Tales from Duty Finder: Some make you laugh, some make you cry. Let's vent.

[Aramina]

Thread title:
Tales from Duty Finder: Some make you laugh, some make you cry. Let's vent.

But be warned, if you actually do this someone will come along and accuse you of being salty!

Bolded for relevance.

[Stormbad]

snip...

Miste, in my opinion, you did the right thing. I read your tone as helpful and the way you began showed you were trying to break the ice by not being so blunt to start the conversation. There was no judgement, just trying to help.

With that, my story is that we had a full FC group last night queing for Dun Scaith and we ended up never going after we waited for over 2 hours. So instead, we decided to form a cult to try to sell our souls for a queue pop.

[TaranTatsuuchi]

...

...

On that other player's 'sometimes it doesn't drop off comment'.

It drops off every time I've clicked the button that I can recall, and if they accidentally double tap it...
They shouldn't be 'spamming heals', just 2 heals to try and keep the tank stable while they wait out the 5second lockout to turn it back off and then heal them properly...

[Vidu]

To get this back on track I'd like to share a few mentor roulette stories - some encouraging, some making me question myself why I'm even doing this. Note that I'm queueing for all mentor roulettes as a scholar, always inprogress.

1) Sunken Temple of Qarn, NM - everyone is above level 50, the BLM is still new and running this for her mainquest. Since the whole group is german, explaining gets a little easier - understanding is apparently difficult for some people even if you're speaking the same language. I explain the first boss, the BLM still dies to doom (okay, okay, first time). Then the tank dies because no one except me was bothering with the adds and I was raising that BLM. I raise the tank, manage to kill one bee before it kills me and take the final sting from the other one. But we make it without a wipe, wohoo! Less wohoo on the second boss that I explained again - but the BLM didnt seem to understand the concept (they must have dealt with Titan already... right?) and kept attacking the boss instead of the soulstone. When I call it out again they stop doing anything for the two minutes it takes them to type "sorry, didnt noticed". Yeah for scholar dps! Last boss is surprisingly smooth... in retrospective: probably thanks to me being the person going into those "traps" to kill the "adds" inside...

2) Inprogress queue pops. 54 minutes ellapsed... oh boy, but hey, maybe just some bad luck on the final boss or something...?
Nope, Sohm Al HM, just the two DPS standing infront of the second boss. An hour into the dungeon and the second boss is still alive... promising! I ask what went wrong and... silence. I check out there gear - a crafted Hive-weapon (ilvl180) for the dragoon and a neverreap-drop (ilvl160) for the summoner. Oh boy... they probably failed the Dps-check and the properly geared tank and healer left or something like that. I mention their bad weapons, aks about the dps-check, offer to try having titan-egi tank this. Silence. I explain to them again that 30 minutes might not be enough to finish, judging by their potential dps. Someone votes Abandon and before hitting yes, I can at least advice them to get better weapons before trying again. Also: Queue cleared out of the inprogress-stuff, yeah for that I guess!

3) Inprogress The Vault - being greeted with "Finally!" and nothing else, as if it was my fault they had been waiting. At least the group is at the last boss which is a pain to heal when your dps cant dodge to literally safe their life. The bard doesnt know how to sing - neither Foes (when I'm able to dps during the first half) nor ballad (when I'm running out of MP because I had to raise the ninja two times - I cant heal through AoE+bleed+chain, sorry!). We make it somehow and I felt like I carried those asses HARD - still: no thank you, no commendations (not that I need them but hey... I carried their asses through that last fight!)

4) Gulbal HM - everyone but me is watching the cutscene and yep, all first timers! I know that because everyone actually said so in the chat, amazing! I already like those people! Consequently I tell them that I'll offer as much advice as they want - as in: I can give you advice or we can run blind and I keep my mouth shut. They decide they want to hear boss strats and they're actually waiting patiently for like a minute before each boss while I'm typing an explaintion ;_; No one complains, no one pulls early or gets nervous ;_, Beautiful! The whole run went a bit slow but as far as I can tell everyone actually enjoyed it and had fun - cant ask for more!

[Xtrasweettea]

Time for me to add to this... but this is more of an apology than anything else.

