I believe that's your experience, even though it's far from mine. However, I don't think you'll find anyone here defending this double standard you're experiencing.
This is my experience as well.While this is purely anecdotal, I have seen far more instances of people calling out tanks for poor cooldown usage, or for DPS just eating AOEs than I have ever seen when it comes to healer DPS--be it excess or lack there of. Never have I see anyone call any healer "trash" for not DPSing. They may be grumbling on the other side of the their screen about it, but they certainly don't harass the idle healer to the extent people on here like to make it out to be.
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