Proboy abuse in dungeons.

[Johnyt]

I'm nearly 40 myself and if I got to the point where I was slowing others down or affecting their enjoyment of the game then I would stop playing.

Your sort of underlining my point a bit there. Those who are giving the abuse are also affecting the enjoyment of the game for others.

Some of you have missed what I'm trying to talk about. Forget about my age and so on, this post was never really about me personally. I was highlighting that a fairly large number of our FC said in one way or another they feared the abuse they might get as they had seen it happen to others. I cant believe that this is the only group of people in the game that must be feeling this way. And its a shame because its impeding people where they could otherwise flourish.

If I'm asking too much for people to be nice to each other then I'll stop asking. Just trying to do the best I can for the those who are unhappy.

[Risvertasashi]

If I'm asking too much for people to be nice to each other then I'll stop asking. Just trying to do the best I can for the those who are unhappy.

Honestly, I can't think of an online community nicer than FFXIV's. Every other game I play, which is a lot -- people are far harsher, more hostile. It's even come up in interviews about FFXIV's playerbase being a bit older (and thus implied, more mature on average).

That said, there's going to be mean people here and there. Yeah I hate it when people say "grow thick skin" because it implies it's OK when it's not. Nonetheless, just like real life... It *is* something you just have to deal with from time to time. FFXIV's community is already about as good as it gets. Or play a game that has no public chat, I suppose, those do exist too.

[Pastahnak]

"Hello, first time here" "Hello, new tank/healer here" super easy to say before the dungeon starts that stops virtually everyone from being nasty to u. Obviously don't get upset when u wipe because ur not mitagating damage or ur sitting there casting cure 1 on the black mage while the tank dies and people give u less than friendly advice on what you did wrong and how to fix it. Alternatively if you'd like to live in ur fc bubble and u feel there are too many hatful players out there (there isn't) then run leveling content with FC only members.

[Linx0r]

There is always the chance that you can get a 'bad apple' or two when running dungeons. It's a part of the culture and like real life, there are jerks everywhere. Unfortunately, you are missing out on a great game with more GOOD people than bad if you just run with FC. My advice: if they want to play a class but are hesitant on criticism, just put a polite message at the start of the run stating you are new to your class, patience and advice is appreciated. If you get people who get angry or abusive of this, copy the screen chat and send to GM (report harassment), blacklist that player and just queue again. That's the beauty part - there are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many players out there and a large part of them are GOOD people. You are more often than not to get them then a jerk or douche.
Remember, it's a game and have fun! This game allows you many different ways to do so.

[ChameleonMS]

Fear of the bad apple behaviour is just a symptom of a personal lack of confidence. Tell your players, mistakes happen. Groups wipe. It is not a big deal. Players will try and blame you and that is why you have a kick player option.

As another older player (mid 40s) let me tell you a story from 2.x days. I was tanking Snowcloak, for probably second or third time. I was an experienced but not expert level proficiency tank in those days (meaning I did not raid on tank).
During the large trash mob pull before the second boss the Healer could not keep me alive, I burned multiple cooldowns and the wipe still happened. The healer blamed me for pulling too much before his MP was ready, as a Scholar he should not have had any MP issues period. If that is where it ended, that would have been fine. He and his DPS friend continued to berate me for a little while. Then they kicked me.
I immediately requeued back into the same instance, and said only one thing "Done bitching yet? If not, find another tank."
The rest of the run was pretty smooth. Moral of the story, stand up for yourself and things will usually turn out just fine. The bad apples are just the online version of the school yard bully.