I went back again and read the OP's first post, then thought about it a bit with what everyone's said.

From what I'm reading in the OP's original post, no effort was made by anyone in two parties to teach mechanics and from what I've read, no one look at the OP's gear until people went looking at the Lodestone profile after the kick and first post. Although mentors shouldn't have to explain "Hey, you have a fending accessory on", it happens. We're all human and make mistakes.

One thing I'd also like to point out with gear is that the Recommended Gear button sometimes can be a pain. I've had it recommend accessories that are for my crafting & gathering classes, rather than battle or magic. Personally, I don't care why the fending accessory is there. It looks like it was just a mistake that was made, unless it's just to raise iLv. to get in, which I find to be lazy with how easy it is to get tomes. But we can't assume.

OP has also gone on record as saying that she watches videos also so that she can try to understand the mechanics, so she is not going in blind. When I first cleared Sohr Khai, I went in blind, but was with an FC member and a couple of friends who knew the fights. I messed up on a lot of stuff, my DPS was terrible, and I failed miserably at mechanics. It's been some time since I've cleared and I still sometimes wipe with people who are clearing it.

Gear aside, whether it's Sastasha or Sohr Khai, I still think that a mentor shouldn't be worrying about DPS and how fast things are dying for someone who's new to the instance unless there's an enrage that a party has to worry about, which I can't recall the last time I saw one of those in a dungeon like Sohr Khai.