are not things that make me feel less anxious.

Please do not omit where I said that.