Anyone ELSE feel that mentors are a blight on society...?

[BigRed5392]

That's kind of the attitude I was referencing with my previous hyperbole.

If there's a new player bonus message and people repeatedly die to mechanics, it's safe to assume someone doesn't know mechanics. In that instance I think anyone should be offering advice, mentor or not. It helps if you don't particularly aim it at anyone then if someone messed up they get the "oops, that's my bad" internal monologue rather than feeling scalded.

Also, theres a distinct difference between "you need to run away from the charge there or you'll die" and "fkn noob [insert aggressive rant]" I'm of the former persuasion.

We all should be helping each other regardless, no point pre judging people because they have a sprout or a crown icon.

may want to take a step back and learn how to give advice first.

this is how: "hey mind oi give you some advice?" "want tips?"

"you need to run away from the charge there or you'll die" can be seen as rude just as much as "fkn noob [insert aggressive rant]" is this is something you may want to learn.

"you need to run away from the charge there or you'll die" can come off as you being frustrated, and seen as telling a person what to do. People do not like being told what to do.

If you took time to read what I wrote, and listen you would be following what you preach, but you are claiming my mindset is what you are explaining against.

You can't force people to learn, you can offer to help, and they have every right to refuse. People learn differently, and should be respected. If a person is willing to learn, they will strive to learn. If a person could care less, they won't. You forcing them to learn, is rude and becomes part of the problem.

If the party is not working together, or can't come to a friendly compromise, leave/disband vote abandon.

My g/f started ff14 in 1.0, main'ed monk till 2.0 when she found that she couldn't play it with the changes. She started to play Gladiator ff14 is the first time she played as a tank, so she was/is willing to take advice. yet All she got was crude treatment, and only "tips" was to "google it" no guide links, no youtube videos. And truth be told she had no computer to even look stuff up, and wanted easy to understand explanations. I've witnessed her get harassed so much over her tanking, that its crazy how rude people can be. I sat with her over voice chat for 4 years hearing her cry, her thinking she is the worst tank in the world over the fact she lost hate, or simply isn't fast enough.


She got bitter at the critiquing with no assistance, and woulds simply leave a dungeon at the first bad remark., or just straight up defend herself getting angry, she loves getting advice when she asks/asked if willing. It wasn't till finding the youtube channel "worktogame" (after she moved in with me) did she finally get better.

See what doesn't help is my g/f has ADD+ autism (Aspergers) she gets anxiety when criticized for every lil mistake, she isn't new to mmo but ff14 is different from past mmo.

tbh my G.f learns best by doing, not reading guides, but seems this community is a stickler for "must read guide b4 content"


the way i learn is research, i personally never had an issue, but i try to research. We are all different, we all learn differently. Just remember context matters because text doesn't present tone, your Polite, is another person snarky.


tlrd: there is a difference between offering advice and shoving it down people throats. "you need to avoid charge you you'll die" can be seen as shoving down throat. May want to explain how to avoid it btw.

If they have a question and ask it I'll give them an answer if it's about mechanics, a duty, or where to locate something. Otherwise I expect them to think and figure things out like I did when I did something the first time. But then I grew up in an environment that put focus on active thinking, awareness, and problem solving rather than spoon feeding answers to children. There's no problem with mistakes as long as you learn from them.

I do however depending on my mood point out when someone is using job skills incorrectly. Example being new tanks spamming provoke on enemies they already have top enmity on because they think its increasing their enmity further.

you can type that and not be pretentious. Not everyone ;earns the same way, the moment you think helping another player is akin to "spoon feeding children" you have really no business trying to help. (aka i though your post was rude, and not something we should promote)

[RitsukoSonoda]

*snip*

The bigger problem IMO is people with your mindset that give off the impression that everyone needs to have their hand held and be treated like a delicate snowflake. People wont learn if you just give them all the answers beforehand so they don't have to think or utilize problem solving skills to resolve their own issues. The same way you claimed someone else's example could be taken as offensive the same examples you gave "hey mind oi give you some advice?" "want tips?" can be taken as offensive just as easily. I honestly don't care if someone thinks I am being rude as long as they understand what I am saying to them because I value getting the point across over "political correctness". Additionally there's the fact that pretty much anything and everything is going to be rude or offensive to someone so ultimately there isn't any point to candy coating things.

I have a younger brother who has autism. He generally learns from doing and observation. Reading things doesn't really get the point across to him which was more than a slight hinderance since school was pretty much textbooks and chalkboards. My family still pushed values on him to actively think and solve his own problems. He might have repeated the same mistake multiple times before he figured it out but it remains he was able to figure it out himself.

In the end my stance on mentoring is to allow people to find a solution on their own. If they ask for advise or ask questions I have no issues providing an answer. This is because the solution they came up with was to ask someone for help. I do not promote the idea of providing all the answers before someone even has the chance to attempt figuring it out on their own. Done too much this creates a dependency of or expectation that everything will be provided for them which ends up being detrimental to their development as a person in general.

[BlastHardcheese]

snip)

I read what you wrote and understood it, I just didn't agree with it.

My example is about a hypothetical situation. Of course you tailor the information based on the context of what you're trying to explain. I'm not going to post a huge diatribe on how to dodge a specific mechanic just to use as an example.

If you or your gf feel attacked by someone typing "We need to stand in the purple aoe or we'll get hit by an earthquake and take damage." I really don't know what to say and I'm sorry you feel that way but that's the nature of running content and this game may not be for you.

Have fun out there. Peace.

EDIT: To the above poster: You may be right, plus I have a pretty long play time to pull bad experiences from. If you need help with anything though, let me know.