Dating & Romance Rant

[Vidu]

I must have missed the part in the 4.1 content preview about dating and romance. Can I date Estinien? How do I get him to like me?

http://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/pr/blog/000692.html
I'm afraid Estinien isnt on the list so far...

That joke aside: While I understand that this might not be the ideal place to post about someones personal problems (and this thread being potentially closed because its not related to the game), whats the problem with it? If he feels comfortable enough within this community to share something personal like this, we shouldnt make fun of that or get a little nasty but maybe rathertry to prove that this is indeed a nice enough community that someone might be able to share those things - I can understand the need to just talk about it somehow somewhere, even if it might not be the best place.

[TouchandFeel]

So slightly tangential yet somehow also very relevant.

I recently picked up the latest Odesza album, "A Moment Apart", and there is a really nice uplifting song on there that I feel may be worth a listen to anyone feeling down in the dumps.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xF-UznUkhP8

[GundamAxelWing]

I will say this in order for a deep relationship to work you go with the flow of things it will work both ways for you and your partner the other thing as said before you got to stop looking at others as crushes it can only be 1 and 1 alone you work with and keep things simple and don't over think it.

[Nora_of_Mira]

whats the problem with it?

I don't have an answer, other than I came to this forum and clicked this thread thinking it was FFxiv related. I think my needs as a reader of the forums are equal to the rights of posters to the forums. But if this stuff is allowed in GD, I'll move along and read other complaints.

[Mycow8me]

http://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/pr/blog/000692.html
I'm afraid Estinien isnt on the list so far...

Not gonna lie, this would be pretty awesome if it was still in the works as a fellowship system similar to ffxi... But with how well SE is killing off their cast, I dunno how it would even be possible unless it ends up utilizing the retainers which would still be great but not nearly as interesting.

[MoroMurasaki]

Searching out a relationship for the sake of a relationship is a great way to start something that won't last. My first relationship was five years long and about four and a half of them were super abusive but a fear of being alone kept me in.

It took me about a year after finally ending everything to be really okay with being single. I found some hobbies (like mmo's!) and started going to the gym in my spare time. About six months into my wonderful happy single life I met the best man ever, we've had 5 years of the perfect relationship since then.

I think to get to the place you want to be (in a happy relationship where you feel supported and loved, like you can blindly trust your significant other with anything) it takes getting to know and love yourself first. I was 21 before I was secure enough to start something that is healthy and happy.

From your posts I feel like you need to feel better about you. You even call yourself unattractive! That is not okay. If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see then change it. Going to the gym was an amazing thing for me; I'd carried around like 15 lbs that I was never happy with and when I got rid of them I felt amazing. You need to feel amazing about you, whatever that takes. Confidence is sexy but more importantly not feeling backed into a corner where you'll date anyone willing to date you is important. Having some self worth will naturally increase the standards that you hold potential girlfriends to and that's a good thing. Have standards.

I know this is sort of rambly, my apologies, it's just something very close to my heart. Love you before you try to love someone else!

[Saiah]

I might sound a little harsh,but I mean well. In your current situation, its not going to happen. You have low self esteem and im going to assume by your character name that youre not very social in real life to put it mildly.

If you want to attract a partner, you have to put yourself out there. Humans are just animals, and thats how animals do it. They go out and show themselves off. What you need to do is invest in yourself.

Are you depressed? Go see a therapist. Are you out of shape? Join a gym and lift weights. Get a haircut. Buy some new clothes. Take the time to find a cologne that suits you. This will not only make you look better. More importantly: this will make you feel good. And if you socialize feeling like a million dollars, people will notice. Because you'll radiate confidence, you'll have a smile on your face. You will look like someone people will want to get to know.

And thats the next important thing. Go out and socialize. Get noticed. Start going out. Do you have friends? Go out for drinks on the weekends. I actually like the challenge of going out by myself to clubs and bars ive never been before. I sit down at the bar, start chatting with the bartender(s) and see how it goes from there. Its a great way to meet new people. Every place I go to is a new shot at making a first impression.

Also, join activities. Could be anything that remotely interests you. Ive volunteered for cleaning up garbage on the beach and met alot of people. Theres a group of volunteers that takes elderly people in a retirement home out for wheelchair rides. Im thinking about applying for that. Why? It allows me to meet new people, and it makes me feel good about myself.

A colleague of mine is a member of a group thats actually called "meeting new people" and I met a bunch of them when I went to a beer tasting event with him. They were allpretty decent people and I could tell that some had the same struggles as you. They were a bit awkward, but they were on the right track!

Long story short, you need to work on your confidence and go out and socialize. And THEN you can start actively looking for a partner. Otherwise youll just get more depressed and frustrated. Turn that downward spiral upside down!

/psych

[Wilford111]

Just as a reminder, I didn't know if it was appropriate to post this kind of thing in this forum and in fact thought it would be locked shortly after I posted it. Seeing as how it's been a few days and it still hasn't been locked, I think it's safe to say that it's being allowed to stay on here.

Also, finally people are starting to mock me for posting this On the upside, I assumed I would get mostly people condemning my post and my attitude from the offset, but there have been a ton of people who seem to genuinely want to help and give support, and I'm so happy to see that. It was a very nice surprise. Thanks again to everyone giving constructive advice.

[Nora_of_Mira]

Just as a reminder, I didn't know if it was appropriate to post this kind of thing in this forum and in fact thought it would be locked shortly after I posted it. Seeing as how it's been a few days and it still hasn't been locked, I think it's safe to say that it's being allowed to stay on here.

Also, finally people are starting to mock me for posting this On the upside, I assumed I would get mostly people condemning my post and my attitude from the offset, but there have been a ton of people who seem to genuinely want to help and give support, and I'm so happy to see that. It was a very nice surprise. Thanks again to everyone giving constructive advice.

I think they don't care unless people are arguing or being harassed.

edit: I wanted to mock the post, not you personally. no ill will, fam.

[Wilford111]

edit: I wanted to mock the post, not you personally. no ill will, fam.

ahh okay, I get you. It's all good.