TLDR:
> Joined an in progress Saint Mocianne's Arboretum as WAR, 6 mins in progress
> Two new people
> No problem, I enjoy this dungeon for multiple reasons, and two of us are overgeared for the dungeon, so it should go smooth
> It goes very smooth, trash pulls are a going down pretty quick
> First boss, goes real quick, no deaths, no accidental getting hit with status ailments
> Honey Comb part, no problem, healer never ran out of MP, no deaths, no close calls
> Second boss goes down faster than the first one
> I look at the clock, it is getting close to 9:00 PM... which is wife agro time
> I let the group know before the last set of trash about incoming wife agro
> Right before the final boss, get agrod by wife
> Had to excuse myself for a bit, usually I am not gone for long
> End up going AFK for so long, I got timed out due to inactivity and recieved penalty (rightfully so, no disagreements on that part)

So, my apologies to the party I was with last night. It was great run... too bad I couldn't finish it with you.

[KisaiTenshi]

I weep for the world we live in.

P.S. There is no flipping tone in what she said. Maybe if people stopped thinking if anyone says more than "Hi!!! <3<3<3" that they are being attacked we may all be in a better place. My CHILD needs less coddling than supposed adults in DF.

Did you actually even read her post? She was concerned about the healer allowing people to die from being healed while the healer was in Cleric Stance. Nowhere did she say, or imply, anything was taking too long.

If you've read her, or anyone's posts on the General forum, you know people around here are impatient. She was told to drop it by someone else in the party, that was where it should have ended.



Everyone else: there is this thing called de-escalation. Try it instead of being rude or snappy when you don't like what you hear.

Miste may have thought she was helping, but what was the purpose of trying 6 times?

Edit2: If the person plays as bad as we all know they are doing, it's likely they've been told by every person they ever played with and are sick of hearing it.

[Aramina]

Miste may have thought she was helping, but what was the purpose of trying 6 times?

Oh I don't know, maybe trying to avoid eventually dying? Or should she have just stood there and died so that no one would think the poor little healer was being mistreated.

Edit2: If the person plays as bad as we all know they are doing, it's likely they've been told by every person they ever played with and are sick of hearing it.

When the world all tells you the same thing, it's not the world that is the problem.

Simple solution: When everyone says you are doing x wrong. Start doing x correctly.

[KisaiTenshi]

Oh I don't know, maybe trying to avoid eventually dying? Or should she have just stood there and died so that no one would think the poor little healer was being mistreated.

Just chill okay. The rules of de-escalation involve not being judgmental and positive re-enforcement. If you want people to listen, the passive-aggressive tone, and sass works against the idea that you want to help.

If someone says no, just drop it, and let things fail if they fail. People will not learn if you do not let them fail.

Please be trolling please be trolling please be trolling.

Y'all should know by now that my posts are trying to be helpful :P

I don't post things on the forums to try and change peoples minds. No, first rule of the internet, is that any information posted to the internet can not be trusted.

You will have people omit context, cherry-pick, straw-man, ad hominem, and call people names before any truth comes out.

[vanitaslaughing]

Got a 7 minute in prog Dun Scaith, once I accepted I realised I had already... done it for last week. Whoopsie-daisy. But I'll stay, they're... on the crystal mobs. Okay?

The point I realised why the other DPS dropped (I assumed they were a caster, given that our party was two blms, another smn, a drg, ast... i think sch?). Was it because the team was slow? Nah, they were okay.
They dropped because the healers didn't raise. At all. AT ALL. The scholar tried, I suppose (only the cohealer), but during Scathach alone I tossed out at least 10 raises. Heals were slow and the lesser geared/newer people just dropped and... stayed dropped. Half our party was consistently dead until Diabolos finally died, and towards the end of Scathach I got cleaved by her being pulled into a weird direction from which I was dpsing the add. I was dead for 5 minutes flat, both healers had more than enough mp to raise me or the other two that had been dead (and before raised before dropping again by me) for even longer.


Like, I go in as summoner so I stay used to being a caster dps in preparation for Red Mage on Friday, and help out with raising because why shouldn't I, especially with AOEs coming out? But being the only person who raises, especially as summoner with much more limited MP...
Augh. I'll just skip on doing Dun Scaith today/tomorrow unless I get bored.

[Aramina]

Y'all should know by now that my posts are trying to be helpful :P

This, oddly maybe, I actually believe. If I may give a small touch of (albeit unasked for) advice? You may get a little further if you approached things from a more neutral standpoint rather than immediately assuming people are intending to be aggressive. I am not a mean person, honest, but when I see people constantly claiming others are elitist/impatient/whatever even I lose my temper a bit.