"Toxic"? or Just advice you don't want to hear?

[Ageofwar]

But when you get a SCH in Doma Castle who never heals the tank at all and tries to let Selene handle the whole thing while they spam Broil? Soon as the tank dies more than once because of it, that's kind of a problem...

My issue is that I play RDM which last time I looked was a DPS role with a single heal (which is quite a good heal) and I'm expected to pick up the slack from the slacking SCH

[Stormfur]

I don't mind helping out the healer when I'm RDM. Like if they're low on mana, I'll shoot them some more, or try to heal if they're struggling to keep up. But my primary job is to DPS.

As far as toxicity goes, I don't play all classes, so I can't really comment on some of them, but I try to give constructive, kind criticism. If they read it as toxic, that's on them, not me.

[Leadleaf]

I've had accusations of "being mad" and being told to "calm down" when I know I've only been correcting what had went wrong in the previous wipe on certain primals without any "tone". Although it's only been two or three times on my astrope achievement. I mostly think it's some defense mechanism to distract from their screwing up, I usually ignored it and didn't allow the distraction to grow.

[Talraen]

Honestly I think the problem here isn't the tone, it's the advice. "You should use Holy more" is not always good advice. I main WHM and from what you said I'm willing to bet I don't use Holy as much as you'd want me to. If you told me to use Holy more in a dungeon, I'd probably be annoyed too.

[Nora_of_Mira]

Honestly I think the problem here isn't the tone, it's the advice. "You should use Holy more" is not always good advice. I main WHM and from what you said I'm willing to bet I don't use Holy as much as you'd want me to. If you told me to use Holy more in a dungeon, I'd probably be annoyed too.

I'm in the boat of "What advice isn't annoying?".

[Talraen]

I'm in the boat of "What advice isn't annoying?".

Genuinely novel advice is usually appreciated, I think. It gets annoying when you tell people something they already know, and right or wrong, they've already decided whether or not to do.

[Bourne_Endeavor]

It depends how you go about offering advice. If you said something along the lines of, "I have CDs up, feel free to Holy spam." And they get hostile. Yeah, they're being rude. If you continuously poke and prod them over every little thing, it's unlikely to get the desired results.

[Aivi_lo]

I guess it depends on how strong you come across... "There is one way to play this game, you must play it my way", "you are dog it wrong", "why don't you do this"... Maybe they know and they've chosen to try something else to break up the boredom ... I don't know, some of the best times I've had in dungeons are when people are just having fun, like one dungeon I went into the tank changed into a bikini to see how far they could get, or when I was starting to tank, a healer wanted to see how low they could let my health go before they heal me, so I did huge pulls lol. People seem just to want to run things as fast as possible, rather than play the game for fun

[ThirdChild_ZKI]

Let me just clarify something:

Someone giving you advice, or correcting a bad/poor/wrongful play or behavior isn't an elitist trying to push you around and ruin your day. Not even if they're harsh in their observations.

An elitist will point out what you're doing wrong and offer nothing in the way of advice, or through putting you down, glorify themselves.

I guess it depends on how strong you come across... "There is one way to play this game, you must play it my way", "you are dog it wrong", "why don't you do this"... Maybe they know and they've chosen to try something else to break up the boredom ... I don't know, some of the best times I've had in dungeons are when people are just having fun, like one dungeon I went into the tank changed into a bikini to see how far they could get, or when I was starting to tank, a healer wanted to see how low they could let my health go before they heal me, so I did huge pulls lol. People seem just to want to run things as fast as possible, rather than play the game for fun

There's fun - the kind outside of established norms, or perhaps personal challenges among friends, then there's "fun" - the kind where someone decides to do something that can/will impact others playing, and without telling them, which only causes complications and dampens the fun for all but the person who made that decision for everyone.

I'm all for enjoyment and maybe shaking things up from time to time, but I - and I'm sure many - don't consider someone making their role harder to perform or giving them more to deal with to be "fun".

At the very least, if you want to do something unusual for fun, communicate it. The worst anyone can say is no.

[SenorPatty]

I think that first of all, we have to separate advice and calling out as they are not the same and yet you have people who treat them as if they are. In the context where both are done civilly, the one I find that usually gets much more flak is the call out. People are not fond of only being told the obvious because they're typically already aware; they simply can't or don't know how to deal with what's killing them.

As for giving advice, it's an ambivalent situation. What are you giving advice about? And when? And how? Is your advice actually relevant to the content? Is it on point or are you going full on Wikipedia? Do you wait until someone screws up a few times or right the beginning? At day's end, everyone has a particular way they will respond to (civil) advice and the one giving it will never know how to shape it to the advised preferences.

That's why personally, I just begin with simply asking if they want it first or not. In DF, we're all strangers and we can't spend time investigating how to approach one another so its better, imo, to keep things short:

"Do you want advice on this particular thing?
If yes, be concise. If no, do not press.
Regardless of answer, if things don't work out after X times, abandon/leave/kick. Don't try to band-aid something that needs more attention and/or help. Excise yourself and stay mentally safe/sane.