Maybe you were doing it wrong.
I knew what a Roleplaying Preferred server was nearly 20 years ago. My only experience prior to that was rolling dice in HS. And I know without having to look it up that Balmung is the 'unofficial' RP server since SE didn't tag one. I've seen Non-RPers over 20 years and over a dozen games say why they typically join RP servers even though they don't themselves RP.
If you don't get it, I don't know what else to tell you.
An RPer Roleplays.
A Non-RP doesn't.
Its not hard. You become a Roleplayer via a desire to Roleplay. You don't need to be taught how.
You didn't need to be taught how to use WASD or Control stick to move did you? No, you didn't.