What makes a good mentor?

[Hestzhyen]

First of all, I see negativity in your words. You describe those questions as "stupid"... it's not a good sign. ... Thank you for your participation.

Well you sound pretty pompous and condescending to me, but that's mostly a limitation of text-only communication. No question is actually stupid, but it can be frustrating to see people asking the same easily-researched question over and over again. Greg's NN had a fun time in Heavensward making jokes about how a drinking game with the rule "take a shot every time someone asks what Palace of the Dead is" would kill people. Questions people consider "stupid" are the ones that the player asking could easily find the answer to themselves. So if there's negativity in my statement it's all on how you interpreted it- I thought the quotation marks would have been a dead give-away. I guess add that to your list: your advice can be taken the wrong way if you aren't careful about how you word it. That's more of a life lesson though.

[Lyrai_Celestine]

snip snip~

Ah! How terrible of me to think that way now that you said it. Please forgive my naivety!
I think life lessons are also okay to me. It helps me mature, so don't fret!

So, that's what you meant by "stupid". Well... I do think it's stupid when someone doesn't know how to dodge a simple AoE telegraph in a level 70 dungeon... right? But, I don't believe that asking what POTD is, is a stupid question. I genuinely didn't know about POTD until I was introduced by my friends on my first few days in FFXIV, after all. I remember when I asked why Quarrymill was so crowded.

[Jybril]

1) Don't antagonize other players, especially sprouts. If they aren't performing well offer tips but don't insult them.
2) You're going to get asked a lot of "stupid" questions like "What's PotD", "What's LB mean", and "How do I unlock [job]"- while it's tempting to tell people to look it up and stop being lazy, it costs you nothing to answer the questions if you're just idling around anyway. If you can answer them, do it- and don't be a jerk about it.
3) Mentors should be held to a higher standard. Don't stoop to the level of trolls, flamers, and asshats. (i.e. Don't be a little b*** if things don't go your way, be the bigger person.)
4) Don't do Mentor Roulette unless you're prepared to get a synced EX primal and teach a lot of newbies how to do it via trial and error. And if you do get one don't leave right away- you're there to help after all.

Well you sound pretty pompous and condescending to me.

Well with this attitude...I don't believe when people asks those questions they are not "stupid"
and even if it's like "CAN'T YOU LOOK IT UP!?" Kinda the reason they have us Mentors.
People wanna socialize instead of reading it off the internet. A lot of people make friends of Novice Chat.
Shows that us mentors care about our newbies and want to help them personally.
That's the whole point of Mentoring.

You also seem defensive towards Lyrai's response and it no way did I see her being condescending or pompous.

[Hestzhyen]

Well with this attitude...I don't believe when people asks those questions they are not "stupid"
and even if it's like "CAN'T YOU LOOK IT UP!?" Kinda the reason they have us Mentors.
People wanna socialize instead of reading it off the internet. A lot of people make friends of Novice Chat.
Shows that us mentors care about our newbies and want to help them personally.
That's the whole point of Mentoring.

You also seem defensive towards Lyrai's response and it no way did I see her being condescending or pompous.

I'm not going to derail this into a personal argument so I'll just say my bit and be done with it. I've been told I come across as aggressive when I think I'm being neutral and this is probably one of those times. If I come across as gruff then that's just how it is- but we all come across differently to different people. I've never ate a penalty to abandon a duty even if I hated every moment of it, I try to explain mechanics if people want me to (and never spoil it for people who want a blind first run), and even if I get frustrated I do my best to keep it civil and at worst just ignore the antagonists. Might not be the pinnacle of Mentor behavior but that's as good of a baseline as any I think. If I'm in NN I'll answer some questions too. I'd never be able to be a teacher IRL because they can't just ignore different people asking the same easily-researched questions over and over again, but as a Mentor I can let other people answer if I'm just burnt out from seeing "What's PotD?" for the tenth time in an hour... some people even make macros so they just hit a button to provide an explanation when one of those ultra common questions come up. We can rely on each other, which is nice. I don't think I'd want to be a Mentor if it meant being a lonely beacon for every newbie question under the sun- sometimes I just don't want to feed people answers any more.

To that end, if you're going to put the crown on you should be ready to help. If you aren't feeling particularly helpful, take it off. I've had mine off for the past few days since I've been stressed IRL and didn't feel like being under pressure to guide newbies and answer every question- I haven't been rude, disruptive, or deadweight- just quiet and willing to let them figure things out for themselves. I think a lot of people just put the crown on and leave it there no matter what kind of mood they're in which is how you hear horror stories of sproutlings being traumatized by the people who are supposed to be helping them. You should never be a jerk of course, but if you're not in the position to be a stellar example of the playerbase, then just turn it off. No one expects flawless play or knowledge about every single facet of the game from any one particular mentor, but they do expect to see a role-model for attitude and behaviour. If you can't bring yourself to be a cheerleader or a fount of wisdom then you should probably return to being a regular player for a while.

FWIW I think SE should consider revoking crowns for people who repeatedly set a bad example. It's impossible for them to preemptively vet who's suited for the role and who isn't personality-wise, but they can certainly revoke the status and access to the Mentor-specific awards if there are enough complaints about a person's behaviour.