I just want to say one thing: you're not forced to pull a lot.

When I'm tank, the first thing I look it's the gear of my heal, to see if he can handle a big pull.
Second thing: my dps. If they are a Nin and a Drg, I don't make a big pull, it's useless. But if I've a Brd or a Blm, then I'll do a big pull.

I guess peoples that make pressure on tanks are peoples that don't play tank, and then don't know how it really works.
Try to stand out!

P.S: for myself, I've to say that I found the "new" tank in Stormblood a kinda boring.