Unfaithful FC mates ANNOY me...

[Iscah]

Honestly, I can\\'t come up with a reason why they\\'d leave that is in anyway MY fault. A lot of them showed great enthusiasm with joining and I heavily socialized with them for an hour! We got as far as getting to know personal details about each other. And then mysteriously, the next day, POOF! They leave

It baffles me...

And if you\\'re gonna tell me "dude, they left because they got creeped out with you getting to know personal details about them", then let me just say... No. I did not ask for their phone number and address. I\\'m invasive but not THAT invasive. lol

If you approach people the way this post makes it sound, then you are most likely scaring people off with your attempts to be welcoming. Especially if you think the boundary of "too invasive" is actual contact details.

If I've just joined the FC and you immediately go into a deep one-on-one "social conversation" for an hour, I'm going to be uncomfortable. Small talk is awkward and you're a complete stranger. (Plus I've had to put aside whatever I was actually doing in the game when I received and accepted the FC invite, and I might be wanting to get back to it.)

If you start asking questions about me, that's a red flag. Why do you want to know this? I don't know you, I don't know your motives and I certainly don't want to be sharing that information with someone I've just met. It's cybersafety 101.

I would most likely be quietly leaving the FC at the first possible opportunity, without announcing it lest I have to engage in further conversation as to why. Aside of generally wanting to avoid the confrontation, if you actually *did* have ulterior motives for asking personal questions then it's a matter of personal safety and common sense to not have any further involvement.



When people join the FC that I'm part of, we say hello, welcome them, tell them to ask if they have questions or need help - and that's all. They might choose to engage us in conversation, or they might just be quiet and listen for a while until they're ready to join in, but it's their choice.



Also if you're going into your interactions with the mindset (as you seem to describe in your first post) that you're giving up your valuable time for this person and they should be grateful.... well, that's not really a fair relationship, and it may well come across in the way you talk to people even if you think you're being friendly. They haven't asked for your time and they don't owe you anything. Engage with people because you like them and want to spend that time with them, not because you think you're making a deal and they should 'repay' you for your attention.

Edit to add: You "value your time", but so does the other person, and you've spent their time just as much as yours by engaging them in conversation - except you chose to do so, and they may have only responded to be polite.